I've got a theory that string theory is more of a sociological phenomena than real science. It started as a genuine attempt to model how the nucleus was held together and then continued because it's a good area to do maths and write papers rather than because it models reality. One thing I don't get, which may be down to my own stupidity - take maybe the simplest interaction in physics - you have two electrons in spa…
I've got to say, that comes across as awfully dismissive toward a whole lot of very thoughtful people. I'm not entirely sure what you mean by it. Certainly all of the string theorists I've known (it's my profession) have talked as if they believed their work was involved in a "genuine attempt" to model reality.
Maybe a physicist can make a living by just "doing math and writing papers" without any expectation of making meaningful progress toward understanding the world, but the people who really drive the field and get noticed are almost invariably folks who dream of changing the world, of being the next Hawking or Witten or even the next Einstein. If someone like that doesn't have the a pretty solid hope that what they're working on is likely to be truly relevant to reality, they work on something else.
I think that others have already more or less answered your electron question. I might answer it this way: one of the great triumphs of 20th century physics was the realization that the details of how physics works on very small scales (or equivalently, very high energies) get very predictably "blurred out" when phenomena are measured at longer scales (or lower energies). The formal process involved is called "renormalization", and the punchline here is that essentially any ultimate theory of nature (whether that's string theory or something else) will reduce to an ordinary quantum field theory (with "renormalizable" fields) once you get a few orders of magnitude below its intrinsic scale.
That means in particular that any "stringy" physics (or any "loopy" physics, or even any simpler "grand unification" physics) will inescapably be completely washed out and undetectable when electrons interact from a few cm apart. All you need to understand is "simple" quantum electrodynamics, in which the two electrons exert a repulsive force on each other by way of their interactions with the surrounding electromagnetic field: interactions that can be described as being mediated by exchange of virtual photons as force-carrying particles.
For that calculation, it's not at all important to know that (e.g.) each electron is an extremely tiny string in a specific vibration mode, nor that they (more or less) emit and absorb virtual photons by pinching off into new tiny strings or in a different specific vibration mode and then joining back up with them in a uniquely determined way. (This would be a good place for me to note that nobody knows exactly which scenario in string theory would correspond to our world, so nobody actually knows exactly what vibration mode corresponds to an electron. But we know a lot of ways in which things like that might work.) My point here is just that most of the questions you've asked are really quantum field theory questions: the string theory connection is almost entirely unimportant in that regime.