Hmsklt – App to help friends form deeper relationships • Hacker News Board

Re: Hmsklt – App to help friends form deeper relationships

#91

Post by DiggyJohnson » Tue, Sep 21, 2021, 9:25 PM UTC

bserge wrote: post #70

Frost1x wrote: post #55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>I think the biggest problem with friendships these days is people want friends without all the work that goes with it. We have a very convenience driven "me first" culture. While it's healthy to always keep in mind your needs, aside from maybe you close family/friends, few will, you also have to consider other people and learn to reach agreeable compromises. Sometimes it means driving somewhere you don't want to and…

If you do that, you have a high chance of being an idiot. You'll be the idiot who puts others first, always helps them, gets nothing in return and then gets abandoned. Hence most people are playing it safe and care about themselves first.

Surely its the middle-ground between your point and what you perceive GP's point to be?

Re: Hmsklt – App to help friends form deeper relationships

#92

Post by Abishek_Muthian » Wed, Sep 22, 2021, 6:57 AM UTC

hamuraijack wrote: post #51

If you're trying to build a tool to help deepen connections, it shouldn't be around sharing things that you do. We've tried that model for the last 15 years and it's clearly failed. I think what people crave these days is human connection through interactions. I think the biggest problem with friendships these days is people want friends without all the work that goes with it.

I agree, Friendship is an investment. I like my friends, I respect their friendship but I hate the social construct of having to constantly keep in touch to keep that friendship alive.

Hi how are you...

I'm good how are you...

I'm good too...

Then next 1 hour spent on each others problems which usually neither could do anything about.

Re: Hmsklt – App to help friends form deeper relationships

#93

Post by mosselman » Wed, Sep 22, 2021, 8:22 AM UTC

Avicebron wrote: post #35

mosselman wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I hope OP takes this as a pivot for the product. Connecting with friends is already solved, connecting with co-workers on a personal level much less so, especially remote.

Not all people want a deeply personal relationship with their co-workers, many would even find being forced to engage in that intrusive. Unfortunately once those bonds are formed between some members of a team, often the team dynamic is shifted weirdly as some people feel forced into the "buddy buddy system"...it's classic now and forcing it into remote work seems like a nightmare

> Not all people want a deeply personal relationship with their co-workers

I don't either per se, depends on the person more than it depends on the fact that they are my co-worker. What I think is useful is to connect, a bit, on things that aren't related to work, so that you get to know each other a bit better. 'Deeper' in this sense would be getting to know each other beyond just work things.

> forcing it into remote work

Bit of a straw man. I never said anything about forcing.

> Unfortunately once those bonds are formed between some members of a team, often the team dynamic is shifted weirdly

It seems like you are saying we have to avoid bonding with co-workers because the anti-social members of a team might be left out because people would rather work together with people they have a connection with than people they don't. If so, I'd strongly disagree with that and I don't think it is weird.

We spend so much of our time on this planet working, I'd rather spend it with people I have a good relationship with than people I don't have a connection with.