71–80 of 237 posts
That despite being physically fit, at the very least decently looking, earning well, having interesting interests (such as doing a cool PhD and being a competitive dancer), despite having a decent social network and meeting lots of women, I will likely die a loveless virgin. It's unspeakably depressing.
2) The trouble with 'living in the now' is that eventually tomorrow will become now. Sufficient preparation for -that- now is not a strong suit for many of us. Consequently, humanity has built an existential debt which mere bankruptcy cannot erase. GOTO 1).
2) in relationships: over and explicit communicating is never bad
3) always be an optimist - the world has always had problems, and not every problem will be solved in my lifetime - so push the needle, and live happily.
*spacing
In the last year I've learned about the worth of a man, how big a burden a family can bear, and the extraordinary lengths a mother will go to save her dying child. Last July, I was fired from my dev job. This was a shock to me as I had been seen as a high performer at my last job. Well, my last job before my last job at least. I was scared, confused, and really down on myself after this happened. I'd quit the job bef…
That despite being physically fit, at the very least decently looking, earning well, having interesting interests (such as doing a cool PhD and being a competitive dancer), despite having a decent social network and meeting lots of women, I will likely die a loveless virgin. It's unspeakably depressing.
I assume there is something specific you’re not mentioning? In which case, I highly recommend paying for it — both sex and companionship.
Yes, I'm shy, which is pretty much a universal deal-breaker.
That despite being physically fit, at the very least decently looking, earning well, having interesting interests (such as doing a cool PhD and being a competitive dancer), despite having a decent social network and meeting lots of women, I will likely die a loveless virgin. It's unspeakably depressing.
A good one might be able to help you deal with the things that are holding you back.
It might not work but it beats not trying.
Backstory. I used to not like running at all. Every time I ran, my mind would count down either time left or distance left. It always felt easy in the beginning but very soon would be unattainable. But now I can run decent distances without getting mentally or physically exhausted.
So here are the lessons:
1. The first 1 mile is the hardest.
2. Second mile is hard but not nearly as hard as the first mile.
3. For the first few weeks do not run more than 1- 3 miles (based on your history) even if you can. There is no need to. The habit is more important than what you achieve on any given day.
4. Run slowly, lean forward and really reduce the impact on your knees. I started running one mile in 12 - 14 minutes, that is really slow.
5. Breathing. If you run slowly and let your body do it's thing, then your breathing will become rhythmic and in-sync with how much energy your body needs.
6. After a few weeks magic happens. You can run 8 miles in about one hour, not get bored, not think about it. You mind zones out and focuses on something productive.
I learnt more things, but wanted to share this.
Not taught: - Just a reminder I could die one second from now. Tuesday a friend of 21 years, had his heart stop. CPR was performed all the way to the hospital where they found a blockage that they cleared, however his brain had been without oxygen for quite some time and there was no brain activity. 72 hour protocol was started (arctic sun) but he died Wednesday evening leaving his girl, 1 kid and 4 step kids. Taught…
That's a minority of workplaces. There are many workplaces. Choose a better one or start your own. You are just as powerful as anyone else, so figure out what creates inefficiency in your area, figure out how to solve it, then build it.
Remember we can move to cheap places and be self-reliant during at least the initial phase of company building, so the financial bar to founding may be lowered. If you have no savings at all, you can also take a relatively intellectually uninvolved job with plenty of free time (night security shift supervisor, etc.) to keep you financially afloat while working on your idea.
Remember also there is venture capital out there for good ideas, it's not easy to get ... but it's available.
I've learned that despite earning in the 98th %ile, working a job will likely not make me rich. I define rich as ~5M in assets including primary residence. Thus taking a "career" is a non-starter and I would advise everyone considering working for someone else to either 1) resign themselves to a distinctly middle class life or 2) reconsider and start a business. Careers that reliably earn > 500k could be considered e…
I think that's why you hear a lot of stories about people who regret trading passions for some unreached goal. Or maybe those are just more compelling/comforting stories we need to tell ourselves.
Over the past few months both of my parents have been in and out of the hospital repeatedly. I live closeby, so I've been taking a lot of days off work or working remotely to help them get to and from the hospital, and then to help them get situated afterwards. I had to carry my mother up the stairs in her home a few weeks ago because her knees are giving out. I didn't think I would have to do something like that at this age--I'm in my late 20's--but, as the phrase goes, "shit happens."
The reason I brought that up is because I've also been thinking about making a job change to a different company. It'll probably require a few weeks of preparation, and then another few weeks to interview with various companies. I'm also a little scared about the whole situation because I'm woefully underprepared, so I don't know how I'll perform.
So I keep telling myself, "tomorrow, when I'm fresh in the morning, I'll come up with a study guide!" Then something comes up, and "tomorrow" becomes "this weekend." Then something else comes up, and "this weekend" becomes "next week." The something's aren't always bad things--I've been attending a lot of weddings recently, and also some of my friends and family are having kids, so it's been an overall positive thing--but distractions are still distractions, and I haven't been able to plan out any of those.
So I think what I have to do is just carve out time when and where I can. I might not get the six hours of uninterrupted study that I could get when I was 19, but I could certainly have done a far better job of studying than I actually did.
I have some more thoughts on all of this, but I really liked this question because it made me think about how these past few months really went.
EDIT:
I just wanted to edit this post and say that there are some outstanding responses in this thread. I'm never less than amazed at how reflective and thoughtful people can be. There's probably enough life advice and experience in this thread to fill a few books.
I have this habit of checking how "great" people have responded to certain situations, but now I'm realizing that "ordinary" people (whatever that means) might have just as thoughtful, reflective, and wise approaches to things. Instead of looking up the 18th article of how entrepreneurs respond to stress, I could probably sit down with my grandmother and ask her what it was like moving to a foreign country by herself where she didn't know a single person or speak the native tongue.
I'm rambling now, but I just wanted to say that the advice in here is pretty spectacular. I usually regret the time I spend on Reddit and YouTube, but I seldom regret the time I spend on HN (unless I find myself in a political thread).