Why Do Some Poor Kids Thrive?

Yeah well, in everything I've done as far back as I can remember when I worked harder I got better results and when I slacked off, I got worse results. I'm thinking how hard you work has a little more to do with success than you give it credit for.

Story time. I grew up in a African nation were political instability, corruption and a poor economy for a country is not surprising. My family was doing fine, not great, but my parents valued education, kindness and respect above anything else. They did everything they could to ensure that we got the best education. It was until when my father fell ill and passed away when I was 10, thats when things started to go downhill.

My mother had to provide for a family on her own. Most of the relatives from my father's side didn't bother to help, they had their own problems to deal with, add all of this on top of a economy which was non-existent in 2008. We had no place to stay for 4 months because we couldn't afford rent. I couldn't watch shows my peers watched because we couldn't afford cable/satellite TV, let alone a place to stay. There was food, electricity and water shortage for years(still is). Inflation was so high the government had to discontinue the currency.

Teachers in my public school began to flee to other countries so that they could still provide for their family.I had to teach myself Physics, Biology, Chemistry and Mathematics.I took up subjects I was never assigned to do in order to get decent grades so that I could go to college. I had to do two A levels, instead of three because teachers thought my grades weren't good enough, other students made fun of me because of this.The environment I was in was a perfect recipe for disaster, for a young mind.

But here I am, with a degree in Computer Science and working for a software company with like minded people because my father bought and introduced to me a cream rectangular box, big monochrome monitor and taught me how to type with a keyboard at the age of 5. This machine would become my identity project. Computers have been my survival tool, my passion, even when my peers thought I was delusional for pursing a career in Technology(they even made fun of me for thinking I had a chance).

Environment plays a big part in your life but you have the choice to let it dictate your life or you take the wheel and determine your future. I could have given up but I chose not to, even though everything around me constantly said I should.

I'm not in a place where I can say I made it but, but its sure as hell better than what I have experienced in my late childhood and adolescent years. For those young folks that are reading this and are in somewhat a disadvantaged situation, stay positive,stick to your identity project and never give up!

I had a comment in mind I was going to go with but when I clicked reply in a new tab, I notice you ninja edited putting in the last line where you came clean and admitted that there was a little something you did that made a difference.

My question is this, ignoring your edit, if you say it was all luck based on the 8 points here, am I to conclude that anybody with these advantages would all have the same outcome no matter what they themselves did (taking into consideration the likely variability of behavior in context of your profile). If they worked their asses off, they would be no more successful than you are now and if they had just did the minimum, they'd be just as successful as you are.

I'd surmise this would not be the case so it seems likely that how hard one works, given the hand they're dealt, means a little more than you think.

This really resonates with me.

My family was initially very low-middle income, and some poor business and personal decisions caused us to fall, for a time, into poverty -- even spending several months homeless and living out of a motel.

The area we eventually ended up in was very rural, fairly poor with quite a bit of rural poverty around -- my immediate neighbors didn't even have running water or an indoor bathroom.

Having spent my earlier years in a more urban environment, I found the local children hard to relate to, and the distances between me and kids I got along with well enough were vast enough that they may as well have not existed. My parents worked very long hours and as a result I spent huge amounts of time virtually alone.

Somewhere along the way I got into BBSs and the world opened up to me. My "life-raft" was a happenstance introduction to the demoscene and the discovery of other kids in my metro area who were interested in technology, art and global perspectives. It also happened to dovetail pretty nicely with my other school interests (music and art).

I saved money to buy my first soundcard and learned how to upgrade computers. The desire to be part of the demoscene caused me to dive deeply into keeping up-to-date computers in my house and I learned to cobble together pretty decent ones for the time with very little money.

This kind of intense hardware/software experience got me my first job and an entry into the IT world where I grew in skills and ideas, and eventually put myself through university up to an M.S. (the first in my family) with the help of some grants.

Because of those connections I met my wife and have held great and wonderful jobs since then and have had a chance to travel the world and see things 10 year old me, sitting at the desk looking at pictures in history textbooks in the rented motel room my family lived in, would have never imagined I'd ever see in my life.

It wasn't all smooth running, there were many struggles and many times I almost never made it. But one helpful hand, or a caring boss or teacher, helped me get through it. I never took the SATs for example, barely graduated high-school, was nearly bankrupt in the middle of college due to a medical emergency. I never want to repeat the stress and anger of that time again, but I know it wasn't all just me, I had plenty of help and that, combined with desire from my life-raft seemed to be what did it.

You are too kind! Will email you ASAP. :)