This statement is based on a surface level (if that) understanding of Christianity. Machiavelli and Dostoevsky aside, whose criticisms are somewhat deeper but still misguided, there are many thinkers who question the existence of God but acknowledge the benefits of a God-centered society.
> God-centered society Need not be Christian.
You're right.
But society where the basis has a liberal perspective, individual sovereignty is held in the highest regard, private property is protected, and the nuclear family is the underpinning of it, I'm okay with. Judeo-Christian societies have this, and maybe aside from Sikhs and some Buddhist sects I don't know of any other religion that does this.
1. This will be tough. That doesn't mean you are doing it wrong. 2. Growth is proportional to your willingness to be uncomfortable. 3. Meds can work wonders, AND you can still be depressed. Medicine resolve biological depression. It doesn't resolve situational depression. 4. You will likely go through the stages of grief as you grieve this change. One of those stages is sadness. Again, that's okay. You will grow so m…
Before considering medication for mental health, I have to wheel out the usual old advice: sometimes it can be as simple as diet and exercise. The fundamentals really should not be overlooked when thinking about any medication for long term care. I found out my anxiety symptoms were actually caused by my A1C being in diabetic territory (8%). High blood glucose has a direct impact on the brain and blood vessels. Rando…
Great work!
I went on a fiber tear, and it helped with my A1C. Chia seeds and lentils ftw!
Start a journal. Use a text editor, Word, Google Docs, or pen and paper. Whatever suits you. Just write whatever interests you or consumes you. Don't worry about reading it back. Try to write 2-3 times a week until you can get to near-daily practice. Over time, you'll find yourself beyond who you thought you were with your partner. i got divorced after 9 years of marriage at about the same age. It's 15 years later and I am alone and loving it. Of course, I am an extreme introvert. Social, but highly sensitive to disruption. I would never have survived without journaling. I learned to become my own best friend. I learned to feel emotions, but not let them control me. I am more resilient now than I have ever been. Also, read Montaigne. He wrote at the end of the 15th Century. With a few minor gendered habits and patterns of the time, Montaigne writes like a contemporary essayists. Without trying, you will find a lot of common sense observations. He will become a friend. It feels like suffocating now, but take time to breathe every day. It will seem like it takes forever. Administer to yourself. Another read, although far rougher is The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression by Amdrew Solomon. It's easy to read, but hard to feel the weight of Andrew and others perspectives. It can help you feel seen and heard. Start with the initial New Yorker article and then decide on the book. https://archive.ph/eMloR Above all, don't search for advice. Take these posts as encouragment that it does get better. We all have general similarities, but knowing the shape and texture of your perspective will help you develop an inner core you can rely on. You can make it. I did. Take it day by day. Touch grass. Touch fur. And find ways to connect in person and in conversation. Hang in there.
I would NOT recommend dating apps, you will most likely not find a real connection there and given the circumstances it might give you anxiety you don't need. I have had a similar path and situation lately and some things that have helped me are group activities like playing sports (I play soccer), group gym activities (I attend a strength and conditioning class) and most recently Bible study (I became friends with a…
Coming from a moderate muslim family, my life actually got a huge upgrade when I realised God doesn't exist (at least the way religions describe it).
Regarding organized religion, a quote attributed to Diderot [0] goes as follows:
Le genere humain ne sera heureux et libre que quand on aura étranglé le dernier roi avec les boyaux du dernier prêtre.
Or, in plain English:
Man will be happy and free only when the last king has been strangled with the entrails of the last priest.
However, I like to complete it with a quote from Voltaire [1]:
L'univers m'embarrasse, et je ne puis songer - Que cette horloge existe et n'ait point d'horloger
Or, in plain English:
The universe baffles me, and I cannot conceive - That this clock exists, yet has no clockmaker.
To get things out of the way: yes it is hard being alone. But it is also hard to be with someone and is very hard to take care of kids and family and such. And it is waaay harder to be with wrong person. There are no easy roads in life and being single is one of the easiest. Now I’ll focus on practical advise: - gym every day. No excuses. If you don’t know what to do or lack motivation- get a personal trainer. - besi…
- gym every day. No excuses. If you don’t know what to do or lack motivation- get a personal trainer. Do you people even go to the gym at all? You need time to recover. Between 3 to 5 days is the most you can humanly do. And that's if you vary your exercises as suggested by a (good) personal trainer. Any more than that and you're just asking for overtraining syndrome. Doubly so if you're nearly 40. Edit: after seeing…
Working out isn't that difficult i have been doing it for 11 years, You'll learn only if you get regular. It's a skill like any another. At start go gradual and do less and with time you can workout every single day without over training. Key is that you learn to listen to your body and train accordingly.
This seems more or less my story... I had a 10-year relationship and lived together, and now I've been alone for almost two years... I understand very well how you can feel lost sometimes, or have negative thoughts like having wasted so much of your youth with the wrong person. In reality, those journeys together and this one you'll have to do alone for now are always useful for learning different things... Remote working in this sense doesn't help you have new opportunities. I think one of the few things that doesn't make me feel isolated at all is being able to talk to neighbors, and by randomly taking the dog down, you can have a minimum of conversation. I try to see the few friends I have left and try to focus on my work and also cultivate hobbies or try to learn new things. I don't actually think it's good for me to be single for long, and I think if it's hard for you too, the only advice I can give you is to find time to go out, to cultivate that time so you can meet new people, in the hope of even starting a friendship... I know it's not always easy, or that we want to do it, especially because investing your life for a long time in a relationship that then breaks up is truly like mourning, I think. Everyone has their own time, but you also have to give yourself the chance to find happiness again, with other people. I can tell you that after two years, I still have feelings for my ex-partner, but I know that life goes on, and we must give ourselves the chance to find other paths to happiness and serenity.
first ，stop telling story to yourself its a prison，second，treat this as a new chapter and accept the building adjustment，third，stop characterizing your self to a stable，static statue，instead，let it flow. last, don’t escape , don’t try to fix or solve anything, all such self talk points to same underlying thing - it’s a problem. No, it’s not, it’s a status. More intention of fixing it, more problems you would sense. no many suggestions，we carrying something while building something.
Edit to add few experiences.
I travelled alone and also travelled with my once-deeply loved boyfriend. I travelled for 11 days to other countries. I had most romantic days with that boyfriend in the travel, i took the travel alone as some evidence that I could live without him. And in that single journey, I met guys and had a few deep conversations with each one. I saw views I ignored when i was with him.
In the single journey, it’s still beautiful. Sense them, allow them.
gym everyday: I found great success with Pilates. It's usually me + 2-3 other people and the instructor. There's chatting during the session after you become regular. You get to have some social life while exercising. It also helps tremendously with posture, specially for someone who spends all his day in a chair. It's still hard to do sometimes, like in stronger depressive episodes. But it's way easier than gym at l…
It really surprises me how entrenched the idea of “gym” is in everyone’s mind. For me Pilates studio is a gym too. Maybe this is a “transcontinental” thing?
It's probably very cultural thing. I understand how one can consider a studio and a gym to be the same, but around my area the studios are very different from gyms.
For me, the gym has a gym energy, kinda intimidating. There's lots of people and everyone is wearing hadphones, you don't know where to look at, you have to wait for equipment, share equipment, etc. I don't like personally.