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How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

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Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#91

Post by shagie »

gorwell wrote: post #90
shagie wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> What did the Canadian government do? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Truth_and_Reconciliation_Commi... > In June 2015, the TRC released an executive summary of its findings along with 94 "calls to action" regarding reconciliation between Canadians and Indigenous Peoples. The commission officially concluded in December 2015 with the publication of a multi-volume final report that concluded the school system amounted t…

The Truth and Reconciliation Commission is the opposite as advertised. It's a serious mistake to take the self proclaimed Ministry of Truth at face value.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/07/25/world/canada/canada-schoo...

And, in the end, the conclusion of the National Truth and Reconciliation Commission was unambiguous: “Children were abused, physically and sexually, and they died in the schools in numbers that would not have been tolerated in any school system anywhere in the country, or in the world.”

From the 1880s through the 1990s, the Canadian government forcibly removed at least 150,000 Indigenous children from their homes and sent them t o residential schools to assimilate them. Their languages and religious and cultural practices were banned, sometimes using violence. It was, the commission reported in 2015, a system of “cultural genocide.”

---

Should that not be taken at face value?

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#93

Post by dang »

da768 wrote: post #19

Previous threads https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=19396563 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23927773

Thanks! Macroexpanded:

How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger (2019) - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=28567973 - Sept 2021 (33 comments)

How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger (2019) - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23927773 - July 2020 (134 comments)

How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=19396563 - March 2019 (251 comments)

I vaguely recall other related threads on this if anyone can find them!

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#94

Post by pmarreck »

ProllyInfamous wrote: post #75
pmarreck wrote: post #36

A lot of this seems alien to me but I've also suffered from lifelong anger issues (perhaps also due to some corporal punishment I experienced) so it probably tracks... so I'm going to try these. I am especially sensitive to being struck physically. When my 2.6 year old son hits me, for example (the other night he literally tried to grab my eyeball out, out of the blue, fingernails and all), I must immediately walk aw…

One of my first memories is of "biting Mother." Her response was "bite this little bastard back." I've spent decades untangling our Love. RIP, Mom.

Same on all fronts. Mom died March 2020, a week before COVID lockdowns. The wake for her we had at our house was the last social engagement I experienced for at least a year.

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#95

Post by jncfhnb »

paulpauper wrote: post #82
Baader-Meinhof wrote: post #52

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"At times it is only the angry who are in a position to apprehend the magnitude of some injustice. For they are the ones willing to sacrifice all their other concerns and interests so as to attend, with an almost divine focus, to some tear in the moral fabric. When I am really angry, it is not even clear to me that I can calm down—the eyes of the heart do not have eyelids—and the person making that request strikes me…

Although I am not a violent person, I think some people only respond to violence. They cannot be reasoned with.

Non violence is made effective by the credible threat of a violent alternative

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#96

Post by adriand »

082349872349872 wrote: post #86
adriand wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Anger is not at all useless, it is a powerful and extremely useful emotion. When we witness injustice, when our loved ones are threatened or harmed, when someone treats us with contempt or disrespect, anger is our signal that we must take action, and it gives us the energy and courage to do what must be done. Understanding your anger and not letting it control your behaviour (ie not giving in to blind rage), is impor…

> Anger is not at all useless, it is a powerful and extremely useful emotion. A while ago I had a loved one both harmed and threatened. I called my insurance, who gave me a lawyer, who got the facts from my loved one and combined them with the law, giving the case to a judge, who gave us a court order which allowed us to both (a) remedy the harm, and (b) get law enforcement backup. For this outcome, very little energ…

It sounds to me like you were driven more by other emotions — perhaps feelings of care, concern or worry. That doesn't prove that anger is useless, simply that in that situation, it wasn't the primary emotion you were experiencing or that drove your behaviour.

But let's suppose that the same situation unfolded, except you were Black, and the treatment you received by the legal system was rude and dismissive in ways that you were familiar with, having experienced racism many times before. In that situation you might experience much more anger, and you might rely on that anger to give you the courage and energy to deal with the injustice you were experiencing.

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#97

Post by rohitb91 »

shagie wrote: post #91
gorwell wrote: post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The Truth and Reconciliation Commission is the opposite as advertised. It's a serious mistake to take the self proclaimed Ministry of Truth at face value.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/07/25/world/canada/canada-schoo... And, in the end, the conclusion of the National Truth and Reconciliation Commission was unambiguous: “Children were abused, physically and sexually, and they died in the schools in numbers that would not have been tolerated in any school system anywhere in the country, or in the world.” From the 1880s through the 1990s, the Canadian government forcibly r…

There’s things that are left out that are important

Many indigenous wanted their kids to go to these schools

There was abuse in the school system everywhere and it seems like catholic schooling has been sexually abusive everywhere

Rural canada was extremely poor

Viruses like influenza ravaged everyone

The media reporting on the matter makes it seem like everything bad of the past was exclusively done to indigenous when it was a combination of life sucking for everyone and then it being a bit worse to the indigenous on top of that. But painting it as this extreme injustice to indigenous is misleading IMO. To say nothing of the extreme grifting and people looking for payouts from the government that only make the lives of the indigenous worse.

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#98

Post by svat »

op00to wrote: post #4

I’m not sure lying to your kids about sea monsters to the point that your children are so petrified of the water they don’t go near it is quite as benign as they believe.

From the article itself:

> At first, these stories seemed to me a bit too scary for little children. And my knee-jerk reaction was to dismiss them. But my opinion flipped 180 degrees after I watched my own daughter's response to similar tales — and after I learned more about humanity's intricate relationship with storytelling.

> Oral storytelling is what's known as a human universal. For tens of thousands of years, it has been a key way that parents teach children about values and how to behave.

Also, the Inuit parents don't want their little children going near the water. That the ocean is dangerous and to be avoided is the truth. The story about the sea monster is a way of communicating this truth in terms that the little children can understand.

(Calling this “lying” is like calling it lying to teach classical mechanics: to a first approximation Newton's laws of motion are true; they can be refined later. Similarly, though we can later refine the sea monster to say that it takes the form of waves and currents and depths and drowning and all that, IMO to a first approximation there is a sea monster, and in primal moments it can be useful to remember that.)

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#99

Post by Obscurity4340 »

alexey-salmin wrote: post #76
Obscurity4340 wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It certainly gives you more ammunition as a teen to distrust and venture the things your parents also taught you or implied were dangerous. It also teaches your children to believe foolish and questionable speech+conduct on the part of authority figures which has creates many other problems. Why is it necessary? Why do you need to lie to your children? Teaching them that lying is "fun" is absurd, so many problems are…

> It certainly gives you more ammunition as a teen to distrust and venture the things your parents also taught you or implied were dangerous. So a good thing then?

Not really, they already pick that up organically from their peers at that age, I maintain that it makes you less credible as a parent/guide to them. If you help them with the easy questions, they're more liky to seek you out for the hard ones.

Also, long before that, you've cultivated a tradition of believing ridiculous nonsense for which there's no easy cure or gurantee it can be remedied before it ends up creating even bigger problems

Re: How Inuit Parents Teach Kids To Control Their Anger (2019)

#100

Post by FireBeyond »

Aurornis wrote: post #45
Obscurity4340 wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It certainly gives you more ammunition as a teen to distrust and venture the things your parents also taught you or implied were dangerous. It also teaches your children to believe foolish and questionable speech+conduct on the part of authority figures which has creates many other problems. Why is it necessary? Why do you need to lie to your children? Teaching them that lying is "fun" is absurd, so many problems are…

> Why is it necessary? Why do you need to lie to your children? I prefer to be straight with my young kids when possible, but even I have to admit that mythical type stories carry a lot more staying power with young kids than a stern warning about real danger from their parents. The context we have as adults about the consequences of things like death are not fully developed in young children. However, they pick up o…

I agree with you, it's one thing to be lying for 'fanciful' things - "Santa is bringing you presents" versus "We're your family and love you very much and want to give you things", the Easter bunny, etc, versus "We're in the Artic Circle. If you fall and trip in this water, it means hypothermia, near drowning, or death."

As you say, children struggle with the concept of death, as any parent who has had to explain the death of a pet to a young child will attest. Depending on age, no matter how you attempt to describe, there's always that "but they're coming back, right?"

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