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Ask HN: Are you ok?

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Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#831

Post by epiphanitus »

Waterluvian wrote: post #376
satokema wrote: post #162

Nth-ing no social life and the related whines. I hate the mild feeling of discomfort I get when I tell most people I'm a software engineer. I hate having eclectic or traditional "nerdy" interests and getting a similar reaction. I've been enjoying Classic, and I have a small online circle for the niche games/music/art I like. I hate that I like these things in spite of the detriment to my social benefit to liking them…

> I hate the mild feeling of discomfort I get when I tell most people I'm a software engineer. When I lived in Waterloo, everyone was a software person or related so it wasn't a problem. But I moved to a small city where almost everyone is a factory worker of some sort for farming or auto industries. When someone asks and I say I'm a software engineer, it usually stops there. Or they'll say something along the lines…

I have a question that is tangentially related to the point you were making, but it's been bugging me lately, so here goes.

Everybody says 'the robots are destroying jobs' but the unemployment rate (in the US at least) is very low right now. If AI is taking all the jobs, how is the unemployment rate so low and the economy booming?

The possibilities I can think of: - AI is creating jobs at the same rate it automates them. The new jobs may not be as good as the old jobs, or perhaps they require people to totally retrain which isn't always feasible. But people need to make a living and they adapt because they have to.

- Lots of people have given up looking for work.

- For the most part, AI is augmenting rather than replacing humans.

- The full impact of AI on our society has yet to be felt, and we should brace ourselves like the rich techies building compounds in New Zealand.

What do you think?

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#832

Post by lazyjones »

Sytten wrote: post #753
lazyjones wrote: post #737

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I continue to live, step over people on my way to work, where I sit and help contribute to climate change, feel the guilt of all of it and wanting to change it but without knowing how. Sorry for being harsh, but please grow up and stop letting other people manipulate you by making you feel guilty about climate, your relative wealth and other things. Focus on making your own life better, leave the current climate ch…

I don't agree with your individualistic vision. This is the exact kind of mindset that brought us to where we are right now. I can tell you politics won't fix climate change, especially if people start to not care at all...

The whole point of having governments is to address issues that affect large groups of people. Personal crusades, based on distorted perception of issues due to anxiety issues, will never yield useful results.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#833

Post by elcomet »

bpchaps wrote: post #690
johnfactorial wrote: post #380

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sorry, didn't mean to sound insulting, my wife and I routinely discuss leaving our programmer jobs to move out into the woods and raise chickens.

Ah sorry. That does sounds relaxing, even in jest. I'm trying to get out of for-profit tech and into the non-profit space to do data/FOIA/investigative work. It's still "tech work" at the end of the day, but without the deep dread of making rich dudes richer.

You can join a research lab as a software engineer, or even start a PhD.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#834

Post by dyadic »

lazyjones wrote: post #832
Sytten wrote: post #753

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't agree with your individualistic vision. This is the exact kind of mindset that brought us to where we are right now. I can tell you politics won't fix climate change, especially if people start to not care at all...

The whole point of having governments is to address issues that affect large groups of people. Personal crusades, based on distorted perception of issues due to anxiety issues, will never yield useful results.

I agree that governments should be addressing these issues, my initial post was mostly about how they are not doing that, and at the same time actively telling us that everything is great.

It's almost like their own measure of success isn't the happiness and wellbeing of their citizens.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#835

Post by adamhepner »

Thanks for asking. I am fine. I've recently changed jobs and now I work from home with occasional travel - and even though it's strenuous, it's much more comfortable. I have flexible hours, fixed pay every month, paid vacations (oh thank gods yes). My kid is gradually getting more social with us (he's almost 3), and spending time with him brings us great joy. We're all healthy, we invest time into our relationship, we do our best to sleep much, exercise, eat well, and it seems to be paying off, which is great, because this time last year we were getting ready to move across border, and soon before the move, we've had a serious health crisis (my wife was hospitalized for 10 day, and got out exactly on the day of the move).

What could be better? Well plenty, of course.

We could be saving money for our own place faster. But we partially use it to enjoy day to day and treat ourselves. I consider it money well spent, regardless of my wife's guilt feeling. We could be spending even more time together. But this is mostly because my wife is currently learning python programming and software testing in order to get back to job hunt. It was a conscious decisions, and her weekend school ends in a couple of weeks anyway. We could be spending more time with our friends. But we're all busy people, and we try to be understanding that it's difficult to find good timeslots.

So, it's all temporary hurdles, not really hardships.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#836

Post by vegancap »

Waterluvian wrote: post #393

I recently experienced months of sleeping problems. Where I wouldn't sleep for days. Or would sleep a few hours. I would be exhausted and my head would hit the pillow and BAM adrenaline and I can hear my heart pounding and I'm awake. It got so bad I would go into the basement and destroy a wall that I kept repairing. I would cry in frustration. I started to have suicidal thoughts. It was harming my marriage and made…

That's psychologically fascinating, it's like your subconscious needed the escapism. You just needed something that wasn't day to day life for just a few hours a day. There's something in that, for sure.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#837

Post by quickthrower2 »

thisismyswamp wrote: post #749
kerkeslager wrote: post #721

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't think I'm really ready to give you the keys to life or anything. I'm happy with where I'm at, but it's certainly not perfect and it wouldn't work for everyone. I'll answer your questions, though. > But how do you make money? I do web development, mostly. I mostly ensure that I have work by undercharging for my services ($80/hour, which is pretty competitive for a Python developer with 10+ years of experience,…

> ($80/hour, which is pretty competitive for a Python developer with 10+ years of experience, 6ish of them in Python) I have this kind of experience, but the most I can make is $50/hour. How do you find high value clients?

This chap (patio11 on hn) has a lot to say about it - https://www.kalzumeus.com/2012/01/23/salary-negotiation/ - and there are other good blog posts by him.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#838

Post by koonsolo »

prawn wrote: post #779
codingstuffs wrote: post #602

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Setting boundaries is something I've never really been good at, and definitely need to work on. Thanks for the advice and encouragement.

There are ways you can do it with deniability built in. Switch off your phone. Then be "visiting family for dinner, out of cell range". Forget your phone under the cushion on the couch. Your nephew was playing loud music and you didn't hear it ring. If the boss says that they need you available for emergencies or whatever, say that your therapist suggested you disconnect in the evenings or you will burn out irreparab…

I think honesty is always the best solution.

Have a talk with your boss and discuss the current situation and how it is not managable. Work out a solution in the short term. What happens next is that your boss will totally not stick up to his end of the agreement, because he will assume you will fix it anyways. But then you stick to yours and let things burn. Then he gets the hard lesson, and you can put the fault in his shoes since it was him who didn't do his part. After that, things should be clear who does what.

In my experience this works, and my empoyers were always very happy to work with me. You don't need to be a pushover to get respect, you just need to do a good professional job. Expecting your employees to be available 24/7 is not profesional, teach him that.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#839

Post by aasasd »

taneq wrote: post #783
eof wrote: post #747

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I believe you tried meditation but I don’t buy the “it doesn’t work for me” That’s like saying exercise doesn’t work for you. Maybe you are going too hard too fast and getting injured or any number of things that make it difficult. But meditation works, even if it’s (like exercise) a difficult habit to pick up.

No. Meditation does not "work for everyone" no matter how hard you no-true-scotsman it and I'm sick and tired of reading this. Source: Dad was massively into all that woo, spent my whole teens trying, even spent a week at an ashram in India. No, meditation is not for everyone.

IMO ‘woo’ and ‘ashram’ is exactly the wrong way to go about mediation, for westerners. I'm automatically revolted by most kinds of spiritual stuff, but people I respect kept saying meditation helps to control the brain's attempts to wind itself up with drama. So finally I found the app ‘Headspace’ where a guy mumbles into my ear, with zero spiritual load and no cheesy music. What it does for me is I relax muscles including those I don't even feel otherwise, and which are all constantly tense due to bad posture. Only then, the mind calms down―tenseness and anxiety are normally in a feedback loop, and I have to break it. Can't relax as deep and fast without the mumble―takes three times as long and still not the same.

Also I don't think that in the teens you feel your bodily and mental states as acutely, at least I didn't until almost thirty―because in youth you're more active and feel alright most of the time. Took me several years of paying attention to my body and mood (before taking up meditation), to learn to recognize when I'm getting worked up for no reason. So yeah, in this sense it's probably not for everyone.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#840

Post by aasasd »

o-__-o wrote: post #628
g0bananas wrote: post #614

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm so glad you have found a calming outlet. I personally find mind-numbingly boring games like color matching or just silly dress-up competition phone games really calming. However, I would still strongly suggest seeing a therapist, or exploring online therapy tools. Escaping with video games is great supplement to a stress-management , and for short term comforts but a strong support system(recognizing and acknowle…

Quirk is no longer free :(

What's Quirk? I don't see it mentioned in the previous comment or in the links (maybe it was edited).
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