Japan: It's Not Funny Anymore

I think this is the comment I've laughed hardest at out of every comment I've read on YC.

"Constipating" xD So awesomely descriptive. I'll be chuckling about this for quite a while (earning crazy-looks from random passers-by)!

> The insights into Japanese company-culture are fascinating.

For me, the most fascinating part about the Japanese society is the pastiche of mannerisms, catchphrases, and behaviors -- all copied from somewhere and never coming from an individual. There is a constant checking and double-checking that one is acting accordingly. These clues, on how to act, what to say, how to say it and when, are provided by tradition (easy defaults), television show hosts, celebrities, everything and anything external except from within.

At first it might seem that yelling something is a subjective show of raw, emotions, something very personal and unique, a show of anger or excitement, but in reality it is just a formula that is repeated many times, probably accompanied by a total inner apathy.

> From what I've read, and from the few movies I've seen that deal with Japanese culture, it _does_ seem like there's something about it that forces an distance between people that is hard to bridge.

It seems that both parties know they are participating in a formality theater but nobody wants to be the first to say "ah, fuck it, this is ridiculous".

Because of this drinking and participation in drinking if _very_ important. That is the only time when formality is allowed to be suspended and some semblance of real thoughts and feeling come out. It is the only time when you might find out what your perspective client really thinks about your product, or how loyal your employee really is.

I grew up as an expat in Central America for the first 14 years of my life. My parents worked for a religious NGO and part of their job was to help other incoming expats acclimate and adjust to the new culture. There's an entire branch of psychology devoted to culture shock, enculturation and acculturation. It's a pretty complex process. Becoming bicultural is a long, long process. A lot of monocultural people, by definition have little frame of reference, and it's hard to understand unless they've gone through it themselves.

Having been through it, and having watched hundreds of other people go through it during. I have no doubt that part of this rant is due to culture shock/enculturation difficulties.

As a rough generalization, there are several stages of enculturation (adapting to living in a different culture). The first stage is the actual culture shock. It generally takes 1-12 months to get over the initial, "OMG they eat Foo!" or figure out what end of the chopsticks to pick food out of the serving bowl with or how to buy groceries, or what side of the cheek to kiss as a greeting, or how low to bow to what people.

After the initial culture shock, there's generally a honey moon phase where everything is seen as wonderful an exciting and so much better than in the old country. That phase can last anywhere from 6 months to 3 years.

Frequently from year 2-6, post move, the honeymoon fades. The "flaws" in the new culture become increasingly apparent, and people get critical and frustrated at their adopted country. Cultural differences are seen as stupid, or backwards.

Slowly, after 4-6 years, people tend to get more accustomed to the new country. They start to adapt, and adopt the new culture as their own, and they feel a lot more at home. Some families I grew up with never made that transition.

I spent the first 14 years of my life living in Cost Rica and Honduras. I've been in the US for over 20 years. And, now, after being, "home" for 20 years, I'm finally starting to feel like I might belong in the US. Moving to the Bay Area, where there's a much bigger multi-cultural vibe helps. Had I stayed in the rural Midwest where my parents live, I would have gone apeshit. Still, after 20 years, some things about the US drive me crazy. I could have written a similar rant at many points the last 20 years.

I'm a lot of geek immigrants/expats could write a similar rant about their host country. Just ask your coworker engineer friends about the US immigration process. :) I know my parents ranted from time to time about life in Costa Rica or Honduras from time to time. They lived down there for 20 years. And, even though they got really pissed off from time to time, it didn't change their love of either country.

"I know that I love booze and meat so I'm not going to relocate to Bangalore any time soon."

Plenty of Booze and meat in Bangalore. Good Pubs, not so much.

" I almost always went because it does help you get to know your boss and co-workers (it was only about once-a-month). I don't really see a problem with it."

I made it a point never to go for one after my first experience. In Bangalore these take weird forms, usually wasting a holiday or a weekend, landing up in some god forsaken "resort", where you can do exciting things like play badminton or carroms, Quoits or Dumb Charades (I kid you not!), or quietly get drunk in a corner, with some of the really bad companies throwing in a few "mission and vision" style speeches from the powers that be.

Once I got a letter from a VP telling me to report to his office and explain why I didn't attend the "office party weekend + mission and vision session" over the previous weekend and I explained (quite diplomatically) that I didn't give a fuck about these things and had no intention of ever attending anything like this in the future either. He seemed completely shocked and speechless and was almost in tears when I left.

My immediate superior later gave me a veiled warning that my " career progress could be affected" by such "unorthodox attitudes" but, strangely enough, it wasn't. I got regular promotions and raises and was "on the leadership track" when I left because work was too boring. They didn't believe my reason for leaving either ("I am bored out of my skull"), because I was a "senior person" (I was 28!!) and was "poised on the leadership ladder" (yes they actually spoke like that!).

These were large companies though. Small (less than 20 people) company parties were often a lot of fun. I am so glad I don't have to work for large companies anymore.