51–60 of 74 posts
We married in 2015 and we have a kid on the way :)
What works? I guess it's different for everyone. If I was giving advice I'd say look above all for genuine loving kindness and compassion - that will take things a long way. Way above looks, money, and it pretty much trumps everything else. Look for someone who is not quick to anger and forgives easily. Looks for common interests - even if they sound a bit silly: bird-watching, love of nature, love of diving, a nice walk together, the same TV shows.
Traits to avoid: neurotic, OCD, control freak, passive-agressive, sulker, fails to compromise or meet you half way on anything, lazy.
Pro tip: live together before you get married. People are good at hiding who they really are. Live together and the facade falls pretty quickly.
p.s. there is always some compromise.
p.p.s. Your belief that if you just "do the right thing" it will work out come what may will probably lead to disappointment - it always takes two to tango.
Good luck!!!!
Met through common interest in scuba diving. Ten years together now, and will be together until RIP - 150% sure of it. She is the best thing that ever happened to me and I would be lost without her. What works? I guess it's different for everyone. If I was giving advice I'd say look above all for genuine loving kindness and compassion - that will take things a long way. Way above looks, money, and it pretty much trum…
We met online, in 1984. We were in college and she posted on USENET making a reference to the Foundation series. It was obvious.
She's not my spouse yet, but will be soon enough, assuming she says yes. We were developers together at a previous job.
She took the obligatory programming classes in college but ended up with a degree in Phycology. Didn't do much with it, ended up being an office manager for a decade or so. Went back to school to be a Dental Hygienist and has been doing that for about 2 years now. Top of her class both times.
We bicker all the time; you couldn't find 2 more different people but I'm not sure I could ever be with someone else :)
If you're serious, an Engagement Encounter weekend could be a huge help. These are intense retreats formatted for 1:1 conversations, couples are coached/counseled to discuss and explore a ton of life topics. The retreat my fiancé (now wife of 14 years) and I attended was sponsored by the Catholic Church. (By the way, they welcomed individuals of all faith traditions and weren't overly preachy.) It's rare anymore that people have the time & space to really talk and share deeply. Can't recommend enough, especially if you have doubts. Many couples I know shared similar experience. > http://www.engagedencounter.org/
I met my wife on match.com After using at least 5 different dating sites over a 10 year period, one of them finally paid off. for all the single guys out there, looking for a GF, here's the strategy. Write a script to copy and paste an intro paragraph and message (make sure to customize it to the profile) every girl you can possibly find, that meets your requirements. It's just a numbers game, the more you play the l…
Would you call it inherently better than bar-hopping? Dating services just seem like a huge slog so far...
First, there needs to be a system where all single people who are looking for a real relationship (not a hookup) are on it. The system needs to know the top 5 traits a potential partner should have, as well as when you're likely to be free. Then the system automates the rest and sends you, via text, out for a coffee/drink. The rest is up to how you jive together and it may or may not lead to something more.
There'd have to be some ML involved to capture the physical attributes you would prefer in a partner so that you never meet someone you're likely to be unattracted to (depending on how much looks matter to you), but the general idea is to have a enormous localized userbase, and pretty much automate the rest. No more slogging.