261–270 of 357 posts
Earlier quoted context omitted.
ACE seems to be 10 questions where you get a point for every yes, to assess childhood trauma. A 10 is the max and a 0 is the min. Based on the questions, any score above 0 indicates some level of real trauma.
Did you respond to the wrong comment? My question was trying to expand on what the linked article already says.
It looked like you were associating ACE with a gifted indication. My mistake.
After I birthed my first kid in my early 30s at the start of the pandemic, my struggles with depression and anxiety seemingly vanished.
I've always been very risk averse, so I fear I'll never be able to start a startup or something like that. It's always sounded fun. Now that I'm very stable and well, and ok financially (the house cost way more than I'd like)... it still feels too risky for me to leave my normal job. Maybe I'll try in my 40s...
This is the first time I've heard of an ACE score; I had to look up what it stood for: https://www.christineortollcharity.org/post/adverse-childhoo... I suspect I'm not the only one here in this boat.
My first time hearing of it too, am ACE 10. In my mid 40s and have been having an increasing desiring for no particular reason to unpack some baggage. I think I’ve done ok in life generally, much better than the course my childhood put me on, but I think I’ve suppressed a lot of stuff and ultimately is starting to wear me down. Most notably, I just feel like a fraud a lot of times. My peers talk about how they did st…
Similar thing with ADHD, also with sleep apnea (severe, 79 AHI, untreated till final year of college, which made things much better :)). Probably autistic, if you ask anyone close to me, I keep meaning to get evaluated for it (see ADHD).
But yeah, I have done a lot of awesome stuff over the years, despite a lot of my trauma sources remaining into my post childhood years.
Some of those folks have died, others I've since cut off. I am thankful for some close friends who I think of as family.
I've always been an exercise person, which I think is partially to regulate my emotions / depression. It mostly works, but I still take Sertraline for anxiety, which has really changed my life. I wish I had started before I turned 30, but better late than never.
By the way, this book was at least mildly helpful: https://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Alcoholics-Janet-Woiti... - Adult Children of Alcoholics.
Only one of my stepdads was alcoholic, but it applies outside of them. If you grew up in a bad home, it'll seem familiar.
I think in terms of the Hierarchy of Needs, I'm still struggling with the love and belonging area. I hope I can reach the upper levels one day.
I got 5, was annoyed it only asked about mothers being hit, when it was my mother doing the hitting, learned how to take a punch from her... ...but anyway, turned out alright I think. I mean, one rather disastrous marriage, but I've got full custody of my amazing kids. And yeah, I'm the same, don't feel accomplished but reality is I'm doing financially better than most people in my country. I am currently working on…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Thank you for your kind and empathetic words. I’ll probably be ok. I’m medicated and my therapist and psychiatrist are aware of my ideation. I have a very supportive spouse. I live an upper middle class life. When my ideation moves into active planning is when I reach out for additional help. Honestly, I feel very fortunate.
Did not have it nearly as bad as you but do struggle with similar issues on occasion, ultimately concluding I am fortunate and have a good situation now. But you know who I feel very bad for, is the coming generations. I feel like our age group has been so lucky to be around when the computer/internet revolution blew up. But it feels like it kinda settled down now, and there is no more easy access to it for bright yo…
This is cathartic. Thanks. ACE 8. I was often hungry and cold. and sometimes homeless. I was poor in an area stricken with poverty (appalachia). I lived in a home that didn’t have half of an exterior wall, and we only had a kerosene heater. Often, there was no electric. We originally didn’t have plumbing except for an outhouse (luckily a federal program forced a corrupt contractor to tack on a shoddy bathroom to the…
I married a woman who scores the same. There's so much to say. But here, I think the best thing to say is that, after years in therapy, she's finally reached the point where she feels like things might turn out OK. I know that might not mean much, if anything, to you, especially in dark moments, but maybe, hopefully, it adds a bit of fuel to the part of you that hopes things can get better.
I find this test interesting because I received an ACE score of 1, but I'm the oldest child in my household and I'm realizing that my siblings would probably score slightly higher than me... :-( I moved out when I was around 20 before alcoholism and divorce destroyed the beautiful family dynamic that I grew up with. This makes me want to try and understand the differences between myself and my siblings a bit more clo…
With the serious caveat that ACE score isn’t a great predictor for individuals: if your siblings have ACEs >=3, it’s entirely plausible that that trauma explains none, some, or all of the differences you’re referring to.
(If, like me, you grew up thinking socioeconomic status was the gold star predictor of cohort health, the past couple of decades of research here are pretty shocking!)