Ask HN: How do you tackle your own negativity?

Post by shardinator » Tue, Nov 02, 2021, 7:48 AM UTC

rackjack wrote: post #200

shardinator wrote: post #197

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Actually I had to devise most of this myself as I've had a physical & mental, disability that was getting worse and worse with no cure or useful treatment. I'm writing things up at the moment, basically an explanation of how muscular imbalances lead to brain and nerve dysfunction causing (possibly explaining, depression, anxiety and a whole lot of other things) and what to do about it. I should be able to share in a…

If you're gonna post it here I'll just keep tabs on your profile since I don't use Twitter. Looking forward to the post!

Post by ketan0 » Tue, Nov 02, 2021, 11:43 AM UTC

Post by sn9 » Tue, Nov 02, 2021, 1:06 PM UTC

PakG1 wrote: post #49

randycupertino wrote: post #11

Have you ever read the book "How to win Friends and Influence People?" It really helped me become a more positive, likable person. Something about viewing the world through everyone else's eyes and appreciating the good points in everyone. It's weird because it's common sense stuff, but it was a game changer for me. Now I'm friends with the grocery store clerk, the home depot guy, my neighbors, coworkers etc. I try t…

I read that book and as I recall, it makes the point that you need to have the intention and motivation to make it work, or else it won't matter. Whereas for me, the reasons I am always considering negative stuff (I just find it important to think in worst-case scenarios for various reasons), completely outweigh any desire I have to be more friendly and likeable. This has made my marriage difficult at times, and I've…

Post by agumonkey » Tue, Nov 02, 2021, 8:52 PM UTC

raxxorrax wrote: post #182

agumonkey wrote: post #179

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There are obvious signs: the lack of politeness, urgency of expressing themselves first, not giving you space to talk, tone, and also the adequacy of the issue at hand. When people go mad for small secondary issues you know. Or when there could be 100 different topics to discuss, some good, some bad, but only the bad gets mentioned.

I can accept a lot of different tones. I have my problems with secondary theaters as well, but that is to be expected. Different people care for different topics. And while civility is a tool to prevent topics getting personal, I believe it needs to be balanced with directness in a discussion, which can be perceived as rough. I believe a lot of this comes when people contrast online and offline discussion. In the (cl…

Post by anugar » Wed, Nov 03, 2021, 7:59 AM UTC

nefitty wrote: post #131

ranguna wrote: post #126

This is gonna come out really childish, but here goes: You know those games where you select the phrases you want your character to say, and certain phrases lead you to different scenarios ? Games like Detroit become human. All those choices form a tree where each choice is a branching point. What I've found in RL is that negative actions generally lead to smaller paths in the "choice tree", which is generally no fun…

There's no need to qualify your comment. The way you described decision making is clear and evocative. In fact, you helped me visualize how I either prune or increase the amount of my possible futures based on the emotional valence from which my decisions stem.