Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?

news.ycombinator.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

181–190 of 622 posts

Re: Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?

#181

Post by logfromblammo »

dragonwriter wrote: post #62
boosting7669 wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Maybe the OP hasn't shared all information but if asking someone out and/or complimenting someone's appearance (albeit crudely) is now the equivalent of sexual harassment then be prepared for a rapid decline in population since no one will want to be the first one to make a move.

Continuing sexual advances in a work context after being explicitly rebuffed is textbook harassment. This is, perhaps, nearly the most minor incident possible of that basic pattern, but it also pretty clearly fits it.

Find the pattern in the following list of numbers:

  2

Re: Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?

#182

Post by datalist »

NateDad wrote: post #163
sathackr wrote: post #152

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Wait, so if I go to your boss and tell him you called me a MILF, it's true? It's not completely implausible there is an ulterior motive. And she is well protected if there is. He, on the other hand is not. None of us know enough about the situation to make a determination in either direction.

If you're a woman, yes, it's probably true. Like 10,000,000:1 chance. If the boss has known me for a long time and it seems completely out of character for me (which it would be), then maybe he talks to me about it to see WTF is up. But some dude who just got hired? Assuming there's no record and no witnesses? You have to go with the vastly more likely case that he did it. If that gets 1 in 10,000,000 guys unfairly f…

As if "positive" discrimation was ever useful or not just another form of discrimiation.

Re: Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?

#184

Post by anjc »

I'm baffled by this thread.

Yes it might not be appropriate and yes it might necessitate action, but fire him immediately when the "milf" handled it, ended it, and the situation was finished? He didn't push it further than his perception of her comfort level.

Furthermore, the term "MILF" has transcended its literal meaning. It doesn't, at this stage in time, literally mean "I want to fuck you". It's a normal Pop Culture term now which is synonymous with "attractive", is in every tabloid, on every reality show, blah blah. I'm not saying that it was appropriate to say it to her, but it isn't the aggressive, invasive term that is being suggested in this thread.

I can only guess that this occurred in the US; you all make it sound like a seriously stressful environment to be in.

Re: Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?

#185

Post by harryh »

jonnathanson wrote: post #180
harryh wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In addition to patio11's excellent advice it's time to get some training on this. Possibly the lawyer you're going to hire can do this. Possibly they can refer you to someone appropriate. There are very well established procedures for how to deal with this sort of thing. You need to know them. Depending on the size of your company your managers might need to know them too. Hacker News is not the best place to learn t…

I can't upvote this enough. Patrick's advice is very sound. (Except, perhaps, for that last bit about what to say in an email to employees -- before sending any such email, please refer to Patrick's earlier, superseding advice to "Lawyer Lawyer Lawyer." Let your lawyer basically dictate what your email will say.) There are ways of handling this that have been worked out through decades of practice and litigation. Thi…

Just to add on a bit more you are probably right about "b) terminate the offending employee for cause" but before you do that you almost certainly have to give the employee a chance to respond to the accusations. If you just fire him before doing that you are likely opening yourself up to a lawsuit for wrongful termination.

Yet again, this is something that a lawyer will help you handle correctly.

Re: Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?

#186

Post by emodendroket »

cybin wrote: post #81

I once worked at a company where my wife was the director of HR. Her boss the president of the company was being "serviced" my a girl in marketing. On day she didn't get a promotion. Then she sued for sexual harresment. The delema put my wife in the hospital. Ruined my marriage. Ruined the ceo's marriage. Ruined the company. Fire them both! Make it very public that you will not tolerate your time being wasted by idio…

I'm sorry about your marriage but this is awful advice.

Re: Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?

#187

Post by econner »

Mz wrote: post #174

So, I am female. When working at a Fortune 500 company, I once emailed a colleague and copied our two bosses. I advised him to never speak that way to me again. It went to HR. I got interviewed. I assume he got interviewed. He was not fired. He never spoke that way to me again. I eventually reestablished trust with this man and we got on well. I suspect he got sensitivity training. I was not told what went down. It w…

Why will firing him worsen the problem? I would fire this guy immediately.

> Men and women need to learn to interact at work.

Men should not need sensitivity training to interact with women at work.

Re: Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?

#188

Post by [deleted] »

sathackr wrote: post #152
NateDad wrote: post #132

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No one makes up stories like this. They're ALWAYS TRUE. Plus, she probably can show him history on whatsapp (if it supports that, I don't know). MILF is NEVER a compliment to a stranger. It's NEVER a compliment to a friend you just met. It's probably a bad idea even if you're in her bedroom and both stripping down about to have sex. The only time it's sorta safe to call someone a milf is if you were the one who made…

Wait, so if I go to your boss and tell him you called me a MILF, it's true? It's not completely implausible there is an ulterior motive. And she is well protected if there is. He, on the other hand is not. None of us know enough about the situation to make a determination in either direction.

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?

#190

Post by emodendroket »

boosting7669 wrote: post #146
patio11 wrote: post #36

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This will inevitably conclude with your employer settling a claim of retaliatory treatment subsequent to reporting sexual harassment for a sum of +/- $500k and with you being fired. Your competent legal advisor will, accordingly, recommend against retaliating against the reporting employee, even if you consider this issue beneath your notice. The laws of the United States on this matter are relatively well-settled an…

I obviously wouldn't fire the employee immediately for that reason. I'd give the employee in question an impossible project, and a few months down the line when the project isn't done I'd fire citing poor performance.

If that's your plan I wouldn't go around posting about it.
Post reply on HN