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Can you fundraise in Silicon Valley while pregnant?

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Re: Can you fundraise in Silicon Valley while pregnant?

#91

Post by __abc »

x0x0 wrote: post #83
__abc wrote: post #76

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A metric major fuck ton. If you truly want to be present and have an active role in your child's life, growth, development et al it's going to force your priorities to shuffle around. If your "startup" is still a priority (but not above your child) you aren't going to be in the office from sun up to sun down. Period. You'll have to make up those hours later (when the child is sleeping) however, in months 0-24, that's…

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7779598

Thanks.

I would say I've updated this to state that I am out of the house around 8:30 am now spending even more time with my kids.

I still get up around ~5:30 - 6:00 am, but don't bounce out of the house as early.

Also, my kids are sleeping better now that they are older (and sleeping in) so I need to stay home later to spend quality time with them each morning.

Re: Can you fundraise in Silicon Valley while pregnant?

#92

Post by __abc »

x0x0 wrote: post #83
__abc wrote: post #76

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A metric major fuck ton. If you truly want to be present and have an active role in your child's life, growth, development et al it's going to force your priorities to shuffle around. If your "startup" is still a priority (but not above your child) you aren't going to be in the office from sun up to sun down. Period. You'll have to make up those hours later (when the child is sleeping) however, in months 0-24, that's…

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7779598

Other things I've added is putting my phone on a shelf when I come home and only answering emails after my kids have gone to bed and my wife and I have had some time to hang out.

I also take two lunches a week where I hit the gym and go two additional times (in the evening and once in the morning on the weekends).

My point being, the business I help run is thriving, dates/goals are being met, people are happy, and the world kept turning.

Making my career priority #4 has ultimately made me better at my career. No burnout, better focus and creativity, etc.

I honestly wish I did this when I got into the startup space back in 2004 where if you didn't work ~80 hours a week you were a freak.

Re: Can you fundraise in Silicon Valley while pregnant?

#93

Post by flubert »

rsmsky1 wrote: post #28

This is a serious question as a woman who has never been pregnant and perhaps not that knowledgable about pregnancies. Doesn't giving birth render you incapacitated for a certain period of time even if everything goes well and there's no guarantee after giving birth things will return to normal. Even in cases where one's life isn't at risk, there's a high risk of postpartum depression, etc. It seems very unfair to me…

I see the word "unfair" has been used at least 11 times in this HN discussion so far. I can somewhat understand the sentiment, but I can't also help but wonder if it could ever be unfair that the density of ruthenium is 12.2 g/cm^3, and not some other more convenient value.

Re: Can you fundraise in Silicon Valley while pregnant?

#94

Post by Diamons »

x0x0 wrote: post #85
Diamons wrote: post #81

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A child needs all the nurturing it can get. Choosing to start a company and raise funding while a human being needs you more than it ever will is selfish as well as morally and ethically wrong.

Do you feel the same about the men who do it? Also, historically, lots of kids, particularly of the upper class, were largely raised by nannies and it appears to have worked.

I think women make better caretakers. A father can stay home and be the caretaker, but I think a mother will have a more positive nurturing influence on the child's life if she is there as much as she can be.

If you can afford a nanny, I wouldn't think you'd be raising funding.

Re: Can you fundraise in Silicon Valley while pregnant?

#95

Post by rayiner »

__abc wrote: post #76
rayiner wrote: post #68

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How much time does it take to "raise a baby correctly?" Parenting is heavily driven by cargo culting, old wives' tales, and conventional wisdom; but very little by actual data.

A metric major fuck ton. If you truly want to be present and have an active role in your child's life, growth, development et al it's going to force your priorities to shuffle around. If your "startup" is still a priority (but not above your child) you aren't going to be in the office from sun up to sun down. Period. You'll have to make up those hours later (when the child is sleeping) however, in months 0-24, that's…

> A metric major fuck ton.

[Citation needed]

I don't have have reliable scientific evidence either way, but my speculation is that the vast majority of differences in outcomes between kids can be attributed to: genetics, nutrition, parental wealth, and education (in that order). I've found no reason to believe that "hav[ing] an active role in your child's life" (versus hiring good nannies and teachers to do the same), has much long-term impact on kids. Sometimes, when I'm cynical, I think it's a kind of moralistic conventional wisdom that's mostly perpetuated as a way to keep women "in their place."

Re: Can you fundraise in Silicon Valley while pregnant?

#96

Post by NTDF9 »

mentat wrote: post #86
NTDF9 wrote: post #45

I recently discussed this with my girlfriend. I can only conclude that there are 2 sides to the story, let's call them 2 truths: Truth 1: No individual (regardless of sex) can run a startup as a CEO if they are incapacitated somehow Truth 2: Individuals (regardless of sex) need to prioritize. NOBODY can have it all. With that in mind, women need to understand that: 1. They will be incapacitated if they get pregnant 2…

> A man cannot go become a CEO if he's broke and needs to feed his family Your biases are showing. But really, I'm not sure what you're saying here. People living in partnership with others can raise children AND do other things. This is not "having it all", this is working hard to make your life what you want it to be.

> Your biases are showing.

- As much as we want it, a man can never become pregnant. The woman will have to do the pregnancy part.

- As much as we want it, a pregnant woman can never work at her optimal. The man will have to do the optimal working part.

So, if the partnership desires a kid, it means pregnancy for the woman and for the man to provide stability in those times.

Is this a personal bias or reality?

Re: Can you fundraise in Silicon Valley while pregnant?

#97

Post by CalRobert »

Diamons wrote: post #94
x0x0 wrote: post #85

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Do you feel the same about the men who do it? Also, historically, lots of kids, particularly of the upper class, were largely raised by nannies and it appears to have worked.

I think women make better caretakers. A father can stay home and be the caretaker, but I think a mother will have a more positive nurturing influence on the child's life if she is there as much as she can be. If you can afford a nanny, I wouldn't think you'd be raising funding.

"I think women make better caretakers. A father can stay home and be the caretaker, but I think a mother will have a more positive nurturing influence on the child's life if she is there as much as she can be."

You can think that, but it is most certainly not going to be accepted as fact by the many caretaker fathers out there. Nor, I believe, can you take it for granted that mothers in heterosexual two-parent households assume they are better caretakers than their partners.

Would you argue that a child raised by two fathers is at an inherent disadvantage to one raised by two mothers?

Re: Can you fundraise in Silicon Valley while pregnant?

#98

Post by LoSboccacc »

salgernon wrote: post #88
home_boi wrote: post #82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Females have to face the physical/mental side effects of pregnancy in addition to the complications of child care. Females become the primary care taker at higher rates than males. Primary care takers are less productive and less devoted. This isn't just a coincidence. Females have the choice of having a child while males do not. Males only have the choice to give a female the choice of having a child with the male.…

Then change "it". "It" is a problem, and "it" is wrong. By your logic, before any investment is made a complete health scan of all founders should be completed, including a mental health assay. If a founder gets cancer, should they be fired? They're going to have to take time off to get it removed, followed by months if not years of time lost to chemotherapy. If you replace tumor with baby, and chemotherapy with pedi…

It is a false comparison because having a baby is a choice and largely avoidable.

Maybe it'd be more comparable to a chain smoker who smoked since ten and it's in his fifties.

Getting fired for health related issues is also another false comparison. Here we're talking getting a private investment. Difference is that the first case is already covered by law (and those also cover hiring, as difficult to prove discrimination can be)

Re: Can you fundraise in Silicon Valley while pregnant?

#99

Post by infinite8s »

rayiner wrote: post #95
__abc wrote: post #76

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A metric major fuck ton. If you truly want to be present and have an active role in your child's life, growth, development et al it's going to force your priorities to shuffle around. If your "startup" is still a priority (but not above your child) you aren't going to be in the office from sun up to sun down. Period. You'll have to make up those hours later (when the child is sleeping) however, in months 0-24, that's…

> A metric major fuck ton. [Citation needed] I don't have have reliable scientific evidence either way, but my speculation is that the vast majority of differences in outcomes between kids can be attributed to: genetics, nutrition, parental wealth, and education (in that order). I've found no reason to believe that "hav[ing] an active role in your child's life" (versus hiring good nannies and teachers to do the same)…

I think the key qualifier to "A metric major fuck ton" in the gp comment is the statement immediately afterward: "If you truly want to be present and have an active role in your child's life, growth, development et al it's going to force your priorities to shuffle around."

Of course with sufficient money you can buy excellent replacement care. I would slightly reorder you attribution list, putting parental wealth at the beginning, since that can practically overcome all the rest (especially nutrition and education - genetics is tougher, but short of life-altering conditions money can overcome that too).

Re: Can you fundraise in Silicon Valley while pregnant?

#100

Post by facepalm »

st3v3r wrote: post #70
facepalm wrote: post #56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Would you say it is unnatural to assume that a mother is more likely to be preoccupied with her baby than the father? If the plan is for the father to take over, why not mention it while fundraising? Even so, there is physical strain that is likely to take a toll on the mother, which might cost a few productive months. Breastfeeding might also be an issue, waking the mother several times per night.

Because it's nobody's business what the home life plans are.

What makes you entitled to receiving somebodies money, though? If they feel they want to know about your home life, and you don't want to tell, why should they be obliged to give you money? It's fine if you want to keep it private, but other people have the right to spend their money as they wish, too.
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