> The process of getting one’s head around why a server must be selected, what trade offs that entails and how to make a decision about it is almost proudly dismissed by the Lemmy community, which is frustrating.
I agree.
Lemmy community seems to be "toxicly positive". They ignore the server choice because they are worried that informing users about servers will make them leave for other webpages.
It'd be more appropriate if they were just honest about the Fediverse. Fediverse puts server-administrators front-and-center. Choosing a server means trusting the local administrators: not just for your username, but with your posts (ie: delivering them), your communities you build on that server, and your words.
We know that on Reddit, the admins/moderators can modify your words, shadowban you and other such behaviors. And I expect these tools to be employed in Lemmy (not that I know how to use them yet, but there's nothing stopping a few PostgreSQL scripts from accomplishing effective shadowbans or other such behaviors).
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For now, I chalk it up to the various community members feeling the need to grow and being naive. Its something I'm keeping an eye on, I'm trying to find 'the adults' in the community and trying to evaluate them myself.
But the only way to do that is to join up and make test posts / test discussions.