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Former Stanford dean explains why helicopter parenting is ruining a generation

washingtonpost.com

181–190 of 197 posts

Re: Former Stanford dean explains why helicopter parenting is ruining a generation

#182

You know what. Those parents got those kids into Stanford. Obviously helicopter parenting is working for them. 90% of the decisions people make are based on the environments they are in. Today's environment is extremely competitive and the margin for error is lower. Nobody wants to be the parent of the most mentally stable Starbucks Barista... Get them into Stanford, then they have the rest of their life to "fail"

>Nobody wants to be the parent of the most mentally stable Starbucks Barista This is a very American problem and the cause my (20's) generation's unhappiness. No one is happy with just being a stable person. Being a stable person is a great goal. Most people aren't.

I've have worked in the restoration business in Europe and would absolutely hate doing the same jobs in the US. Here, it is tactically accepted that even people that faces the public can have a shitty day, specially if the pay is not-so-great. You know you are not 100%, your clients know it, your boss knows it, but as long as it doesn't become a regular problem, it's ok.

Now, besides having a shitty day, knowing that my pay and lifestyle is in danger if I give the client a less than perfect experience would do nothing good to my mental stability.

Re: Former Stanford dean explains why helicopter parenting is ruining a generation

#183

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Elite schools in the U.S. are more competitive along arbitrary criteria than in Europe. To get into top schools in Europe, it's enough to do better on exams than everyone else. But since the U.S. public education system is so easy and perfect grades don't provide much of a signal, top schools are looking for proof that you're an "interesting person" in a lot of ways that seem a priori to be unrelated to academia.

It's true that the U.S. has a lot more arbitrary criteria, but purely having great exam scores is also a valid strategy. It's just extremely difficult. If you have a 2400 on the SAT and a 4.0, but no extracurriculars or other redeeming qualities, you won't get in everywhere but you'll still get plenty of elite acceptances.

There are more people with perfect scores than seats for them. The SAT iant a hard enough test to distinguish elite students -- it is a high school level math and English test.

Re: Former Stanford dean explains why helicopter parenting is ruining a generation

#184

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Perhaps, following sentiments of Peter Thiel and others, it's not necessary to get into an elite school today, in order to succeed. If it was, then good education and success would still be scarce in today's world, as most people can't afford to go to Harvard, Stanford, etc. Now we have MOOCs an schools can become centers for socializing, tutoring and testing. A great teacher can educate more than 300 people a year t…

The only problem with MOOCS is you can't be an engineer or a medical doctor by only doing the courses you're "interested in". IT is one of the few "fields" where people can get away with a half assed academic background and the end product shows it.

What does the end product show? Doctors kill plenty of patients.

Re: Former Stanford dean explains why helicopter parenting is ruining a generation

#185
post #153

Earlier quoted context omitted.

All areas that are going to be increasingly disrupted by technology and digitalization. So sure for now but this will change.

Signalling and networking and group association and stereotypes are inherently human and have remained the same for the past 6000 years of human history no matter the changes in technology. You can't just throw out contentless buzzword bingo like "disruption" and "technology" and seriously expect anyone to believe it's going to change.

You just have to signal the right way to show other people that you're the right type of person. Hard to explain but if you experiment you can find that this will get you a huge amount of the way.

Re: Former Stanford dean explains why helicopter parenting is ruining a generation

#186
post #183

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's true that the U.S. has a lot more arbitrary criteria, but purely having great exam scores is also a valid strategy. It's just extremely difficult. If you have a 2400 on the SAT and a 4.0, but no extracurriculars or other redeeming qualities, you won't get in everywhere but you'll still get plenty of elite acceptances.

There are more people with perfect scores than seats for them. The SAT iant a hard enough test to distinguish elite students -- it is a high school level math and English test.

> There are more people with perfect scores than seats for them.

Citation needed. Only a few thousand students score perfectly each year, and there are far more than a few thousand students accepted into elite universities each year.

Re: Former Stanford dean explains why helicopter parenting is ruining a generation

#187
post #91

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This. It is like that old adage, "Behind every great man, there is a great woman." For the modern era, it should perhaps now be, "behind every top-tier university student, there is a helicopter parent". It takes so much to get into one of these schools now that it seems impossible for any child without extensive support.

Perhaps, following sentiments of Peter Thiel and others, it's not necessary to get into an elite school today, in order to succeed. If it was, then good education and success would still be scarce in today's world, as most people can't afford to go to Harvard, Stanford, etc. Now we have MOOCs an schools can become centers for socializing, tutoring and testing. A great teacher can educate more than 300 people a year t…

This is a serious misconception. I did the same mistake and never earned a degree. Now despite being successful and earning well most countries will not allow me to immigrate on my own.

And that's just one loss. Complete system is rigged in favor of credentialism than talent.

Re: Former Stanford dean explains why helicopter parenting is ruining a generation

#188
post #164

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Better to be a Harvard dropout (Zuckerberg) than have a CS degree from Humboldt State.

I think Zuckerbergs upbringing has more to do with him as a person rather than the university from which he did not graduate.

His Facebook unicorn success was hugely dependent on the Harvard classmates who hired him to start the project he branched from, his Harvard cofounders, and his Harvard employees. He couldn't have done that at UMichigan.

Re: Former Stanford dean explains why helicopter parenting is ruining a generation

#189

You know what. Those parents got those kids into Stanford. Obviously helicopter parenting is working for them. 90% of the decisions people make are based on the environments they are in. Today's environment is extremely competitive and the margin for error is lower. Nobody wants to be the parent of the most mentally stable Starbucks Barista... Get them into Stanford, then they have the rest of their life to "fail"

I'm always wary of upvoting a comment like this , but being from India and experiencing the difference getting into a good college makes , he has a point. Ofcourse it's not a stark choice between getting into a Stanford and serving coffee at Starbucks but still . And I can't digest the snobbery in saying that a Starbucks worker is devoid of any dignity . But the comment still somehow resonates with me. Perhaps it's a…

It isn't about dignity of the job. It is about health insurance and living wages.

Re: Former Stanford dean explains why helicopter parenting is ruining a generation

#190

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Your knowledge is out of date, I'm afraid. Simply being a geek is no longer sufficient. Teenagers today are competing in a much larger pool of increasingly sophisticated candidates; there's an entire class of businesses dedicated to getting students into colleges.

That's not true. I just went through the college admissions process a few years ago and being a smart and geeky teenager without obsessive parents is still a valid strategy.

What college did you get into?
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