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Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

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Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#241

Post by scotty79 »

SkyMarshal wrote: post #209
beastman82 wrote: post #139

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You should record something about your experiences, whether in pictures, movies, or text. Makes it very easy to relive them in your mind.

Personally I prefer to savor the moment uninterrupted than constantly trying to record it. So many people get so caught up in trying to capture their experiences that they cease to become experiences and just degenerate into more grist for the 'lifestyle' consumerism mill. Learn to tell stories about it to your kids and grandkids if you must, they way people did for thousands of years before camcorders. But the actua…

... so live it, be present in it, forget it, make up a story about it, tell the story many times to same people ...

Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#242

Post by cookiecaper »

zephyrfalcon wrote: post #166
cookiecaper wrote: post #68

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't know, I think character is a really important trait. If someone is a womanizer and consistently breaks his commitment to his spouse, why should we believe that he will deal any differently with us? One is to have the most intimate, enduring, unbreakable commitment to his spouse, and if this person considers such an intimate connection worthless, why would he place any value on your professional relationship?…

"I don't know, I think character is a really important trait. If someone is a womanizer and consistently breaks his commitment to his spouse, why should we believe that he will deal any differently with us? One is to have the most intimate, enduring, unbreakable commitment to his spouse, and if this person considers such an intimate connection worthless, why would he place any value on your professional relationship?…

And what happens when things align such that sexual incentives occur which are contrary to relevant covenants? If we can't trust a politician to be loyal to his wife when faced with another attractive woman, why should we trust him to be loyal to political or employment covenants, by all accounts much less intimate and involved than a marriage covenant, if such a condition was presented?

For instance, if a company promises lots of pre-paid escort time in exchange for a given change to a given bill, why should we expect that an adulterer would be any more loyal to the right regarding the political establishment than his own wife and family?

And the reality is that these people don't even need an explicit sexual offer to betray their associates, there are many other bribes that appeal to the same basic desires (like money, power, status, etc.) that can be exploited to the same ultimate end.

An adulterer is a proven liability. Why should we trust him and invest a bunch of time and money and trust and secrets into him, only to betrayed when an adversarial entity lures him with money and sex? Obviously repentant people should be given another chance at some point, but I would never trust a known adulterer that wasn't completely repentant.

Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#243

Post by Xurinos »

DanielBMarkham wrote: post #238
Xurinos wrote: post #225

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No, I am not what I do. I do many things. If you (the general populace) must label me, just call me Xurinos. Better, call me the Xurinos that posts on HN. You use labels to conveniently understand me, but that is going to lead to mistakes and misunderstandings, broken expectations. Those are your chosen limitations. My point is to discard the label/role from your thinking because it can lock you in place. Multiple ro…

No you have missed the point, and out of all the comments, I can't let this mistake go. You make the decisions to do what you want to do, and those decisions -- what you do, your decisions -- is the essence of your existence. Every minute you make new choices, do new things, and those choices and actions are your life. The things you do, the decisions and actions you take, even if nothing more than decisions to be ha…

We may have to disagree, then. Here is our common ground from my first post: "Your footprint on the world is a culmination of your actions, so in a sense, your actions mark you in the perceptions of others." But clinging to what you think you are based upon actions you have performed will hold you back from living. The distinctions may be subtle, but there is a kind of freedom involved here.

Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#244

Post by DanielBMarkham »

Xurinos wrote: post #243
DanielBMarkham wrote: post #238

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No you have missed the point, and out of all the comments, I can't let this mistake go. You make the decisions to do what you want to do, and those decisions -- what you do, your decisions -- is the essence of your existence. Every minute you make new choices, do new things, and those choices and actions are your life. The things you do, the decisions and actions you take, even if nothing more than decisions to be ha…

We may have to disagree, then. Here is our common ground from my first post: "Your footprint on the world is a culmination of your actions, so in a sense, your actions mark you in the perceptions of others." But clinging to what you think you are based upon actions you have performed will hold you back from living. The distinctions may be subtle, but there is a kind of freedom involved here.

But clinging to what you think you are based upon actions you have performed will hold you back from living

Yes. And this is why "clinging to what you think you are based upon actions you have performed" is an exceptionally _bad_ way to make decisions and do things. Do not do this.

You are adding in a past-tense here where none is intended. You are alive this instant. You make decisions. This is your life. There is nothing in this advice about thinking you are the culmination of past decisions. You are alive now. You make decisions now. The decisions you make right now are your life.

The things you may or may not have not done in the past have nothing at all to do with it. In fact, as you point out, if you define yourself by your past actions? You've missed the point of what I was saying.

You are your decisions, but you are not the history of your decisions. You are your present-tense decisions. You exist now -- not as some trend, pattern, or tendency. People can worry about history when you are dead if they like. It's not worth your time now. Your life is the decision you make right this instant.

We are not disagreeing. I believe you misunderstand.

Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#245

Post by Xurinos »

DanielBMarkham wrote: post #244
Xurinos wrote: post #243

Earlier quoted context omitted.

We may have to disagree, then. Here is our common ground from my first post: "Your footprint on the world is a culmination of your actions, so in a sense, your actions mark you in the perceptions of others." But clinging to what you think you are based upon actions you have performed will hold you back from living. The distinctions may be subtle, but there is a kind of freedom involved here.

But clinging to what you think you are based upon actions you have performed will hold you back from living Yes. And this is why "clinging to what you think you are based upon actions you have performed" is an exceptionally _bad_ way to make decisions and do things. Do not do this. You are adding in a past-tense here where none is intended. You are alive this instant. You make decisions. This is your life. There is n…

Ooo, we're on the same page now, and I agree with you. :)

Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#246

Post by irahul »

chegra wrote: post #157
irahul wrote: post #127

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Gandhi was a racist? That's news to me. Links? Citation?

"We believe as much in the purity of race as we think they do, only we believe that they would best serve these interests, which are as dear to us as to them, by advocating the purity of all races, and not one alone. We believe also that the white race of South Africa should be the predominating race. "- Gandhi http://www.trinicenter.com/WorldNews/ghandi4.htm

Point taken. Thanks for pointing it out.

It's a general trend to rewrite history and present world leaders in glowing terms. The assumption is common people would loose faith if they know about their flaws.

I don't buy that. Ignorance, though bliss, isn't a solution to any problem. I would expect people to know the facts and then exercise their judgement.

I remember a slideshow a couple of days back from some startup which had a slide of a monkey saying "We don't write software for this", followed by a slide of Neil Armstrong on moon saying "This is what we write for; Humans who transcended moon and keep going higher"(paraphrasing).

The elite dumbasses at the top assume too much about common people.

Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#247

Post by frankus »

I'll be 35 in like a week, but a few weeks ago I had a realization that has allowed me to make a lot more sense out of things:

There is metaphysical loneliness ("What is my purpose in life?"), and romantic/sexual loneliness ("I wish I had someone to share this with"), and and they both suck and they feel kind of similar, but don't expect one thing to fix both problems.

Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#248

Post by canadaduane »

dan00 wrote: post #39
lionhearted wrote: post #25

Man, forgive me for being blunt, but there's a lot of loser talk in this thread. "Oh you can't learn from others mistakes, you'll make them, blah blah blah..." - no, this is how people feel better about themselves for having not listened to advice and getting wrecked in their own life because of it. Sure, you'll make mistakes, but you shouldn't just accept wandering blindly through life dealing with stuff. This is wh…

"Like, there's tons of literature on good parenting. How many people read it? Like, none." I think that's a really bad example. There's a lot of bullshit in the parenting literature. In a way I find it very disturbing, that we need to learn how to parent our children.

Read Laura Berk. She is an awesome researcher in child development.

Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#249

Post by thecircusb0y »

scotty79 wrote: post #239
snth wrote: post #194

Earlier quoted context omitted.

But things you learn also fade, unless you use them.

Not for me. I can jump into something I understood at any point of my "education" and find my way around it with pleasure.

Its a proven fact that if you don't use it you lose it. Your brain is constantly rewriting your memories, and information gets lost over time. This is why police get police reports ASAP, because its the most accurate account of the person before the mind begins trying to fill in the blanks with guess work. Believe me man, you do forget things. You're personality allows you to solve problems with experiences you have, weather its the experience of learning others experience (reading books) or actually getting out and doing something. In essence, its a hacker personality. When there is something blocking you, you find a way around it using every available resource you have.

Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?

#250

Post by scotty79 »

thecircusb0y wrote: post #249
scotty79 wrote: post #239

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not for me. I can jump into something I understood at any point of my "education" and find my way around it with pleasure.

Its a proven fact that if you don't use it you lose it. Your brain is constantly rewriting your memories, and information gets lost over time. This is why police get police reports ASAP, because its the most accurate account of the person before the mind begins trying to fill in the blanks with guess work. Believe me man, you do forget things. You're personality allows you to solve problems with experiences you have,…

I think it's also proven that you loose things that you understand and/or care about much slower than others.

About rewriting memories... You do not only fill the blanks in your memories. Your brain also fills the blanks in what you are looking at, the exact moment you are looking at it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBPG_OBgTWg

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