51–60 of 104 posts
Earlier quoted context omitted.
When I was kid people told me I was smart. I don't think I experienced any of this.
When I was a kid people told me I was smart. I'm almost 30 and _still_ struggle with _exactly_ what GP posted.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
When I was a kid people told me I was smart. I'm almost 30 and _still_ struggle with _exactly_ what GP posted.
Well there ya go, anecdotes both ways. Shall we just declare it a common potential pitfall then?
> I will never forget the day I mentioned to another mother my concern about lack of empathy and kindness among the students, and she told me: “That’s not the school’s job.” Is there nothing left that parents are meant to teach? Or is it all now the school's job? If so, why don't we go full Spartan and take the kids away from the parents right after they're born and have schools teach everything.
You have a group of 19-36 students at home, and the skills to teach positive group dynamics? Lucky you. "That's not the school's job" -- so no one does it. Empathy is a learned skill, and like all such skills, requires practice.
I'm guessing that only children are a lot more common in NYC than elsewhere, though, thanks to the impossibility of affording the kind of living space that people elsewhere take for granted. Perhaps the bitchiness of the kids is attributable to the high prevalence of spoiled only children?
You tell a kid they're smart: You've immediately set them up for long term failure. "Smart" is a quantifiable hard limit. The problem with smart people is that as soon as they run up against a challenge/concept/issue they cannot immediately overcome, they get frustrated, because they "should be smarter than this!" Which often results in avoidable frustration/anxiety/depression. You see this a lot. "Gifted" "smart" ki…
I was told I was gifted at a very young age, and people expected a lot out of me. But by the time I hit 9 years old, I had already convinced myself that school was too easy -- I didn't value my grades at all. I would fail regularly and say "I don't care about a mark on a paper." I barely graduated high school. But the problem here wasn't that I thought I was gifted, it was that I didn't compare myself to my peers at…
Good for the OP. I, like many here, am an old child prodigy. Starting fatherhood 2.5 years ago, I wanted "prodigy" status for my kids too. Lots of ABC's and 123's in the last two years. Yet I'm already sensing that this is the wrong direction. Kids need fun and excitement to grow. They'll all eventually learn their ABC's and far beyond. How far beyond, though, is unrelated to how early they learn their ABC's. Rather…
I, on the other hand, grew up in a family of academics and was able to express myself and make mistakes from time to time. Sometimes I wish I had been pushed harder as a kid, but I think I turned out all right.
When I met the father he remarked at how well-spoken I was and lamented that none of his children communicated as well as I did - the kind of skill that cannot arise when your childhood and adolescence is confined to an intellectually rigid model.
Creativity cannot be dictated.
> I will never forget the day I mentioned to another mother my concern about lack of empathy and kindness among the students, and she told me: “That’s not the school’s job.” Is there nothing left that parents are meant to teach? Or is it all now the school's job? If so, why don't we go full Spartan and take the kids away from the parents right after they're born and have schools teach everything.
You have a group of 19-36 students at home, and the skills to teach positive group dynamics? Lucky you. "That's not the school's job" -- so no one does it. Empathy is a learned skill, and like all such skills, requires practice.
No, but I had friends and social interaction when I was a child, and this social interaction also taught me empathy. It helped to have good, empathetic role models at home too.
> I will never forget the day I mentioned to another mother my concern about lack of empathy and kindness among the students, and she told me: “That’s not the school’s job.” Is there nothing left that parents are meant to teach? Or is it all now the school's job? If so, why don't we go full Spartan and take the kids away from the parents right after they're born and have schools teach everything.
Yes, it is the job of the school to require empathy and kindness of students. Whether or not that is what they learn at home, the kids have to act properly in school, and it's up to the school to make sure that happens.
Progressive schools also attract a large number of children with behavioral problems that have been forced out of all other schools. Most progressive schools are tolerant to a fault and don't have the budget or people-power to plan and prepare for these students. They need their own IEPs and in many cases a para-professional in the classroom with them but their parents are often LOATHE to cover the cost.
TL;DR progressive schools can be tolerant to a fault. Your kid will get hit and screamed at and if they are more academic they will complain to you constantly that their classroom is chaos.
It seems like the optimal learning environment is one where you are a) being taught at the speed and level that is at least in the ballpark of your potential. The reason this is needed is obvious: if you are being taught way beyond your capability you won't learn anything, and it's a disservice to be taught way below your capability as well. b) in the top 50% of your local group of students, for self esteem reasons a…
"b) in the top 50% of your local group of students, for self esteem reasons and also because you'll start to feel like studying and working hard pays off if you seem to be successful in school relative to your peers." So you want to grow up in Lake Wobegone. http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/g/garrisonke137097....