Viewing profile — taparisbat3

wow, thanks :)

Both.

Can you elaborate on your changes?

See a therapist if you can.

I have opened myself to almost everyone near me. No one can help but me. The shame and guilt is deep inside me. It's me who's lost now. They try to be there but still...

I talked to them about this, they were like : "well how will you earn money?" I feel like it has never been about me, but about my achievements. This has fucked up my sense of self…

I'm not even sure.. at the moment I'm lost. :)

I've lived abandonment, verbal and physical svuse, bullying and a war :)

It's difficult to sleep well when depressed. Lately I wake up in panic, with only 3hours of bad sleep

I have suicidal ideations, shame and start isolating myself.. This is hard because I wait for people to come toward me but these people don't care so you just end up feeling alone …

I don't believe in the mission of my work. I actually feel guilty. The mentality around me feels just plain wrong. And collecting with collègues, I think I'm just like you. Superfi…

There's always the possibility to find work on upwork etc to do freelance stuff.

'one-off tech'? Yes your experience is awesome.

I ordered some actually :) will try and tell you

I don't enjoy it no. But I get to get bored easily with every job I have.

Comparing myself with these super gangsta people around me makes me feel small and weak. The qualities I have seem irrelevant there (empathy, sensibility, helping others, etc)

Thanks mc big g. <3

Thanks. I will do this!

I really feel the lack of empathy. But I need this more than those around me :/ which makes me feel special

I think job is good as what my parents would consider a good job.. :(

Thanks <3

How do you deal? How old are you?

Same. Dark thoughts about me. Comparing myself etc. Especially if I work alone in the big project. Something about being stuck that recalls my childhood trauma.. (not sure if true …

I'm already seeing a therapist and she believes I've lived a weird childhood