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Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

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Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#81
So what ? Should men just refrain themselves if they find a cute girl ? The US society has become really low (though, not as much as Japan). Why is this wrong when women (say, Zoe Quinn), not only uses their pussy to promote themselves, but are defended by every feminazi ?

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Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#82
post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Seriously ? All for asking her on a date ? I don't see any harassment or any kind of quid pro quo. Mistakes happen all the time.

I'll take the risk of being buried along with beenpoor, but I should point out that asking someone out once is not harassment. Harassment is asking them out repeatedly after being turned down (i.e. it is known to be unwelcome). Not making any excuses for what interviewer guy did at all, that was still pretty slimy.

You can assume that potential employees will find dating questions to be unwelcome.

The behaviour is harassment even though it's a single contact because of that assumption.

Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#83
post #67
post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'll take the risk of being buried along with beenpoor, but I should point out that asking someone out once is not harassment. Harassment is asking them out repeatedly after being turned down (i.e. it is known to be unwelcome). Not making any excuses for what interviewer guy did at all, that was still pretty slimy.

So making sexual advances in a professional setting is A-OK, as long as you only do it once per person?

Of course not. If the way you ask people out on dates involves overt sexual advances, that's definitely not an appropriate way to do it in the workplace.

Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#84
post #37
post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Given that she was already turned down for the job, I see this more as an absurd lack of professional propriety than an abuse of power. It would also be extremely inappropriate for a candidate to ask an interviewer out on a date. Of course, if the job rejection is in any way related to the subsequent date-asking (or anything other than her alleged lack of experience), then the situation is different (and even more me…

There's always an implied "maybe this rejection could be altered" even if the interviewer intends no such thing.

Can you explain that claim, and is that claim in any way falsifiable?

Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#85
post #19

What the fuck? How does this shit happen? How on earth does someone, male or female, get into such a state that they think it is appropriate to do something like this in a professional setting? Can someone explain to me how this works? I'm male in a male-dominated industry, and of course I don't give a damn what people look like and treat everyone with respect. The problem is, I don't believe a single one of my male…

And yet we see people on HN, in this thread, defend the behaviour.

Edit: I'm not; I think the guy was a fucking idiot and I support anything that makes it easier for people to whistleblow creeps.

Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#86
post #45

I don't see the drama, but then again I'm a guy (40+). If he just waited a few weeks with that second mail, we could hardly fault him for being unprofessional could we? I don't believe she would have gotten then job with another interviewer (the "more experience" part sounds plausible). And if she was a really interesting candidate, another tech screen or phone interview would be natural. I'd tell any friend to say "…

Boy, you're really going out of your way to defend some guy you don't know who already admitted that what he did was wrong.

Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#87
post #67
post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'll take the risk of being buried along with beenpoor, but I should point out that asking someone out once is not harassment. Harassment is asking them out repeatedly after being turned down (i.e. it is known to be unwelcome). Not making any excuses for what interviewer guy did at all, that was still pretty slimy.

So making sexual advances in a professional setting is A-OK, as long as you only do it once per person?

Sexual advances? Did we all miss something?

Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#88
post #5

* Say no. * Forward copies of emails to the company's leadership/HR department. * Keep printed copies of the emails handy in case he decides to retaliate with lawyers. * Keep your own legal counsel on speed-dial. * Move on with your life. There's not much you can do from a legal standpoint, with regards to grievance/redress. Escalating the situation through contacting his boss/HR carries a risk, even though you have…

What’s wrong with just telling him it’s inappropriate and that the answer is no?

Because he needs to face consequences for his behavior. He's a massive liability to his company.

Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#89
post #16

You know, I'm all about being laid back and rejecting traditional corporate culture, because you can be serious without a suit. But you still need the "be serious" part, which somehow got lost between all the ping pong tables and beer on tap. I actually think a big chunk of the industry encourages unprofessionalism, because professionals do really obnoxious things like negotiate compensation. I really hope that the t…

> I actually think a big chunk of the industry encourages unprofessionalism, because professionals do really obnoxious things like negotiate compensation.

I don't approve of this situation, but I also don't buy your general argument (especially for things like ping pong tables and beer on tap). You seem to be referring to "professionalism" as some concrete normative standard, but in reality, what is considered "professionalism" changes over time and differs between people, industries, and geographic regions at any given time.

Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#90
post #82
post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'll take the risk of being buried along with beenpoor, but I should point out that asking someone out once is not harassment. Harassment is asking them out repeatedly after being turned down (i.e. it is known to be unwelcome). Not making any excuses for what interviewer guy did at all, that was still pretty slimy.

You can assume that potential employees will find dating questions to be unwelcome. The behaviour is harassment even though it's a single contact because of that assumption.

s/You can/Anyone with two brain cells to rub together will naturally/
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