Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Valentine's Day Special: Bye Bye Tinder, Flirting in the Support Channel

stackfield.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

21–30 of 115 posts

Re: Valentine's Day Special: Bye Bye Tinder, Flirting in the Support Channel

#21

Post by dudifordMann »

untog wrote: post #16
JoeAltmaier wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A tragedy played out every day, for sure. I wonder in all that, about the part where she accepts all this attention, letting guys pay for everything. What if she didn't play along? I know, blaming the victim. But the social game is complex, and she is definitely a part of it.

I've talked to a few girls about this. While some are absolutely just out for all the freebies they can get, others have said that men will get increasingly aggressive when you turn down offers for stuff like that - like they insist on being "a provider" and you turning that down is an insult to their manhood. Seems like a no-win situation all round, really. If you take it, you're encouraging his behaviour (and makin…

"an insult to their manhood." "can literally be dangerous to you."

Is that not indicative of being the product of a sexist environment? A man that cannot accept rejection and therefor feels he has a right to behave in a dangerous way, seems to be a problem with his view of himself, and men as a whole, the world.

Re: Valentine's Day Special: Bye Bye Tinder, Flirting in the Support Channel

#22

Post by vinceguidry »

kelukelugames wrote: post #20
untog wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've talked to a few girls about this. While some are absolutely just out for all the freebies they can get, others have said that men will get increasingly aggressive when you turn down offers for stuff like that - like they insist on being "a provider" and you turning that down is an insult to their manhood. Seems like a no-win situation all round, really. If you take it, you're encouraging his behaviour (and makin…

Media encourages male entitlement. Movies teach us persistence is the key to winning a woman's heart. Remember the cop character from Jessica Jones? He increases courtship aggressively with each rejection. 1. Cop, under mind control, tries to kill Trish Walker. 2. Cop stalks Trish to apologize. 3. Trish is frightened and tell him to leave. 4. Cop continues to stalk. 5. Cop and Trish hook up. Step 5 should be Trish ma…

I wish it were that simple. I'm reading a book on trauma, and it vividly describes the link between fear and sex. We don't really understand how to talk about it publicly, discussions about this tend to devolve into ugly rape fantasy arguments. But it's going to be very difficult to just remove this sort of thing from movies and TV shows. It's too ingrained into our psyches.

Re: Valentine's Day Special: Bye Bye Tinder, Flirting in the Support Channel

#23

Post by untog »

dudifordMann wrote: post #21
untog wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've talked to a few girls about this. While some are absolutely just out for all the freebies they can get, others have said that men will get increasingly aggressive when you turn down offers for stuff like that - like they insist on being "a provider" and you turning that down is an insult to their manhood. Seems like a no-win situation all round, really. If you take it, you're encouraging his behaviour (and makin…

"an insult to their manhood." "can literally be dangerous to you." Is that not indicative of being the product of a sexist environment? A man that cannot accept rejection and therefor feels he has a right to behave in a dangerous way, seems to be a problem with his view of himself, and men as a whole, the world.

Sure. But by and large, the men are not the ones that suffer from the repercussions of this. No doubt that it hurts absolutely everyone involved, though.

Re: Valentine's Day Special: Bye Bye Tinder, Flirting in the Support Channel

#24

Post by kelukelugames »

dmm wrote: post #18
kelukelugames wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

People are sensitive. They snap at the smallest hint that their behavior is wrong. Even if the behavior is only mildly inappropriate.

The problem is that society equates being sexist with being evil or bad, the actions of sexist people as being inherently evil, and the words and opinions of sexist people as dismissable out-of-hand. So when you point out a sexist action the target of your comment interprets that comment as you saying, "You are evil. Your actions are evil and anything you say is not true." The truth is that even well meaning people w…

I also know people who assume malice. They are usually young or have PTSD from dealing with extreme prejudice. The latter is understandable. And the former will stop seeing the world in terms of black and white.

But I think the opposite is true. The recipient of the criticism should be less sensitive. Women know the male ego is fragile. That's why most of the time they don't say anything.

Re: Valentine's Day Special: Bye Bye Tinder, Flirting in the Support Channel

#25

Post by anoonmoose »

AznHisoka wrote: post #2

I wonder if this would had an effect on conversions. Are people more likely to buy a product if the salesperson they're talking to is an attractive woman (or attractive man if the buyer is female)

Only one salesperson in my building has a headshot as part of their email signature...I've been told it has made a noticeable impact on said person's numbers. Anecdote, but, can't call it impossible.

Re: Valentine's Day Special: Bye Bye Tinder, Flirting in the Support Channel

#26

Post by fweespeech »

ascorbic wrote: post #4

This is a bit odd. The tone of the post is "isn't this funny" when really it should be "look at the crap that female support staff have to put up with".

Yeah, I have to agree with you despite the people talking about balance.

Hitting on people at work or while they are in the performance of their work duties is not okay.

Re: Valentine's Day Special: Bye Bye Tinder, Flirting in the Support Channel

#27

Post by lloyd-christmas »

untog wrote: post #14
dkyc wrote: post #5

Hm. Of course it's unprofessional to hit on a support agent, but the way this blog-post is shit-talking about their very own customers (even joking that one of them is probably too poor for champagne because they are on the free-side of their freemium plan) seems absolutely bad to me. Edit: Especially since the product focusses on being " end-to-end-encrypted " and privacy minded, and they just purposely "leak" their…

That's why I'm glad they did this. Tone of the post notwithstanding, it's a great example of the weird sexism that exists online, and I think they deserve credit for showing it, even at the cost of the ego of their own customers.

I don't think it has anything to do with ego. Regardless of how shitty my customer is, I'm not going to display them to the world (barring any related legal actions).

Re: Valentine's Day Special: Bye Bye Tinder, Flirting in the Support Channel

#28

Post by fweespeech »

untog wrote: post #16
JoeAltmaier wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A tragedy played out every day, for sure. I wonder in all that, about the part where she accepts all this attention, letting guys pay for everything. What if she didn't play along? I know, blaming the victim. But the social game is complex, and she is definitely a part of it.

I've talked to a few girls about this. While some are absolutely just out for all the freebies they can get, others have said that men will get increasingly aggressive when you turn down offers for stuff like that - like they insist on being "a provider" and you turning that down is an insult to their manhood. Seems like a no-win situation all round, really. If you take it, you're encouraging his behaviour (and makin…

> Seems like a no-win situation all round, really. If you take it, you're encouraging his behaviour (and making him feel like you're indebted to him). If you reject it you're going to find out how he deals with rejection, which, particularly in drunken scenarios, can literally be dangerous to you.

Yeah. A number of my female friends stay away from bars for that reason.

> I've talked to a few girls about this. While some are absolutely just out for all the freebies they can get, others have said that men will get increasingly aggressive when you turn down offers for stuff like that - like they insist on being "a provider" and you turning that down is an insult to their manhood.

This is really an unhealthy cycle. I don't understand why this is tolerated socially, at all [particularly] in a work environment.

Re: Valentine's Day Special: Bye Bye Tinder, Flirting in the Support Channel

#29

Post by kelukelugames »

vinceguidry wrote: post #22
kelukelugames wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Media encourages male entitlement. Movies teach us persistence is the key to winning a woman's heart. Remember the cop character from Jessica Jones? He increases courtship aggressively with each rejection. 1. Cop, under mind control, tries to kill Trish Walker. 2. Cop stalks Trish to apologize. 3. Trish is frightened and tell him to leave. 4. Cop continues to stalk. 5. Cop and Trish hook up. Step 5 should be Trish ma…

I wish it were that simple. I'm reading a book on trauma, and it vividly describes the link between fear and sex. We don't really understand how to talk about it publicly, discussions about this tend to devolve into ugly rape fantasy arguments. But it's going to be very difficult to just remove this sort of thing from movies and TV shows. It's too ingrained into our psyches.

Are you saying science suggests Trish slept with the cop because she was afraid of him?

Re: Valentine's Day Special: Bye Bye Tinder, Flirting in the Support Channel

#30

Post by ksdale »

vinceguidry wrote: post #11
dudifordMann wrote: post #8

Aww that was so cute, and only a hint of stalking... That whole entry read much creepier than I bet they intended, and might speak to sexism on the web (due to the fact that this is supposed to be a support channel). It would be interesting if they did this experiment with a fictitious "Carl" employee, to see if female users flirted in the same way.

If you want to call it sexism. I have a female friend who gets hit on virtually constantly. She works for AT&T, and has described lines of hopefuls outside her door when she goes into the office. (she now works mostly from home) She never pays for lunch, never pays for dinner. Men offer her free trips to different countries. She really is that attractive. But women who aren't quite that attractive get hit on all the…

This. I worked at a golf course for a summer and all of the other employees were attractive young women and literally every other guy who came into the pro shop attempted to flirt with them. And most of them were older and married and probably didn't intend to seem sleazy, but it didn't take very long for the sheer volume of it to gross me out.
Post reply on HN