I'm not sure why "retire" is equated with sitting on the porch doing nothing. Perhaps that is the image that some folks hold but I know lots and lots of people who fund their own existence through passive income (savings, etc) and do all sorts of interesting things. I need a different word for that state, perhaps self employed might be more accurate since at that point you are paying your own "salary".
Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health
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Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health
#52Or, to put it another way, maybe you're working at 75 because you're not sick instead of not being sick because you're working.
Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health
#53I am only 30 but have been unemployed for about 15 months, due to a significant family health and legal situation. I can definitely say that not working, even if other life needs are met, has had a hugely adverse affect. I definitely need to feel proud of what I am working on to feel whole and well. Ceasing to work and then resuming a new job search is also demoralizing. Most people will not even consider hiring you…
That is a rough situation, and it sounds like you are hanging in there impressively. Hats off to you for that. I do have to agree with the other poster, I sounds like the big thing here is the framing of the situation, your presentation, and projecting confidence. Perhaps doing fake interviews with people and getting their feedback on the non-technical aspects could be helpful (it sounds like you are nailing the tech…
The family situation has required me to move to the rural midwest to do full-time care and administration of a legal issue, provide childcare, and do many other things. I went to high school and college here, so I know the ropes, but it's not a place that I identify with or culturally fit into, and I think anyone who interacted with me for a few minutes would know that quickly.
I will always continue practicing presentation skills, but confidence in public speaking and especially confidence in speaking clearly and precisely about the technical work I've done are things that come naturally to me.
Firms from SF have been among the worst. The tech culture there just seems problematic and I think I would strongly prefer New York or Boston over SF, though for a good-fitting role, I'd consider really anywhere.
But after interviewing with a lot of SF firms and getting feedback that either (a) they would not consider paying adequate relocation or (b) they would not consider someone who is not currently working, I just focused my search on different geographic regions.
I tend to get a lot of first interviews based on my education and past experience, but after I answer questions about my current unemployment gap, it's like everyone just feels it's too complicated to bother fiddling with it at all and they just dismiss it without considering my skills.
Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health
#54Earlier quoted context omitted.
Please expand on some of what you're working on! I've been thinking about just this sort of "work" to start dipping my toes into, don't quite know where to start.
A lot of it is me getting annoyed at something that certainly impacts many others. It's gone down some interesting paths. What I've found in general is that the small things not only add up, but they help find where the root causes are. So, if you can help fix the small things and enough people do it, the better the world becomes in general. Things like, "Why has that lamp been out for a month?" can become very inter…
Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health
#55I am only 30 but have been unemployed for about 15 months, due to a significant family health and legal situation. I can definitely say that not working, even if other life needs are met, has had a hugely adverse affect. I definitely need to feel proud of what I am working on to feel whole and well. Ceasing to work and then resuming a new job search is also demoralizing. Most people will not even consider hiring you…
You've got to learn to avoid telling them that you're unemployed. Best way is to work for yourself. Assign yourself a project, pay yourself in equity, and work on it for a few hours each day. Rehearse telling people about it in such a way that it sounds like a legit job. That will be easier if you take it as seriously as a legit job.
Besides that, it would be very dishonest of me to downplay or fudge the explanation of my current period of unemployment. The family problem has been severe and required me to leave from a job, dedicate huge amount of time and money, and many other sacrifices. The only reason I could consider taking a new job is that the income would allow me to pay for people to take over the care duties I am currently personally performing. So the exact, real reasons for my unemployment are actually very relevant, important things for my next employer to understand and fundamentally be OK with.
Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health
#56I'll even say it's worth $5000 because I spent so much time on it, and put it up for sale on eBay. If nobody buys it, then who cares?
But sit around and do whatever the default thing is (watch TV, etc.): No thanks.
Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health
#57Earlier quoted context omitted.
I view retirement mostly as financial freedom. I have every intention of working after retirement as I get personal enjoyment out of doing what I do. I just haven't decided what "work" will look like.
This. I am baffled by friends and family that talk about how they couldn't retire because what would they do? My response is to list the many, many things I want to do that I can't because I 'have to work': read more, learn new languages (spoken & computer), take up the piano/guitar, try new games (board, tabletoprpg, computer), write, program, etc. The only reason I ever get bored is because I don't have the time, r…
Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health
#58>“You go from working 50, 60, 70 hours a week to zero,” Moen says. “And it very much affects your identity. Who am I? For men, the answer usually is their job.” I feel like this is a problem our whole life however it is only once we retire that we are forced to confront it. Until then we are able to avoid dealing with a lack of fulfilling activities outside of work, limited social connections and a weak sense of iden…
Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health
#59I'm thinking I'll code till the day I die. So much cool tech is always coming out - so much to play with and invent! I also have very time consuming hobbies - reading, playing video games, pen and paper role playing games, board games.
I don't know if everyone is this way, but at 50 I am losing a little of the starry-eyed excitement. I've seen a lot of the same ideas come around again and again as a new great thing. And yet the pace of change is so fast, if you try to stay current you feel like you never really become an expert in anything. You get jaded. If and when I "retire" I would not see myself not working, but I do think I might do somthing…
Re: Why Continuing to Work Is Good for a Man’s Health
#60I.e. getting out of the bed and doing stuff helps you not to become a senile cretin. It doesn't have to be work