This title is very misleading. Flirting connotes a two way interaction. In fact, it isn't flirting until a romantic advance is reciprocated either explicitly or implicitly. This is just hitting on someone.
Valentine's Day Special: Bye Bye Tinder, Flirting in the Support Channel
31–40 of 115 posts
Re: Valentine's Day Special: Bye Bye Tinder, Flirting in the Support Channel
#32Earlier quoted context omitted.
A tragedy played out every day, for sure. I wonder in all that, about the part where she accepts all this attention, letting guys pay for everything. What if she didn't play along? I know, blaming the victim. But the social game is complex, and she is definitely a part of it.
This is her life. She can't stop the guys from hitting on her, short of doing awful things like downplaying her looks or hiding herself away. I wear a suit and tie to work every day. I didn't really understand her position until I started job hunting. I like wearing suits. I own five of them, three are custom made. Now I have to make a decision. Do I wear a suit and tie to my in-person job interviews? Coders seem to…
This. Every guy on the planet should have to understand the deep meaning of this when relating to women.
Re: Valentine's Day Special: Bye Bye Tinder, Flirting in the Support Channel
#33Aww that was so cute, and only a hint of stalking... That whole entry read much creepier than I bet they intended, and might speak to sexism on the web (due to the fact that this is supposed to be a support channel). It would be interesting if they did this experiment with a fictitious "Carl" employee, to see if female users flirted in the same way.
If you want to call it sexism. I have a female friend who gets hit on virtually constantly. She works for AT&T, and has described lines of hopefuls outside her door when she goes into the office. (she now works mostly from home) She never pays for lunch, never pays for dinner. Men offer her free trips to different countries. She really is that attractive. But women who aren't quite that attractive get hit on all the…
> She never pays for lunch, never pays for dinner.
Then she's playing along at least on some level. Accepting gifts while calling them unwanted is disingenuous at best.
Re: Valentine's Day Special: Bye Bye Tinder, Flirting in the Support Channel
#34Subtitle "experiment reveals that organism's behaviour is influenced by most important driver for genetic survival".
Re: Valentine's Day Special: Bye Bye Tinder, Flirting in the Support Channel
#35Earlier quoted context omitted.
A tragedy played out every day, for sure. I wonder in all that, about the part where she accepts all this attention, letting guys pay for everything. What if she didn't play along? I know, blaming the victim. But the social game is complex, and she is definitely a part of it.
This is her life. She can't stop the guys from hitting on her, short of doing awful things like downplaying her looks or hiding herself away. I wear a suit and tie to work every day. I didn't really understand her position until I started job hunting. I like wearing suits. I own five of them, three are custom made. Now I have to make a decision. Do I wear a suit and tie to my in-person job interviews? Coders seem to…
How is downplaying one's looks "awful" or "doing violence to yourself"? When we wear non-practical clothes (e.g. anything besides athletic wear or comfy cargo pants), the entire purpose is to cause other humans to respond to us in a way that we find favorable.
I recently purchased a slim red pants designed to convey a) that I'm a moderately creative type and b) that I have a nice ass. The net result is that I get desirable attention from women I like, but also I get undesirable attention from fat chicks and gays.
I can switch that undesirable attention off anytime I want - I just need to dress like a slob and/or be less careful about having a desirable body (i.e. eat more butter, do fewer exercises aimed at aesthetics, not carefully calibrate my beard). I choose not to because that undesirable attention is a small price to pay for the desirable attention I receive.
Similarly, consider the daily annoyance of recruiters. Who among us would trade recruiters + super hot job market for no recruiters + humanities academic-like desperation for any job at all?
Re: Valentine's Day Special: Bye Bye Tinder, Flirting in the Support Channel
#36Earlier quoted context omitted.
People are sensitive. They snap at the smallest hint that their behavior is wrong. Even if the behavior is only mildly inappropriate.
The problem is that society equates being sexist with being evil or bad, the actions of sexist people as being inherently evil, and the words and opinions of sexist people as dismissable out-of-hand. So when you point out a sexist action the target of your comment interprets that comment as you saying, "You are evil. Your actions are evil and anything you say is not true." The truth is that even well meaning people w…
I don't think that's true at all. In fact, one of the primary complaints I see all the time is that "the patriarchy" implies all men are responsible for whatever the patriarchy is accused of. This isn't actually the case, that abstraction is to avoid what you're alleging: accusing an individual who is not malicious but rather a "victim of the patriarchy."
However, even if your actions are the result of larger forces (patriarchy or otherwise), and not malice, you still need to be held personally responsible at some level. I just don't think we've found what that level is, yet.
Re: Valentine's Day Special: Bye Bye Tinder, Flirting in the Support Channel
#37Subtitle "experiment reveals that organism's behaviour is influenced by most important driver for genetic survival".
They don't like to be reminded that they are organisms. They prefer to be addressed as social constructs only.
Re: Valentine's Day Special: Bye Bye Tinder, Flirting in the Support Channel
#38This is a bit odd. The tone of the post is "isn't this funny" when really it should be "look at the crap that female support staff have to put up with".
"However, this article is meant to be more than a funny background. We were surprised by the amount of flirting that takes place in support channels – and even more by the changes that we’ve seen in the conversation climate once we had finally completed the test and defined all our processes. After replacing Carolin’s image with my name and my photo, people showed more politeness and trusted my advices on a higher level. We just hope that these results are not symptomatic for the IT industry and the support area and that they only appeared in our case."
Re: Valentine's Day Special: Bye Bye Tinder, Flirting in the Support Channel
#39There has to be a guide for support staffs on rejecting unwelcome advances. EG. If the customer compliments your looks then reply with "??". Do not encourage them with a "Thank you."
I think the focus is correct in this blog in telling customers not to attempt advances in the first place. Furthermore, it would be disgusting if the first question out of someone's mouth when staff tells them about unwanted attention is "well maybe you should've followed the guide" or the defense of the perpetrator to be "she didn't follow the guide so I assumed it wasn't unwanted"
Re: Valentine's Day Special: Bye Bye Tinder, Flirting in the Support Channel
#40This is a bit odd. The tone of the post is "isn't this funny" when really it should be "look at the crap that female support staff have to put up with".
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