I love this wholesome post
Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
631–640 of 1001 posts
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#632Affordable home ownership, shorter work weeks, fund community activities, create more spaces where people can hang out without spending money, subsidise childcare.
Every facet of capitalism is trying to push individualism and consumption
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#633I doubt it's the solution, but a silly program I want to build is something like this: - Give users a modern Tamagotchi - Give the digital pet a need to socialize. - Strap a basic LLM to it so users can talk to their pet. - Have the pet imprint on its owner through repeated socialization. - Owner goes to bed, pet still has social needs, goes out into the digital world to find other pets. - Pet talks to other pets whi…
A thought-provoking vision. There seem many many underexplored opportunities for catalyzing social connections - match making.
When I'm doing "broad and shallow" at a meetup, there are invariably "oh, you'll want to talk with X over there, they ". It can feel tragic to look out at a room of nifty people, in largely desultory conversations, knowing that there are some highly-valued conversations latent there, which won't occur, because our social and cultural and technical collaborative infrastructure still sucks so badly at all this.
In lectures augmented by peer-instruction, addressing the "if you think your lectures are working, your assessment also isn't" problem, one version has students clicker-committing to a question answer, then turning to discuss it with a neighbor, then clickering again. One variant (which you now many not be able to use commercially, because of the failed-startup-to-bigco patent pipeline), has the system chose who everyone turns to (your phone tells you "discuss with the person behind left"), attempting to maximize discussion fruitfulness, using its insight into who is confused about what. So perhaps imagine Tamagotchis as part social liaison - "hey, did you know the gal at the optometry shop here also enjoys heavy bluewater sailing?"
So on the topic question: Want to incentivize greater social contact...? Increase the payoffs.
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#634Why do they feel they can't join any local groups? Fix that.
Because voluntary association isn't really allowed in the United States. You are forced to associate with people you don't want to, for a variety of reasons.
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#635It seems you can't ignore a lot of this is a product of fewer children, temporary and transitional relationships that are not governed by the boundaries of marriage, and fewer intact families. This leads to fewer siblings, fewer responsibilities toward others, and more opportunities to be and feel isolated. There is a reason why the concept of a family protected by certain legal responsibilities and obligations have…
Yeah, life isn't one of those "old single friends living together" sitcoms. Most interaction is with family, anything else is more of a bonus that can't be relied on.
There are also plenty of cultures with family values not rooted in religion.
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#636Earlier quoted context omitted.
> You have to be the one who creates things to do. > You have to do it on a regular cadence. I've posted about this before, but my wife and I sort of accidentally started a trivia team that's been going strong for like four years. Nearly every single week for four years, we get together with some subset of about 15 people. Most the regulars are there most days. I also started cold plunging and have been doing it with…
> I've posted about this before, but my wife and I sort of accidentally started a trivia team that's been going strong for like four years. I looked through your history and can't find it. (And you say "trivial" and "trivially" disproportionately often.) Can you link to it?
Sorry, but that’s hilarious. You’re searching for a keyword I assume?
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#637Earlier quoted context omitted.
I love this but I think you'll be surprised at your success rate. Everyone is struggling with this, not just you. Right on the heels of covid we were debating whether to have a NYE party or just go to a friend's house for a low key thing. We were paralyzed a bit feeling like, why we weren't invited to other parties ourselves? Won't everyone already be busy doing other stuff? In the end my wife took the leap and invit…
In my experience, the problem is not a low success rate, but the burnout from being the only person that invites people to do things. At a certain point you want to see some reciprocation to create community. It can definitely happen, but a lot of folks still fall back on the habits. You have to invite and then also start asking people who's gonna host the next one and get them on the hook, and then not burnout from…
You'll need to get over the idea of this being a shared load.
Every community has one or two people that are "the engine" and constantly keep people reconnecting. Has nothing to do with social media, or Covid - it's always been the case as far as I can think back (and that's the early 80's)
Yes, you can push and prod people to occasionally host, but that's also a ton of work.
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#638Rely on someone that is social or be that person to organize things.
I’m ultra depressed so I have just been relying on others.
You know the people that are the most lonely? Old widows/widowers that spend too much time in their houses.
Luckily I’m an introvert. But, even if you are, you should get out and do something.
Your health and mental wellness depend on socializing IRL.
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#639Earlier quoted context omitted.
I think the trick is getting off social media. When I was a computer nerd in the 2000s, I noticed people used to like to hang around and chat, but I mostly didn't. Now, everyone is an internet addict, and I was just ahead of the curve. No one hangs around and chats anymore. When you get off social media, real life becomes far more interesting. The problem with addiction is that it's so stimulating that everything els…
> I was just ahead of the curve. I can relate to this. I was always moderately extroverted and sociable, but the irony has never ceased to flabbergast me that the very behaviours and interests for which nerds like me would have been stuffed into lockers and garbage cans (if I had dared to tell anyone in school that I was into computers) became, only a decade later, de rigueur for every young person. I remember sittin…
Hah! I had a very similar thought enter mind recently. I used to get shamed for being on screens too much, now the situation seems to have flipped. Who's the nerd now??
Also just an aside - I love your writing style.
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#640You have to be the one who creates things to do. Really, that’s it. You want to play D&D together, you host and DM. You want to just hang out, you reach out and propose what you’re doing. You want more purposeful and meaningful time, join a volunteer group you vibe with. Even if it’s meeting for coffee. You have to be the one who reaches out. You have to do it on a regular cadence. If, like me, you don’t have little…
Personal solutions to systemic problems are not solutions. Yours is great advice for the few people able to take it to heart, find the motivation, and succeed, but you cannot solve societal problems at any kind of scale this way.