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My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine

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Re: My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine

#151

Post by zo1 »

samcodes wrote: post #80
depressedfather wrote: post #68

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thank you for all the responses. I took a large life insurance policy a few weeks ago, but I'll look for a therapist on Monday. There's a hundred in Boulder, I feel paralyzed, I don't have time to figure them out. The few friends I have don't hear me. I do exercise and team sport, I eat decently well, those are not the causes.

I've looked into it and I'm pretty sure you need to have the policy for two years for them to pay out for suicide. So, you may as well get on meds for that time, and who knows, they might help a lot. They did for me. I was on Prozac around 2004. About a year ago I sought out help again and I am on 3 different ones, and it just feels like more of a science than it did back then. "Oh you're still sad? More Prozac!" So…

>"I've looked into it and I'm pretty sure you need to have the policy for two years for them to pay out for suicide"

I was under the impression that most life-insurance policies don't pay out for suicide?

Re: My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine

#152

Post by studentrob »

DanBC wrote: post #148
studentrob wrote: post #135

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What is the process of talk therapy? Isn't it just asking questions? Did I actually give any advice there? For sure friends are best. But if someone vents online, how are we to know whether this person will go elsewhere or not for support? I'm not offering to take the place of a professional but I wonder if it really hurts to converse with a depressed person online by asking questions. Silence certainly isn't helpful…

> Isn't it just asking questions? Not really. It's really easy to find out how, for example, cognitive behavioural therapy works, and it's not about asking Counselling is just talking (or perhaps "active listening") but the evidence shows that counselling is pretty terrible as a treatment for depression.

Cool, I see some who do CBT promote mindful meditation, particularly for people with severe depression [1].

I think we'd be a better society if this form of treatment were prescribed more often.

[1] https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindfulness-based_cognitive_...

Re: My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine

#153

Post by goshx »

reubenmorais wrote: post #52

I'm fairly sure I'm depressed, but I feel like I have to hide it in order to protect my mom, who is also depressed. She's been dealing with her depression for about five years now, and thanks to software I've been able to support our family for the past three years (I'm 22), which is fantastic for her and my siblings, but at the same time it makes me feel like I have to be an emotional/financial anchor for the family…

I went through the same. I didn't look for help initially because I thought everything was under control and I didn't see what was going on the same way you see now. It didn't take long until I started having panick attacks and my only choice was to look for help. Therapy helps tremendously, so please give it a try as soon as you can.

Re: My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine

#154

Post by thisislame »

_lsjg wrote: post #132
md224 wrote: post #92

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Nobody should have to suffer for even a single year. We really need to improve treatment for depression.

We really need to get rid of stigma of depression and mental illnesses in general. So people can actually get the treatment, not hide how they feel because what others might think.

The stigma of depression and mental illness in society will never abate in a society with a labor surplus, especially one where employers subsidize health care.

Health conditions of all kinds (depression, pregnancy, obesity, etc.) are just another filter condition like bad credit, arrest records, substandard education, etc. that are used to winnow the labor force.

Only in the tech bubble (in the sense of a world temporarily apart) where skilled labor is, at the moment, relatively scarce, are these factors overlooked when hiring for "career" positions.

This sucks, and I hate it, but I'm not blind to reality. In a world where most people work for a living, and where there are fewer jobs than people, having anything "wrong" with oneself is a huge liability.

Re: My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine

#155

Post by gwildor »

some_furry wrote: post #100

I suffered from severe depression for years (to the point that suicide seemed preferable to enduring more failure), and only recently (the past year, really) have managed to stave it off entirely. I didn't do so through the normal approach: Pills and talking about your feelings. I didn't do much of anything, really. * The major sources of stress in my life worked themselves out. (I don't want to go into detail about…

Regarding #3, I feel you. I haven't accepted it yet myself, although it's probably better for my state of mind if I did. Hope can be a damaging thing if it's never met.

Re: My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine

#156

Post by baus »

InclinedPlane wrote: post #94
formula1 wrote: post #60

As someone who has suffered from depression for my entire life I can say the truth sets me free in a lot of ways. My life is a weird struggle between the feeling of hopelessness, paranoia makes me feel like I am worth taking care of and overall confusion of my emotions and what my best path. Today I believe that I am a dog, to be trained as a dog. Find what good things reward me and reward myself for doing good. Avoi…

Are you sure you're not bipolar? I thought I suffered from depression for 20 years until I finally figured out I was actually bipolar. The portrayal of bipolar in the media and the zeitgeist about it are not reflective of what it looks like, or feels like, in reality. More so, the prevalence of "bipolar 2" (depression + hypomania, not full on mania) is much greater than bipolar 1, but poorly understood by the public…

My belief is that the symptoms of bipolar ARE part of your personality. They aren't good or bad, they just are. But you can't let them get the best of you. You have to recognize them and work to negate them.

Re: My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine

#157

Post by nomoredistance »

Skgqie1 wrote: post #142
Skgqie1 wrote: post #141

A lot of these posts seem to glover over the burden that depression is. To everyone, not just the sufferer. I say that as someone who suffers from severe depression, and cares for someone who I honestly believe is dead when I don't hear from them for a week. It's not a glamorous thing (That we all agree on). It is a horrible disease, with no completely effective cure. It can strike multiple times, and has a mortality…

But it didn't help. I still wanted to die. I was so tired. This next statement really sums up what depression has been for me; but no-one seems to "get" it. Getting out of bed, and putting on my pants, was harder than running a half marathon. In a very literal sense. It felt like I was overcoming physical burdens to just function. Routine helped, but I've never "tried" so hard. Emotionally, I was so numb. I got a hug…

thank you for sharing your story. Take care.

Re: My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine

#158

Post by studentrob »

smoyer wrote: post #13

I'm pretty sure that I don't have depression but I've certainly felt "stuck". The responsibility of raising a family can be a heavy load - and a responsible father feels that weight. An irresponsible father doesn't feel the weight and it has little bearing on his decisions. Kudos for being a real dad - you'll imprint important life lessons on your daughters whether you realize it or not. My eldest daughter (almost 23…

Whoa best comment right here! Sorry I know I'm not adding anything substantive. I just think this guy is super friendly.
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