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Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you?

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Re: Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you?

#181
post #98

In the last 12 months, I begun understanding: - what attachment theory was, as a tool/framework analyze myself, others, and the world around me - about western philosophy (Plato, Socrates, Marcus Aurelius) - about eastern Europe or it's history (e.g. Alexander the Great, Siege of Constantinople, the Crusades, Subutai) - TypeScript - how to say hi in Polish or Ukrainian - how powerful desktop PC's are compared to lapt…

Can you share your learnings / point me in the right direction for learning about attachment theory? That sounds really interesting! > TypeScript I can relate! Made development so much nicer for me.

Attachment Theory Deep Dive, 15+ hours, Dr Kirk Honda, Psychology in Seattle. (The series is paywalled behind their patreon.)

Example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ji2QKcKqY7U

They are above the quality of a normal uni lecture, but not polished as a Teaching Company/Great Courses thing.

http://www.psychology.sunysb.edu/attachment/online/inge_orig...

http://labs.psychology.illinois.edu/~rcfraley/attachment.htm

For adult attachment Cindy Hazan is everywhere.

Re: Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you?

#182

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Without a college degree, you are effectively a second class citizen in the workplace. That's a minority of workplaces. There are many workplaces. Choose a better one or start your own. You are just as powerful as anyone else, so figure out what creates inefficiency in your area, figure out how to solve it, then build it. Remember we can move to cheap places and be self-reliant during at least the initial phase of co…

>hat's a minority of workplaces. No, that's nearly every publicly traded company. > or start your own See, here's the Silicon Valley disconnect again. You don't just start a company outside of a place like Silicon Valley and go "hey someone give me a ton of money to do this thing so I can get a building, hire employees, buy furniture and computers, I have a vague idea and no experience!"

Public companies are by definition large and bureaucratic. You are asking for a high-risk, high-touch hiring experience in a large bureaucracy. That is not realistic.

Contrary to your assertion, I've never lived or worked in SV. You don't need real estate, employees, furniture or computers to run a company. If you'd tried, you'd know that as I do.

Re: Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you?

#185
post #77

Anyone can run, you just need to reset your expectations. Backstory. I used to not like running at all. Every time I ran, my mind would count down either time left or distance left. It always felt easy in the beginning but very soon would be unattainable. But now I can run decent distances without getting mentally or physically exhausted. So here are the lessons: 1. The first 1 mile is the hardest. 2. Second mile is…

lol @ 8 miles per hour for an entire hour after a couple of weeks. I used to run 15 miles a day (7.5 to work 7.5 back) and even then that would've been tough. and I worked up to that over basically 3 years. a

Yes, in my experience there are people that are natural runners and there are those who are not. I myself am running for 18 years already, around 2 times per week and even in my best form never reached 8 miles in one hour. A friend of mine picked up running and surpassed me after a few months. People are different, and GP forgot that!

Re: Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you?

#186
post #50

The past year I've changed quite a bit about myself due to self-reflection. My SO and I were having some issues and I told her outright I wished she put as much effort and time into our relationship as she did her career. But that got me thinking about how I'm perceived professionally versus how I'm perceived personally. How am I regarded to everyone in my life outside of work? Around the office, I've worked hard to…

also in my early thirties and wanting to escape the 'grind' mindset. What sorts of things do you give less of a crap about?

Re: Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you?

#187
A good question! Although I wonder why the timeline is set at 12 months....

This is what I learned:

1- amateurs try to hard sell and persuade with much energy. That is how you know they are amateurs. They make up for competence by inflating their confidence.

2- true experts are those who can explain things patiently and completely (and sometimes enigmatically and paradoxically so that it makes sense on a lower level that we understand even though its seems like there is more to it than our understanding allows) and dont feel threatened by your learning them, too. All the rest "experts" are bozos.

3- I learned that the limit of my achievement is the limit of what I don't know that I don't know. Which in turn can be expanded by directionless search in random directions, kinda like how probabilistic methods solve deterministic equations in higher math.

4- I learned that the ancient saying "women lack reasoning" is false, because women have a different kind of reasoning machinery. And it works on a different wavelength than is normally assumed. It is not important to know exactly what wavelength a woman's reasoning systems operate (you won't ever find out) but you gain some advantage knowing that it is DIFFERENT and always CHANGING.

5- Body language is approximately 10 times more powerful than verbal communication. It includes tone of voice, the way your eyes look on to the world, silence, and even how you socialize. It is the ultimate tool to prevent people from getting fresh with you. Ignore the nasty ones, and it hurts them way more than engaging them.

6- I learned that small differences (and issues and squabbles) dont smoothen out with time. They become bigger and worse. Prevention is 100 times more effective than cure.

7- I learned that the most intelligent and wisest writer born in UK is Robert Burton, not the moronic Shakespeare.

8- I found out that all the smart cats (and some wannabes like me) hang out on news.ycombinator.

9- I learned that deadlines are necessary but they should be quantity-based, not temporal. "I have to finish reading two chapters today" sounds like an ideal deadline than, saying "I must finish this book in 2 months".

10- I learned the best way to learn something is by reading books, not watching lectures or videos. They put me to sleep, videos do.

11- I finally managed to create a site such that the buttons turn on like a light bulb. Www.jans.surge.sh

12- I realized that optimism wins even when failure is guaranteed. Better to lose a game you enjoyed than to win one you didn't.

I could go on. I will stop because I have more things to learn!

:)

Re: Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you?

#188

- We need to apply the same principles of consumption that we do to food to information. Consume responsibly. Be aware of the sourcing. Don't binge. Know what's junk and what's nourishing. Give back to positive sources to nourish and grow them (sustainability). - Income inequality is huge. Slavery still exists but in a misdirected, slight-of-hand way. Work or the system will abandon you and it's "your fault". - Learn…

All valid points. Can you please elaborate on the final loopholes part?

I identify with that part, so I will explain my interpretation of it:

If you do things the way they all do, you go on the path well-traveled. But if you dare to do what your heart tells you to do, even though it is outside of the "standard" way of doing things, then you stop being a commoner and become special.

If you didnt dare to be special, you will never know what you will have missed. True courage is living your life the way you want it (without harming others in anyway, of course) and not by the socially constructed dictates that are ephemeral anyway.

Be real, stay cool, and enjoy the journey!

Re: Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you?

#189
post #111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> You are what you consume I'd like to highlight this – especially for those searching for insight in the comments. Pick and choose what media & content you consume. The adage "you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with" applies directly to media. Over the past ~6 months I've filtered a lot of stuff I read. I don't read online arguments. I don't read much political content. I try not to read any…

>> I don't read online arguments. Don’t you simply bored with those? I genuinely find them incredibly formulaic and then I just stop reading - most of the opinions are barely worth a dime unless the author actually did some homework supporting what they say.

Especially on YouTube, there are quite a lot of people whose opinions are not calculated, fact-backed and experience-baked, who merely say things because they gotta say it.

Re: Ask HN: What have the past 12 months taught you?

#190
post #98

In the last 12 months, I begun understanding: - what attachment theory was, as a tool/framework analyze myself, others, and the world around me - about western philosophy (Plato, Socrates, Marcus Aurelius) - about eastern Europe or it's history (e.g. Alexander the Great, Siege of Constantinople, the Crusades, Subutai) - TypeScript - how to say hi in Polish or Ukrainian - how powerful desktop PC's are compared to lapt…

Can you share your learnings / point me in the right direction for learning about attachment theory? That sounds really interesting! > TypeScript I can relate! Made development so much nicer for me.

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/19/smarter-living/attachment...
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