Maybe social media just meets their social needs. Maybe this is not a problem that needs to be solved, this is just the way things are now.
Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
521–530 of 1001 posts
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#522Not for everyone but if you can, get a dog. Dogs are icebreakers. People like to meet a cute dog. They won't know your name at first but you will be "Fido's Dad" or "Dave's Mom". Other dog owners will greet you and so long as your dogs don't hate each other you already have something in common. A dog gives you a reason to be wherever you want to be - take a walk around the neighborhood or to the park. You're not a ra…
Anecdotally, I've had a lot of people in my life recede after getting pets. They're an excellent excuse to say no to things that you might otherwise do, because you need to get home and take care of the pet or you can't find a sitter to go on a trip etc. Not generalizing to all people, but I think for some a pet can reinforce anti-social tendencies.
Dogs are a bit like having kids, if you embrace it. They make it tougher to do extended trips (e.g. foreign countries), but you can develop an entire social network through them. Doing dog-related trips is a new world of opportunities. I did a three night stay across the state with a bunch of my dog park friends a few years ago. Hikes with the dogs during the day, beer and board games every evening.
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#523i always thought I had avoided this issue. then i moved to a new town. starting with zero friends in a new town, with very little in place as far as shows, groups, etc, it seems quite a bit harder than it was 20 years ago. meetup used to work but it has become a cesspool of zoom calls and pay meetings. i wish i knew a really good answer (and i dont drink so bars dont have the appeal. by the time i get off of work coffee shops are closed)
i love people and do not want to be alone.
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#524Earlier quoted context omitted.
I've been trying to do this. One thing I've observed is trying to arrange people to play board games is quite difficult because you can't predict how many people will show up. People get sick, misread the times, etc. And a lot of games are very sensitive to player count, so having 2 people too few or too many has the ability to make the game somewhat unplayable or risk people sitting out watching. Easier to just host…
A friend of mine has this problem with their D&D campaigns. He makes huge efforts and there’s always one or two people who flake or don’t have the same commitment level. He’s gotten quite angry and sad about it. He is trying something different now, to make a hybrid campaign where there’s a lot of one-shots in a broader story arc. It’s structured like missions in an ongoing struggle. Maybe if you want to do board gam…
Tell your friend to look up the Western Reaches style of play. One of the core ideas is that you begin and end each session in a safe zone so that you can have a rotating pool of adventurers. You can tuck in some rules for having mercenaries for when you have fewer than the encounters are balanced for and you’re off to the races.
It does reduce the possibility of highly on rails campaigns and instead requires more of a sandbox plan with one page dungeons and stuff. Even so, it seems made to solve this exact problem.
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#525Communities, in-real-life communities.
Dancing, knitting, cooking, sports, gardening, board games. Which activity is secondary, what is crucial is that people can come (no matter if they feel great or not), can bring friends, with low pressure (so they can sit and talk, no need to actually dance, cook or so).
Regularity is crucial - weekly are the best.
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#526[deleted]
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#527If you identify with that problem, and you want to solve it, and you are open to advice... Go to church, and be intentional to connect. Find a bible study, fellowship group, volunteer opportunity, or prayer meeting. Sit at church on Sunday with somebody from the bible study. Get lunch with one of those people. Find somebody at church who shares a hobby. Do your hobby together. You have to put in the effort. Growth is…
[deleted]
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#528Spending time in parts of Latin America or western Europe or east Asia and then coming back to the US, you can see a lot of ways in which we've built loneliness into the fabric of US culture. It goes beyond car culture. It's probably illegal to build a cafe within walking distance of your neighborhood or into the first floor of your apartment complex. Americans get an idea of how bad we have it when we go on vacation…
> or into the first floor of your apartment complex. I wouldn't trust a cafe built into an apartment complex. I'd expect it to be low-quality, over-priced food placed specifically to try and make a quick buck off people who don't know any better or who physically can't get somewhere better. You're right that it goes beyond car culture (and zoning laws are part of car culture), but I think it also goes beyond zoning l…
I’m literally surrounded by these shops, as is anyone in any town that doesn’t depend on suburbia. It’s *wonderful* and the prices are good.
I’m eating a whole dinner for about $10 tonight, out. Easily like 1300 calories of very delicious food.
In the PNW.
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#529You have to be the one who creates things to do. Really, that’s it. You want to play D&D together, you host and DM. You want to just hang out, you reach out and propose what you’re doing. You want more purposeful and meaningful time, join a volunteer group you vibe with. Even if it’s meeting for coffee. You have to be the one who reaches out. You have to do it on a regular cadence. If, like me, you don’t have little…
this!
when i am in this mood my mantra becomes, "be an instigator".
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#530If you're a programmer you should do everything to make the internet something you must sit down to use not something that follows you everywhere. The last 25 years of tech "progress" must be unmade.