Live data from Hacker News

Former Stanford dean explains why helicopter parenting is ruining a generation

washingtonpost.com

171–180 of 197 posts

Re: Former Stanford dean explains why helicopter parenting is ruining a generation

#171
post #151

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm left wondering why the parent would be compulsed to push the child agressively. Maybe it's a US thing? We are are engineer parents in northern Europe, we try to raise our kids so they remain curious and emotinally fullfilled, we wish every good thing for them - but it's really hard to imagine to go all helicopter on them. If anything, I imagine we will let them make all the right and wrong decisions about their e…

Elite schools in the U.S. are more competitive along arbitrary criteria than in Europe. To get into top schools in Europe, it's enough to do better on exams than everyone else. But since the U.S. public education system is so easy and perfect grades don't provide much of a signal, top schools are looking for proof that you're an "interesting person" in a lot of ways that seem a priori to be unrelated to academia.

It's true that the U.S. has a lot more arbitrary criteria, but purely having great exam scores is also a valid strategy. It's just extremely difficult.

If you have a 2400 on the SAT and a 4.0, but no extracurriculars or other redeeming qualities, you won't get in everywhere but you'll still get plenty of elite acceptances.

Re: Former Stanford dean explains why helicopter parenting is ruining a generation

#172

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No teenager has a passion for SAT prep. I grew up in the generation when no one in my region of the country (the Midwest) had heard of test prep. The students who did best on standardized tests (my friends and I) simply enjoyed reading for fun. Really, it's that simple. Read books and articles that are not assigned by school and that you choose for your own reading pleasure. Students who score high today on standardi…

Your knowledge is out of date, I'm afraid. Simply being a geek is no longer sufficient. Teenagers today are competing in a much larger pool of increasingly sophisticated candidates; there's an entire class of businesses dedicated to getting students into colleges.

That's not true.

I just went through the college admissions process a few years ago and being a smart and geeky teenager without obsessive parents is still a valid strategy.

Re: Former Stanford dean explains why helicopter parenting is ruining a generation

#173

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Better to be a Harvard dropout (Zuckerberg) than have a CS degree from Humboldt State.

Better to win the megabucks than the $5 scratch-off ticket. What's your point? That being an enormous outlier is sometimes a great thing?

Its like law school-its better to graduate from Stanford at the bottom of your class, than from Santa Clara University at the top. Prestige matters.

Re: Former Stanford dean explains why helicopter parenting is ruining a generation

#174

You know what. Those parents got those kids into Stanford. Obviously helicopter parenting is working for them. 90% of the decisions people make are based on the environments they are in. Today's environment is extremely competitive and the margin for error is lower. Nobody wants to be the parent of the most mentally stable Starbucks Barista... Get them into Stanford, then they have the rest of their life to "fail"

>Nobody wants to be the parent of the most mentally stable Starbucks Barista... Get them into Stanford, then they have the rest of their life to "fail"

What a terribly unfortunate conception of "failure" and "success" this mindset represents. One that is all to common, but certainly not the only option.

Re: Former Stanford dean explains why helicopter parenting is ruining a generation

#175
post #153

Earlier quoted context omitted.

All areas that are going to be increasingly disrupted by technology and digitalization. So sure for now but this will change.

Signalling and networking and group association and stereotypes are inherently human and have remained the same for the past 6000 years of human history no matter the changes in technology. You can't just throw out contentless buzzword bingo like "disruption" and "technology" and seriously expect anyone to believe it's going to change.

Thats not the point.

I am talking about when technology makes it obsolete to even have most doctors and lawyers.

Re: Former Stanford dean explains why helicopter parenting is ruining a generation

#176
post #115

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> become a billionaire in 8 years versus go to a state school and work for the billionaires If the only thing that matters in life is how much money you make, this might be relevant. Otherwise, working for those billionaires as a college grad isn't that bad.

Lead, follow, or get out of the way. Nothing wrong with having no ambition, but step to the right so better people can pass you by.

Gross. What a shallow and pathetic way of viewing the world and the people around you.

Re: Former Stanford dean explains why helicopter parenting is ruining a generation

#177
post #147

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Stanford has 27 billionaire alumni. At any given time, there are ~15,000 students studying at Stanford. Getting the top 10 schools for creating billionaires, it accounts for 206 total. (Though this number also includes Cambridge, and I'm not sure if the 11 billionaire alumni from there are part of the same 500ish US billionaires) Out of the 500ish billionaires in the US, nearly 100 of them have no degree at all. So,…

nearly 100 of them have no degree at all. Because many of them dropped/stopped out of Stanford after being accepted. You can ask the same of NYC. How many supreme court justices are from NYC versus Idaho? Location matters. Location changes you. Peers change you. relatively small sample size Outliers can't be analyzed using aggregate methods. Powerlawpeople.

>Because many of them dropped/stopped out of Stanford after being accepted.

Really? There's obviously a few well known cases of this, but I doubt you're looking at any hard data when you make this claim.

>Outliers can't be analyzed using aggregate methods. Powerlawpeople.

Sure you can. When you're comparing 500 billionaires, they're no longer the outliers in the data set. They're the norm for the data set.

Re: Former Stanford dean explains why helicopter parenting is ruining a generation

#178

You know what. Those parents got those kids into Stanford. Obviously helicopter parenting is working for them. 90% of the decisions people make are based on the environments they are in. Today's environment is extremely competitive and the margin for error is lower. Nobody wants to be the parent of the most mentally stable Starbucks Barista... Get them into Stanford, then they have the rest of their life to "fail"

This is so true. However, I don't think it should start after you have children. When I decided to settle down and have children, I only dated very intelligent women based on their profession and if they were in MENSA. At the time when we decided to have children, we took our best eggs and sperm to produce the best genetically intelligent children we could. So, for these "vintage" parents who are just getting their k…

You know what's sad? I can't tell if sarcastic. I could easily see an elitist power couple doing this :(

Re: Former Stanford dean explains why helicopter parenting is ruining a generation

#179

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's never been necessary to go to an elite school to be successful; it's simply much easier to get your foot in the door with employers if you have the words "MIT" or "Stanford" on your resume as opposed to "Coursera" or some random college. Moreover, employers COME TO YOU if you are at these institutions, you don't need to go out and beg for face time.

Depends on the major. I would say in many majors it's work experience that matters. I agree that the first job is easier to get when you're from Stanford, but that's it.

Yes, I agree. I should have specified that I meant the first job.

Re: Former Stanford dean explains why helicopter parenting is ruining a generation

#180
post #153

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Signalling and networking and group association and stereotypes are inherently human and have remained the same for the past 6000 years of human history no matter the changes in technology. You can't just throw out contentless buzzword bingo like "disruption" and "technology" and seriously expect anyone to believe it's going to change.

Thats not the point. I am talking about when technology makes it obsolete to even have most doctors and lawyers.

If that happens, then social status shifts to other fields, and you're back to square one.

Social status will always exist. Life will always be unfair.

Post reply on HN