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Ask HN: How to be alone?

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Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?

#461

Post by k6hkUZtLUM »

noosphr wrote: post #368
rfc3092 wrote: post #248

To get things out of the way: yes it is hard being alone. But it is also hard to be with someone and is very hard to take care of kids and family and such. And it is waaay harder to be with wrong person. There are no easy roads in life and being single is one of the easiest. Now I’ll focus on practical advise: - gym every day. No excuses. If you don’t know what to do or lack motivation- get a personal trainer. - besi…

- gym every day. No excuses. If you don’t know what to do or lack motivation- get a personal trainer. Do you people even go to the gym at all? You need time to recover. Between 3 to 5 days is the most you can humanly do. And that's if you vary your exercises as suggested by a (good) personal trainer. Any more than that and you're just asking for overtraining syndrome. Doubly so if you're nearly 40. Edit: after seeing…

One could easily take yoga or Zumba 2-3 times a week. Lift some weights 1 day a week and use the treadmill any day you aren't out walking around. No injuries on that schedule.

Every gym I see in socal is always busy. Bonus, you start to see "regulars" and have someone to say hello to.

Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?

#462

Post by eloisant »

63stack wrote: post #393
noosphr wrote: post #368

Earlier quoted context omitted.

- gym every day. No excuses. If you don’t know what to do or lack motivation- get a personal trainer. Do you people even go to the gym at all? You need time to recover. Between 3 to 5 days is the most you can humanly do. And that's if you vary your exercises as suggested by a (good) personal trainer. Any more than that and you're just asking for overtraining syndrome. Doubly so if you're nearly 40. Edit: after seeing…

I was wondering the same thing. It already takes a very high level of motivation and self discipline to go 3 times a week, going every day requires superhuman levels to so consistently. This doesn't take into account that your body requires rest, and I don't know how op thinks you can combine this with an active sport like skiing, or something creative like music. You will be drained already from the gym.

It's not just about motivation and self discipline, but your body needs recovery days.

Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?

#463

Post by butILoveLife »

noosphr wrote: post #368
rfc3092 wrote: post #248

To get things out of the way: yes it is hard being alone. But it is also hard to be with someone and is very hard to take care of kids and family and such. And it is waaay harder to be with wrong person. There are no easy roads in life and being single is one of the easiest. Now I’ll focus on practical advise: - gym every day. No excuses. If you don’t know what to do or lack motivation- get a personal trainer. - besi…

- gym every day. No excuses. If you don’t know what to do or lack motivation- get a personal trainer. Do you people even go to the gym at all? You need time to recover. Between 3 to 5 days is the most you can humanly do. And that's if you vary your exercises as suggested by a (good) personal trainer. Any more than that and you're just asking for overtraining syndrome. Doubly so if you're nearly 40. Edit: after seeing…

I actually like doing overtraining in bursts. Hit gym 1-2x per day for a few weeks, supersets and drop sets. I get gigantic.

But then I do a cut, and maintain, its only like 20 minutes lifting per week.

Anyway, you are basically repeating broscience. Or maybe after lifting for 14 years, I can handle it.

But also, you can do cardio everyday, that said, I only do 1 hard cardio day per week.

Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?

#464

Post by butILoveLife »

dzink wrote: post #289

People remember your kindness. That’s it. I’ve had several senior neighbours who passed away, after decades of living alone. We’ve always helped each other in one way or another and when they passed, in all cases I thought back about the last time we talked. In all cases the conversations remembered involved kindness. Either from then to us or from us to them and them being grateful. It’s what remains. Giving kindnes…

My life experiences run counter to this. However, if other people sacrifice themselves for me, I get to be happy. Sooo keep on spreading this message.

thxxxx

Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?

#465

Post by brodouevencode »

butILoveLife wrote: post #454
drojas wrote: post #450

I would NOT recommend dating apps, you will most likely not find a real connection there and given the circumstances it might give you anxiety you don't need. I have had a similar path and situation lately and some things that have helped me are group activities like playing sports (I play soccer), group gym activities (I attend a strength and conditioning class) and most recently Bible study (I became friends with a…

The God thing is only temporary though. At some point you will seek Truth and the world will collapse on you.. Not only will you have an existential crisis, but your friend group will begin to shy away from you. But otherwise I basically agree. I think God is great for you in the psychological short term. Machiavelli to Dostoevsky agree.

This statement is based on a surface level (if that) understanding of Christianity. Machiavelli and Dostoevsky aside, whose criticisms are somewhat deeper but still misguided, there are many thinkers who question the existence of God but acknowledge the benefits of a God-centered society.

Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?

#466

Post by raducu »

63stack wrote: post #393
noosphr wrote: post #368

Earlier quoted context omitted.

- gym every day. No excuses. If you don’t know what to do or lack motivation- get a personal trainer. Do you people even go to the gym at all? You need time to recover. Between 3 to 5 days is the most you can humanly do. And that's if you vary your exercises as suggested by a (good) personal trainer. Any more than that and you're just asking for overtraining syndrome. Doubly so if you're nearly 40. Edit: after seeing…

I was wondering the same thing. It already takes a very high level of motivation and self discipline to go 3 times a week, going every day requires superhuman levels to so consistently. This doesn't take into account that your body requires rest, and I don't know how op thinks you can combine this with an active sport like skiing, or something creative like music. You will be drained already from the gym.

>high level of motivation and self discipline to go 3 times a week.

I don't really have the time for gym but going feels so good so I can see why someone who does have the time might go 7 days a week.

Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?

#467

Post by butILoveLife »

johanvts wrote: post #434
robeym wrote: post #413

It's not good for us to be completely alone. We are social beings, and community is part of who we are. We search for truth in relationships, politics, games, drugs, anything. We search to the end of ourselves but end up with the same emptiness and questions. The truth, wholeness, community, and love we need and seek is often in the place we're too afraid to look - the Christian church. Even if you're not religious,…

The Christian church has nothing to do with truth. Sure it might offer community, but it is a community based on dogma, on faith, not truth. Why was humanity banished from the garden? For eating from the tree of knowledge. Join a Promethean cult if you can find it OP.

Weirdly enough, the Christian search for truth is what got me to agnosticism.

They told me to seek truth, it was what God wanted... Oops.

Literally read too much.

Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?

#468

Post by [deleted] »

johanvts wrote: post #434
robeym wrote: post #413

It's not good for us to be completely alone. We are social beings, and community is part of who we are. We search for truth in relationships, politics, games, drugs, anything. We search to the end of ourselves but end up with the same emptiness and questions. The truth, wholeness, community, and love we need and seek is often in the place we're too afraid to look - the Christian church. Even if you're not religious,…

The Christian church has nothing to do with truth. Sure it might offer community, but it is a community based on dogma, on faith, not truth. Why was humanity banished from the garden? For eating from the tree of knowledge. Join a Promethean cult if you can find it OP.

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?

#469

Post by nlavezzo »

butILoveLife wrote: post #454
drojas wrote: post #450

I would NOT recommend dating apps, you will most likely not find a real connection there and given the circumstances it might give you anxiety you don't need. I have had a similar path and situation lately and some things that have helped me are group activities like playing sports (I play soccer), group gym activities (I attend a strength and conditioning class) and most recently Bible study (I became friends with a…

The God thing is only temporary though. At some point you will seek Truth and the world will collapse on you.. Not only will you have an existential crisis, but your friend group will begin to shy away from you. But otherwise I basically agree. I think God is great for you in the psychological short term. Machiavelli to Dostoevsky agree.

I'd strongly disagree with this. Since becoming serious about my faith as a 15 year old from a non-christian background, my life and my friend group has gotten progressively better. I had an existential crisis that helped bring me to faith - basically what is the point of anything if there's nothing beyond this world of matter? I've not had one since, as I don't believe this world of matter is all there is.

Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?

#470

Post by [deleted] »

greekrich92 wrote: post #422
robeym wrote: post #413

It's not good for us to be completely alone. We are social beings, and community is part of who we are. We search for truth in relationships, politics, games, drugs, anything. We search to the end of ourselves but end up with the same emptiness and questions. The truth, wholeness, community, and love we need and seek is often in the place we're too afraid to look - the Christian church. Even if you're not religious,…

If OP finds this compelling, please consider a Quaker church to avoid the dogmatic and political baggage. Or perhaps a Unitarian church or Buddhist temple.

[deleted]
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