Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?

It's a work environment, not a bar. No one should normally need to make a "first move" in this context. Sure, work romances do sometimes happen, but I don't think our population is in any danger if they do not.

She was clear when she said "as friends at work". It wouldn't have been harassment if he hadn't been so crude and suggestive. if he'd just said "hey, want to have dinner some time?" Then it would have been a little forward, but not harassment. He didn't. He said "You're a mom I'd like to fuck".

It doesn't have to be ongoing to be harassment. Once you've declared "I'm the kind of guy that'll call you a milf to your face after only knowing you a short time"... all bets are off. Any time you're alone with him, you're going to feel uncomfortable. And I guarantee you, that kind of guy is not going to be a perfect angel the rest of the time. He clearly has messed up ideas of what is appropriate to say to women.

What your female employee has done is to cover her own ass in case the new male employee engages in any work-inappropriate behavior. If she comes to you again, and claims harassment, you are primed to believe her immediately and take immediate, appropriate action at that time.

Don't fire him. Don't kick his ass. Don't have a meeting with HR. Write down, "Ms. Y stated on [datetime] that Mr. X propositioned Y to upgrade beyond a work-only relationship, and Y declined. Y presented sufficient evidence to substantiate this claim." Attach a copy to both of their personnel files.

In two weeks, six weeks, and twelve weeks, proactively hold 1-on-1 meetings with all your employees, including Mr. X, and ask them if they feel as though Mr. X is assimilating well into the workplace. If no one has any complaints, even after you go fishing for them, there is no evidence of hostile workplace, and you have no further business with your employees' personal relationships.

It isn't your business to manage your employees' personal lives. It is your business to provide them with a safe, cordial, and productive work environment. It isn't your business to remediate unsavory bro-havior. I don't like how sales and biz dev tend to work in the real world, but I know that sometimes that kind of behavior is beneficial to a business. I just don't hang out with that sort of people in a social context. I prefer that their oily schmoozing be directed at potential customers, and I'm sure they prefer that I not ruin their good time with my dry-toast nerdity.

Personally, though, I would question the judgment of a biz dev employee whose first act in a new camp is to dig his latrine next to the watering hole. Aren't they supposed to cultivate new business relationships outside the company?