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She’ll Text Me, She’ll Text Me Not

nautil.us

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Re: She’ll Text Me, She’ll Text Me Not

#51

Post by greggman »

rtl49 wrote: post #27
greggman wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You are probably right but in general ever since texting became a thing I neve call anyone anymore until after I've texted. I don't mean dates I mean everyone. I know this is not objective, I grew up without texts and used to call people all the time. Now though it just seems rude. I might be interrupting, they might be busy, it might be the worst possible time to call, maybe they're driving, maybe they're in a movie…

I think this approach would reduce one's probability of a successful outcome. It may actually be preferable that the call be somewhat unexpected, because receiving a call, particularly at this point in history, is a bit disarming.

You could be right on that. My feeling is either they're interested or they're not. If they are interesting they'll be happy to hear from me. If they're not I'm not interested in trying to change their mind.

Re: She’ll Text Me, She’ll Text Me Not

#52

Post by dajohnson89 »

kweks wrote: post #12

Is it only me that finds this type of obsessive-compulsive over-thinking somewhat bizarre; yet the author is trying to pass it off as the norm. Perhaps it's the author's fretful nature and over analysis that drives women away? I've found the following 'tactics' have worked quite well: - If you want to send a message, send a message. - If they don't reply, they're busy, or they don't want to speak with you. How is it…

What are you going to say next -- that love is really simple?

Re: She’ll Text Me, She’ll Text Me Not

#53

Post by [deleted] »

rtl49 wrote: post #33
pc86 wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Why wouldn't one just call and avoid all this nonsense? Because if you're trying to take out a 20-something that you've only had passing interaction with, texting is the socially acceptable way to do it. You don't just call.

As such a 20-something, I can attest that this is not universally true.

[deleted]

Re: She’ll Text Me, She’ll Text Me Not

#54

Post by ktxt »

I met about 400+ girls last summer and I became very good at texting.

Rule #1, never get mad or upset at them by text. Ever.

Rule #2, never appear weak or unsure. Never qualify what you say.

Rule #3, girls 99% of the time respond but people get busy. Sometimes I want to respond to a text but I want my mind to be more clear or I get distracted. Or you just don't feel so social. Or you are depressed, sick, busy etc. Some are in school and working. Some have boyfriends.

Sometimes girls don't respond until the next day and occasionally they don't respond at all. But then just wait and in 1 or 2 weeks, send a friendly photo, casually invite them to an invite or say a funny joke or observation.

People get busy and a lack of response means nothing.

Also I like to invite them places or tell them what I am doing. But going out is a lot of energy and money. And some don't like crowds.

So at some point, you should be direct, or ask them on a proper date or what not. But never confide via text how much you like someone, unless you already hooked up.

And sometimes I'll send a dangerous text, like I told this girl to call me whenever she felt like being "dirty" with a bit of provocative language. She did not respond to it. But she responded and I just push forward. Never look back, never apologize (generally speaking).

There is no such thing as a friend zone. You can be just friends but occassionally flirt and don't diminish yourself as a sexual being. Lack confidence? Work out, take a class.

And if you don't look like Brad Pitt or aren't noticeably rich, the girls might not stumble over each other to get to you.

But you can get them. Girls don't know what they want, they are easily persuaded and lazy. (This goes for all people.)

Re: She’ll Text Me, She’ll Text Me Not

#55

Post by ryandrake »

greggman wrote: post #23
rtl49 wrote: post #15

Why wouldn't one just call and avoid all this nonsense? It doesn't eliminate the wiles and ways by which we seek to gain the upper hand in a sapling relationship, but it does introduce a touch of humanity into the exchange which, in addition to being consoling, reduces wasted time and useless stress. A call is an unambiguous yet still unstated expression of continued interest. Is the other party still interested? If…

You are probably right but in general ever since texting became a thing I neve call anyone anymore until after I've texted. I don't mean dates I mean everyone. I know this is not objective, I grew up without texts and used to call people all the time. Now though it just seems rude. I might be interrupting, they might be busy, it might be the worst possible time to call, maybe they're driving, maybe they're in a movie…

If someone texts me and it looks like they are looking for 1. an immediate response 2. that's not either "yes" or "no, then I simply call them. Call me old, but I'm not going to sit there trying to type out War and Peace on a keys measured in millimeters.

I'm not worried about intruding with a "rude" call. If they're texting in a situation where they're expected to be paying attention to something else, then they're already the ones being rude.

Re: She’ll Text Me, She’ll Text Me Not

#56

Post by noobie »

the_af wrote: post #34
k__ wrote: post #10

The best time to search for funding is when you don't need it. The best time to search for a job is when you don't need it. The best time to search for a partner is when you don't need it. I got my current girlfriends after two years of being single and realizing that being single is okay.

Do your current girlfriends know about each other? :P

Asking the real questions are we? Ha!

Re: She’ll Text Me, She’ll Text Me Not

#57

Post by k__ »

the_af wrote: post #34
k__ wrote: post #10

The best time to search for funding is when you don't need it. The best time to search for a job is when you don't need it. The best time to search for a partner is when you don't need it. I got my current girlfriends after two years of being single and realizing that being single is okay.

Do your current girlfriends know about each other? :P

Yes :P

Re: She’ll Text Me, She’ll Text Me Not

#58

Post by noobie »

k__ wrote: post #10

The best time to search for funding is when you don't need it. The best time to search for a job is when you don't need it. The best time to search for a partner is when you don't need it. I got my current girlfriends after two years of being single and realizing that being single is okay.

This is why I "friendzone" all of my female acquaintances at first. We keep in touch, get to know each other, if something happens happens, if not all good.

Re: She’ll Text Me, She’ll Text Me Not

#59

Post by stuxnet79 »

philh wrote: post #36
stuxnet79 wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I used to respond immediately because I'm not a fan of playing games but now I never do, mostly because nobody else does it either. But that is only when I text. I NEVER text these days. I'd rather call. I'm impatient and I'd rather have a short quick conversation than one uncomfortable one that stretches over days. You can easily spot the fakers from the ones who are actually unavailable though. My ex before we brok…

> My ex before we broke up used to take days and days to respond but she was unemployed and had nothing going in her life Not to speak of your ex specifically. But this could just be a case of "shitty at replying to texts", which I also have (in relation to my mother and some of my friends, but not to other friends or my girlfriend). It's not necessarily about being a faker.

Not really, depending on what type of text it was she'd reply instantaneously. Also, honestly in this day and age is it really appropriate to take at minimum 4 days to respond to a question from your "significant other"? That is not normal. Everyone is always on their phone, like she was. In any case, regardless of whether she was faking it or not, it's difficult to maintain a relationship with someone who is always either unavailable or unreliable. Eventually I start to mimic their stiffness despite how well intentioned I may be and how petty I may think my actions are.

Re: She’ll Text Me, She’ll Text Me Not

#60

Post by k__ »

noobie wrote: post #58
k__ wrote: post #10

The best time to search for funding is when you don't need it. The best time to search for a job is when you don't need it. The best time to search for a partner is when you don't need it. I got my current girlfriends after two years of being single and realizing that being single is okay.

This is why I "friendzone" all of my female acquaintances at first. We keep in touch, get to know each other, if something happens happens, if not all good.

Same here.
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