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Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

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Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#121

Post by sosuke »

up_and_up wrote: post #114

This literally just happened to my Dad. He went from working fulltime to being retired. He has completely lost his sense of purpose in life, mopes around, is becoming depressed. I feel bad but its also kinda pathetic. I mean c'mon dude you have decades of time to do whatever the fuck you want to. To me this is a symptom of men who do not find any other purpose in their life besides working and providing. We need dive…

I hope you're trying to do something to light a fire for him. This happened to a relative of mine and I still am trying to get him into more hobbies. He has more free time than he knows what to do with.

Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#122

Post by cableshaft »

gozur88 wrote: post #52

I wonder if this article isn't putting the cart before the horse. If you're not getting just older but also sicker it gets harder and harder to drag yourself to work each day. Or, to put it another way, maybe you're working at 75 because you're not sick instead of not being sick because you're working.

I'm in my thirties, and already have some mild chronic health issues that make me not really want to go to work some days. I imagine at 75 it's going to be nearly impossible to get me to go in to work most days. Hopefully everyone lives 24/7 in a VR pod by then.

Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#123

Post by Kluny »

p4wnc6 wrote: post #55
Kluny wrote: post #46

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You've got to learn to avoid telling them that you're unemployed. Best way is to work for yourself. Assign yourself a project, pay yourself in equity, and work on it for a few hours each day. Rehearse telling people about it in such a way that it sounds like a legit job. That will be easier if you take it as seriously as a legit job.

In my case, I was required to relocate from a large east coast city back to my family's home in the rural Midwest, where I perform functions to care for a family circumstance and they take up effectively a full-time job's worth of hours every week. It's all I can do to continue exercising and cooking healthy meals. "Working" a full-time side project that yields no short-term income is wholly and entirely physically i…

Ah, I see. I think that still counts as work. If you've been saying "I've been off work" in interviews, that might not work, but it would be just as true to say "I've been working for my family."

Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#124

Post by ambicapter »

chipsambos wrote: post #94
andyjdavis wrote: post #33

>“You go from working 50, 60, 70 hours a week to zero,” Moen says. “And it very much affects your identity. Who am I? For men, the answer usually is their job.” I feel like this is a problem our whole life however it is only once we retire that we are forced to confront it. Until then we are able to avoid dealing with a lack of fulfilling activities outside of work, limited social connections and a weak sense of iden…

>“You go from working 50, 60, 70 hours a week to zero,” Moen says. “And it very much affects your identity. Who am I? For men, the answer usually is their job.” That is why it's important not anchor your identity in the transient. The world is full of people who do and it invariably hits them hard when things inevitably change: Mothers with empty nest syndrome, ageing people clinging desperately to their youthful goo…

What can you anchor yourself which Isn't transient?

Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#125

Post by giardini »

tajen wrote: post #62
andyjdavis wrote: post #33

>“You go from working 50, 60, 70 hours a week to zero,” Moen says. “And it very much affects your identity. Who am I? For men, the answer usually is their job.” I feel like this is a problem our whole life however it is only once we retire that we are forced to confront it. Until then we are able to avoid dealing with a lack of fulfilling activities outside of work, limited social connections and a weak sense of iden…

I recognize I'm in this situation, but I have no idea what one could do to make a life meaningful, outside of good work or raising great kids, hopefully with a loving partner. I have already tried many things: Living in 3 other countries for 4 years in total (but I was missing family and friends support), being self-employed (I do B2B software like P.McKenzie), learning to dance (3 times, but I feel crap at it), musi…

If life is truly boring and you seek "meaning" then your suggestion, "raising great kids", is the path to take.

Picking up that first little bundle in your hands sets off neurons that lay latent for decades awaiting the moment and which instantaneously rewire your brain to protect/foster. If you had control before that moment, you certainly don't after. And you'll have more "meaning" than you can handle.

Bad news: you'll _worry_ about them until you die - retirement will be the _least_ of your concerns.

P.S. Mormon girls are smart, friendly, usually very healthy and most of them believe that children are a good thing.

Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#126

Post by up_and_up »

sosuke wrote: post #121
up_and_up wrote: post #114

This literally just happened to my Dad. He went from working fulltime to being retired. He has completely lost his sense of purpose in life, mopes around, is becoming depressed. I feel bad but its also kinda pathetic. I mean c'mon dude you have decades of time to do whatever the fuck you want to. To me this is a symptom of men who do not find any other purpose in their life besides working and providing. We need dive…

I hope you're trying to do something to light a fire for him. This happened to a relative of mine and I still am trying to get him into more hobbies. He has more free time than he knows what to do with.

I have been trying for years but he lives far away so its hard to encourage beyond words and trying to pay for activities etc.

Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#127

Post by smilingtom »

brandon272 wrote: post #6
jaggederest wrote: post #3

As they say in the article, I think many people approach retirement as a cessation. From what I've seen of my own parents, I hope that retirement for me will be more a change of what I'm working on, and how I work, rather than whether or not I work. I'm also trying to make those changes now - working on what I want to work on, at a reasonable pace, at the level and times I'm interested. I'd quite happily keep doing t…

I view retirement mostly as financial freedom. I have every intention of working after retirement as I get personal enjoyment out of doing what I do. I just haven't decided what "work" will look like.

Wait, so you know you will work after retirement. You get personal enjoyment out of your work. But you don't know what your work will be?

It sounds like you're saying that you want to continue existing and being able to do things after you retire... That is exactly what retirement is. Why do you feel like you need to sound like one of those "go-getting", "I'm-always-working" people who thinks everyone should work 22 hours a day?

Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#128

Post by coldtea »

chubot wrote: post #34
andyjdavis wrote: post #33

>“You go from working 50, 60, 70 hours a week to zero,” Moen says. “And it very much affects your identity. Who am I? For men, the answer usually is their job.” I feel like this is a problem our whole life however it is only once we retire that we are forced to confront it. Until then we are able to avoid dealing with a lack of fulfilling activities outside of work, limited social connections and a weak sense of iden…

I think this is why it's good to work for an employer who supports open source. You don't want the entire value of your work and your social connections to be abruptly cut off once you leave the company. I saw this happen to both my parents. My dad was forced to retire at 53 and the value of his work was locked up inside that company (he worked there for over 20 years, so your skills develop in a bubble). For the las…

>I think this is why it's good to work for an employer who supports open source.

Because open source is somehow inherent to a meaningful life?

Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#129

Post by ergothus »

abhi152 wrote: post #49
ergothus wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This. I am baffled by friends and family that talk about how they couldn't retire because what would they do? My response is to list the many, many things I want to do that I can't because I 'have to work': read more, learn new languages (spoken & computer), take up the piano/guitar, try new games (board, tabletoprpg, computer), write, program, etc. The only reason I ever get bored is because I don't have the time, r…

@ergo You have a terrific mindset. To quote you "The only reason I ever get......... to do what I want". How does your brain keep itself so engaged ?

It's not all rainbows and sunshine - my brain likes to be _interested_, so as soon as I feel a challenge is "figured out" (even if it's incomplete) I tend to move on to the next thing.

So it's easy for me to be engaged, hard for me to complete anything.

Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health

#130

Post by heartsucker »

gerbilly wrote: post #109
CuriouslyC wrote: post #104

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you take care of your body there is no reason you can't mountain bike, climb or surf at 65. I'm willing to bet there are people over 65 doing all those things much better than you are currently able to.

> I'm willing to bet there are people over 65 doing all those things much better than you are currently able to. Of course this is true, but my chances of being fit enough to engage in those activities at 65 go down with the passage of time, and from many factors outside of my control (accidents, major illnesses, something else...) But there's a more subtle point. By the time I'm 65 I may not want to surf or mountain…

Then decide right now that you want to be fit enough 30 years from now to mountain bike . What does that take? Probably the ability to pedal a bike with a heart rate of 150 for 3 hours. What does that take? You going out and riding a bike for 3 hours per day 2-3 times per week, every week until then. There ya go.

Not saying don't take the time to enjoy life now, but don't sell your future self short. Especially on fitness. I feel like it's "ok" to be unfit after 35 the way it's "ok" to be bad at math. Like somehow society agreed that both of those just don't matter.

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