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How People Learn to Become Resilient

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21–28 of 28 posts

Re: How People Learn to Become Resilient

#21
post #13

There is a dark side to the idea of an 'internal locus of control.' It creates a sense that the individual can and should manage the situation, even when the situation is totally unmanageable. I think it's a common problem among high achievers (particularly entrepreneurs), and conversely some 'resilient' people need to accept that there sometimes really IS an external locus of control before their efforts to control…

Good point, it's very important to have balance and be able to adhere to the "And wisdom to know the difference." part. I do think that it is important to have the experience of having too much 'internal locus of control' in order to get a good feel for that.

Or to think that it doesn't matter what happens externally.

Aurelius says something like "How ridiculous and how strange to be surprised by anything that happens in life." As in, why would external events matter or be a surprise? Things happen. The only thing you can control is how you react to them and what you choose to do about them. That helps me at least. It's all about process, not outcomes. Outcome is a roll of the die, so all you can do is make sure your internal processes are sound.

Re: How People Learn to Become Resilient

#23
post #22

What are some recommended books on this topic?

As I said earlier I don't think you can learn it in a book.

A short read : http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2015/01/grit/ ( A Navy SEAL Explains 8 Secrets To Grit And Resilience)

A previous ask HN on this topic but it didn't get many comments : https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=10048402

Re: How People Learn to Become Resilient

#24
post #22

What are some recommended books on this topic?

Brene Brown talks about this a fair bit in her work. I apologize for not remembering which specific book of hers I read that touches on this; there's apparently a new one (which I haven't read yet) that covers the topic specifically.

If you're curious, check out her two TED talks (in order): "the power of vulnerability" and "the power of shame". I'm pretty sure the second one talks a bit about resilience, and the first one sets up some context.

Her books are generally quite excellent as well, and I'll definitely be picking up a copy of Rising Strong to once again complete the library

Re: How People Learn to Become Resilient

#28
post #18
post #16

I like the article and where it is going, though I think the specific recommendations they make only scratches the surface. There are much better techniques that can be learned from some traditional wisdom lineages, shamanic initiations, and esoteric martial art lineages. From my own experiences with Vipassana and other practices, it isn't enough to turn something negative into a positive. If you are not careful, tha…

That is a damn good point. How did you pursue equanimity? Are referring to the Vipassana meditation 10-day course, and if so, how much did it contribute to your overall equanimity?

Hmmm. The word "equanimity" is a noun, so it makes it sound like it's some treasure you can possess and somehow, everything will be magically in equanimity. It's not like that because you enter a state of present moment awareness, which can start surfacing up a lot of crap. It's being OK with the crap -- being OK with being disturbed and uncertain and in anguish and in bliss and a lot of things. For me, it's more that ... things arise and passes, and whatever they are, I see them for what it is. And don't get me wrong, there's still a lot of crap I am working through. Sometimes, I feel like a sewage worker mucking out the endless sewage.

Vipassana is one path to work with this. If you are familiar with it, and you have some combination of curiosity and doubt about it, I highly suggest going with it. For others, their path to this will be different.

From a Taoist alchemy point of view, there is an excessive, energetic toxin directed related to existential misery. It results from our tech. I say this as a person who makes a living writing software tech. So on the side, I've been exploring that to figure out how to reduce the the anguish specifically related to excessive, toxic tech. From a Vipassana perspective, it doesn't matter if it is out of balance. It's seeing that dukkha (existential anguish) Just Is.

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