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Marriage turns genius off like a tap.

abc.net.au

41–50 of 65 posts

Re: Marriage turns genius off like a tap.

#41
That's really not that surprising. If I feel that nagging 'it would be unhealthy to stay up any later' feeling, staying up and putting in those extra hours just seems less appealing if the alternative is a bed with the warm body of someone who loves you. Guess it's a matter of motivations/priorities.

Alternatively, maybe it just means that, once you have a family, you're less likely to take the risks that are sometimes necessary to produce those genius contributions.

Re: Marriage turns genius off like a tap.

#42
Personally, my productivity went up after me and my wife separated. No kids involved. It was a focus issue with me. I simply could not manage to fully focus on what I was doing when having to deal with another person's constant issues, whether it be this or that. Constantly having to pay attention to someone, having to go along with weekend activities I was not in the least interested in. Now, I love the woman, and we are still husband and wife, but I personally can't handle living with someone and therefore having my life intertwined with another person's life.

Re: Marriage turns genius off like a tap.

#43
post #13
post #4

I've always been the type that in order for me to learn something, I adopt a pet project. It brings context to the concepts. I can remember staying the night at my girlfriend's apartment (she's now my wife). We enjoyed each others company. But when she would fall asleep, I would hop on to her computer and begin working on my own projects. And she use to complain, in fact, get extremely angry that I was up "typing awa…

I had a very similar experience. My wife hits the sack at 11-ish, and I'm up until 3 or 4 working on side projects. It has worked out very well for us. I asked her to read "Hackers and Painters" while we were dating. She did and said that it made her understand why I am the way I am. So, if you're early in a relationship and want her/him to "get it"... I highly recommend the book. I got to personally thank PG for it…

[deleted]

Re: Marriage turns genius off like a tap.

#44
post #35

PG, any thoughts on this? Are you married? And dare I ask, are you celibate? ...No pressure, of course. It's a touchy subject to some. I ask because you're more successful than most of us here, and I know of many people who claim that celibacy is crucial to doing anything great with your life, for whatever your definition of great is. Scientific evidence is hard to come by though, and even still, most people don't se…

I'm not married yet. Engaged though. I wonder if this study controlled for children. From what I've seen, having kids affects people's lives a lot more than getting married.

remember that most of the scientists surveyed lived before effective birth control, when marriage usually led to children.

Re: Marriage turns genius off like a tap.

#45
A few more anecdotal data points:

I had a philosophy teacher who was known for being something of a terror. However, he became a lot more placid after getting married.

A fellow student was very driven, he was on track to becoming a SEAL at one point (changed his mind due to the psychological effects of being a SEAL). However, he too became much more laid back after getting married. He told me that he noticed married people lose their drive.

On the other hand, I had a classics professor who is married with 4 kids, and he is very prolific.

Besides the biological aspects of getting married, I think marriage makes life more emotionally comfortable for people. So, if a person's drive doesn't come from a lack of emotional stability, then they'll remain productive even after becoming married.

Re: Marriage turns genius off like a tap.

#46

The article doesn't say that marriage turns genius off, it says that marriage and _children_ turn it off. BFD My bet is that children alone absolutely destroy productivity and further, that marriage without children would (at least initially) enhance productivity.

Strange as its increased my productivity. Kids do take up a load of time, but its been THE most focusing effect of my life :- 1. Any spare time I have, I work immensely hard - no creativity suites with bean bags for inspiration; no procrastination on which direction I take or how elegant/short my code can be. If it works, its in. 2. My product (or subsequent ones) HAS to succeed. I'm simply working to keep a roof over our heads and now have another mouth to feed. "Necessity is the mother of all invention" a smart chap from across the pond once said. In short - I do not suffer from motivational problems.

Re: Marriage turns genius off like a tap.

#47

Doesn't jive with my experience. A wife and family increaased my drive tremendously. When i was single, I was a slacker mostly interested in partying. I would work just enough for rent and pot. After our first son arrived 5 years ago (unplanned), I realized I had to make up for lost time, and have been extremely productive ever since, finishing my engineering degree, finally getting a "real" job in the industry, and…

Women lurv engineers, there has always been great engineering by married men. The great discoverys come 'out of the blue' by someone essentially sitting around for five or six years thinking about some crazy assed idea like time slowing down the faster you run, that no one would ever think worth while. Until it changes the world.

Re: Marriage turns genius off like a tap.

#49
post #15
post #4

I've always been the type that in order for me to learn something, I adopt a pet project. It brings context to the concepts. I can remember staying the night at my girlfriend's apartment (she's now my wife). We enjoyed each others company. But when she would fall asleep, I would hop on to her computer and begin working on my own projects. And she use to complain, in fact, get extremely angry that I was up "typing awa…

Exact same here. Except in my case, she wins more often than not. She has her ways of making me do things.... Many nights I have stayed awake, looking wantingly at my computer across the room while I hold her, asleep in my arms. No, and there seems to be no reasoning with her on this issue.

Get into the habit of going to sleep with her, but waking up early. Very early. You don't need more than 4-5 hours of sleep, even if you think so. Plus the early hours of the morning (4 o'clock onward) are silent, cool, and your brain is fastest after resting. Best creative hours.

Re: Marriage turns genius off like a tap.

#50
post #8
post #4

I've always been the type that in order for me to learn something, I adopt a pet project. It brings context to the concepts. I can remember staying the night at my girlfriend's apartment (she's now my wife). We enjoyed each others company. But when she would fall asleep, I would hop on to her computer and begin working on my own projects. And she use to complain, in fact, get extremely angry that I was up "typing awa…

1) Einstein ended up getting divorced over his work. Is it worth it? 2) Sex is exhausting. Having it regularly is the real issue.

I don't think 2 is right. Not enough sleep, that is often correlated, is the problem.

We had sex yesterday, and today, before breakfast, I swam 1.5 miles (crawl) in a good time.

You may reply, the sex was boring...

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