If you have depression, wat do you think is causing it and how are you handling it while still working/programming?
How are you handling depression?
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Re: How are you handling depression?
#2I've dealt with depression for quite a while now, for a number of reasons ranging from feeling cynical about a few things, girl problems, rejection, all the way to not feeling like I belong in the place I work from not feeling satisfaction in what I'm making, and feeling really limited in the solutions I can bring to my team. Depression has proven to be huge soup of confusion and feelings that are really difficult to sift through and understand.
Hyperbole and a Half couldn't have explained it better: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2011/10/adventures-in-...
How have I addressed all this junk? I've been seeing an EMDR therapist for about 7-8 months now and simply talking through these issues, asking hard questions, and confronting my feelings with an honest-as-possible lens. Much of it has been tackling shame head-on, walking past it, and acknowledging how much I've grown into a person I'm starting to love more. Part of it is also finding nuggets of a person I once loved being and reclaiming them, challenging myself to love others without restraint, have empathy, and place others before me.
EMDR therapy in particular has been really interesting. While I don't think it's an end-all solution, it has been well researched, and takes talk therapy to a new level. It forces you to process memories as you would while sleeping (specifically, REM sleep), with a hope to reprogram your feelings towards those memories, or scenarios you've created that lead you to believing you're much less of a person than you really are. It plays into the idea that we are our own worst enemy, and say the worst things to ourselves which form our identities, which in turn affects how we work (program), and where we stand with others. "Surely I'm the least [important / impactful / compassionate / loving] person in this room."
With all that said, I highly recommend seeking therapy if it's affordable, and most of all, be as truthful and honest with yourself as possible. Confronting your doubts and fears head-on, and replacing them with positive truths about who you are goes a long way, even if it takes some time. It really helps to have a therapist with you to affirm these truths. Remember, they may not know you as well as the people in your life, but that's good, because this person you're seeing is an unbiased support figure, fighting for the potential you have in you. This may not be _the_ solution, but it certainly will push you in the right direction to a life filled with hope.
But you know, there's something therapeutic about coding, where solving the many problems we solve give us some sense of a victory. And that's something, isn't it?
Re: How are you handling depression?
#3Anecdote of one: My particular depression has responded very well to Citalopram, an SSRI (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor). There are other SSRIs, other classes of drugs, and other treatments including therapy.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selective_serotonin_reuptake_i...
Everyone who is depressed, or knows someone who is depressed, should keep in mind that everyone is an individual, and there are many causes of depression.
If you are depressed, your first stop should be a doctor or other professional, as soon as possible. Today is Sunday, so call and make an appointment tomorrow, Monday.
Do not try to tough it out or ignore it. Your life does not have to be miserable.
Re: How are you handling depression?
#4Sorry, non-English speaker's comment below:
I was depressed for almost 10 years. It started in my sophomore year of college. Initially I would finish 3 hour programming assignments in 10-15 minutes and was the student representative of the CS department. I had a lot of friends, and was quite 'normal' I suppose. Then things started literally falling apart. I lost interest in my old hobbies, stopped talking to friends, kept failing classes, found no pleasure in anything. I asked my roommates to find another place and started living alone, and then decided to commit suicide by cutting my wrists in the bathtub with a knife but pussied out when the blade touched my skin... Fuck, what a nightmare.
However, I somehow dragged my feet through this misery and managed to graduate (two years late and at the bottom of my class) and luckily bumped into an old friend who remembered how good I was with computers back in highschool. He was running his own company and offered me a (non-programming, IT) job. It was great at first but once again the depression started rearing its ugly head and I started slacking off at work, being late for appointments and isolating myself again.
I tried doing the things people seem to suggest online like exercising regularly (never could for more than a month), yoga, mindful meditation, but I would always relapse.
It took me 6-months to finally get the courage and see a psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with depression and anxiety and put me on lexapro. I could never imagine how much 10mg of something could change your life.
Within a few days I started seeing major changes in myself. It rekindled my interests in my hobbies (programming, gaming, reading etc.) my memory improved tremendously, I felt compassion towards my friends and family, much more social and became super efficient at work. Fast forward a year and I'm now CEO of my friends company and I've dealt with some personal tragedies on the way without relapsing. Things are holding up pretty well.
If you think you're depressed don't hesitate to seek help. If you notice someone falling apart for no reason and might be depressed, offer to accompany them to a psychiatrist and that you'll keep it confidential. (I wish I had gone sooner)
Re: How are you handling depression?
#5Depression comes from experiencing a long period of frustration as a result of repeated failures to achieve a goal within an expected deadline. The victim will lose interest in life, friends and family and, will also lose excitement in job. Depression, if not properly managed on time, may cause the victim to commit suicide. However, it could be managed easily. The victim needs love, care, affection and the company of positive people. Victims must be reminded that disppointments don't signpost the end, rather, it's a wake up call to set more goals, work harder, set reasonable deadlines (different goals have different gestation periods) and have a positive outlook on life.
Read more at:
http://ayietim.wordpress.com
Re: How are you handling depression?
#6Sorry, non-English speaker's comment below: I was depressed for almost 10 years. It started in my sophomore year of college. Initially I would finish 3 hour programming assignments in 10-15 minutes and was the student representative of the CS department. I had a lot of friends, and was quite 'normal' I suppose. Then things started literally falling apart. I lost interest in my old hobbies, stopped talking to friends,…
Thank you so much for sharing your story.
Re: How are you handling depression?
#7I've put up with depression for around 15 years. I wish I'd taken myself more seriously earlier and seen a doctor. It's an illness, there is not always a clear cause.
Atypical depression is characterised by mood reactivity and is the most common form of depression (40%).
See a doctor, get some therapy for the bad thoughts that you've internalised when you were depressed, and get a prescription.
Life can be great.
Re: How are you handling depression?
#8Re: How are you handling depression?
#9Mine's inherited and atypical, but the sorts of things being suggested here have helped, e.g. a SSRI. I strongly recommend getting a copy of this book: http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy/dp/03808... or any other good guide to cognitive therapy, which has an added behavioral aspect nowadays. Therapists ought to be versed in CBT, and if things are bad enough they're worth a try.
Re: How are you handling depression?
#10Take a nice long walk to the store while it's sunny. About a 2-mile round trip. Pressure to have a "vigorous" workout is stupid. Sun + a nice walk will help you feel great. Slow down and enjoy the moment.