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Ask HN: Depression and job

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Re: Ask HN: Depression and job

#71
post #70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm already seeing a therapist and she believes I've lived a weird childhood

Yeah,we all have lol. Something about the critical development period (pre 13)

I've lived abandonment, verbal and physical svuse, bullying and a war :)

Re: Ask HN: Depression and job

#72

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Seconding and thirding the point on getting good sleep: "Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams by Matthew P. Walker" https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/34466963-why-we-sleep "An explosion of scientific discoveries in the last twenty years has shed new light on this fundamental aspect of our lives. Now, preeminent neuroscientist and sleep expert Matthew Walker gives us a new understanding of the vital…

It's difficult to sleep well when depressed. Lately I wake up in panic, with only 3hours of bad sleep

I'd agree it is way easier to say "sleep 7-8 hours straight" than giving some advice on how to achieve it.

I'd recommend:

1. Avoid having dinner 2-3 hours before sleep time

2. Try to sleep/wake at the same 30-minute interval, sleep 11.00pm-11.30pm wake up at 7.00-7-30am

3. Light reading. An easy to read fiction novel. My picks are usually Murakami or Latin American authors.

Routines give stability to people that suffer from a mental illness.

Re: Ask HN: Depression and job

#74
post #61

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think job is good as what my parents would consider a good job.. :(

Do you believe your parents are going to think the same if they get to know that this job is getting you ill? Even if you quit your job or not, you will have to find a solution to your situation, because if you don´t, you are risking getting really really ill.

I talked to them about this, they were like : "well how will you earn money?"

I feel like it has never been about me, but about my achievements. This has fucked up my sense of self.

Re: Ask HN: Depression and job

#75

If you haven't taken time off with vacation days. I suggest you do for at least week to relax. Take a step back to relax and think about yourself. Understand what's going on with your life and important to you. I wouldn't quit yet until after you think about the situation. Open yourself to people close to you. It might be hard, but I am sure they care for you and will listen to what you have to say.

I have opened myself to almost everyone near me.

No one can help but me.

The shame and guilt is deep inside me. It's me who's lost now. They try to be there but still...

Re: Ask HN: Depression and job

#76
post #70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah,we all have lol. Something about the critical development period (pre 13)

I've lived abandonment, verbal and physical svuse, bullying and a war :)

Just don't give up then. In a race what matters is how you finished not how you started.

Re: Ask HN: Depression and job

#77

Hey there, I'm a developer, I live in NYC and speak about this stuff sometimes (baugues.com/depression). If you're in NYC, would be happy to grab coffee next week.

I watched your heartfelt video full of great advice. Thank you for making it.

As one more piece of the puzzle, since you mentioned several times doing you best work at night and it being hard to get up in the morning, I can wonder how much of various stresses for many people may come from perhaps being a night owl in an early-morning lark business culture?

Also in one study, even just one night of missed sleep can lead to bipolar cycling in some people -- discussed by Matthew Walker in his book "Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams".

Re: Ask HN: Depression and job

#78

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Seconding and thirding the point on getting good sleep: "Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams by Matthew P. Walker" https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/34466963-why-we-sleep "An explosion of scientific discoveries in the last twenty years has shed new light on this fundamental aspect of our lives. Now, preeminent neuroscientist and sleep expert Matthew Walker gives us a new understanding of the vital…

It's difficult to sleep well when depressed. Lately I wake up in panic, with only 3hours of bad sleep

True. And as a feedback loop, lack of sleep causes people to be more anxious because the calming part of the brain is too tired to function well.

Good sleep is also needed for the brain to process emotional situations to work through them. Sometimes the situation is so much that we wake up from that. The book on sleep by Matthew Walker has a section on treating PTSD and veterans awaking from bad dreams that they ultimately needed to get through to process their fears.

That book also has some suggestions for getting more and better sleep -- many of which have been mentioned in replies to your post.

They include things like:

* go to bed and wake up at the same time every day

* avoid caffeine from any sources after 2 pm (or depending on your metabolism, earlier or maybe even at all)

* avoid alcohol as it interferes with good sleep

* avoid electronic screens before bedtime

* especially avoid blue LEDs before bedtime (use something like Flux on laptops)

* have the bedroom be cooler at night

* don't stay awake in bed -- get up and go back to bed when you are sleepy to associate bed with sleeping

* avoid exercise or heavy eating for at least a couple of hours before going to sleep

He even suggests setting an alarm as a reminder to tell you when to go to sleep.

Here are some other ideas I collected for moving from depression onto an upward spiral of improvement: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15455259

Of course, it is all easier said than done when you are depressed. Sometimes one small positive step can lead to another though. It helps a lot if you have a supportive community.

Good luck!

P.S. If you decide to change jobs, consider looking at idealist.org and also reading "Disciplined Minds" by Schmidt and "The Three Boxes of Life" by Bolles.

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