Suicidal Software Developer

You said yourself that you have never felt that kind of depression. I have. When I did, stand-up comedy helped me out of it--even the likes of Sinbad, Kevin Meaney, Gallagher, and Margaret Cho. I learned to turn my own tragedy into comedy, and have never felt quite so bad ever since. While I am not as good at writing the jokes as even the worst stand-ups, I do not believe that comedy is inappropriate for a depressed individual. Laughter might, in fact, be the best medicine.

And from my firsthand anecdotal experience, dark humor is funnier when you're in a dark mood. And when you're Scandinavian, apparently.

Seeing your other responses on this topic leads me to believe that you are a bit of a jerk, and tremendously intolerant of other viewpoints, even when you have no firsthand experience of the topic at hand. You, also, are a horrible person, and you should feel bad about what you have done. Then you should wait a beat and deliver the punchline.

There are often multiple solutions to the same problem, with varying points of strength and weakness. A solution that works well for you might not necessarily work as well for someone else. That is one reason why I am reluctant to say your advice is bad. Going to see a therapist is a very reliable way to address suicidal depression. But it is also not the only way, or the universally best way.

For the original poster, he may feel better with the endorphins from strenuous exercise, or illegal drugs like MDMA or LSD, or by binge-watching a favorite television show and downing cartons of ice cream, or by sunbathing with a ginormous novel on a nice beach. Some people deal in different ways. And if you go to a good therapist, that person will likely tell you to try some of those things. The Internet is a bad therapist, and will tell you to try all of them.

If the author is reading this. PLEASE, please dont kill yourself. I wont say what you are going through is a minor bump in the road but if you can get some treatment and stress relief you will turn around again.

I can say from experience.

Talk to us. Please. If you need someone to talk to, e-mail me, I'll give you my number and you can even call me collect.

Wanna make a startup with me man?

1. Get into therapy. Today. You know you need to, so just do it, now.

2. Stop asking yourself or others questions without answering them yourself first. You ask questions like "How does one break this news to his fellow colleagues and boss?" Well, how do you think someone else would break the news to them? Write down all the ways you can think that somebody else would. Now do that for every other question you've asked. Answering your own questions is part of what's called "doing the work" of getting better.

3. Stop giving yourself excuses. You haven't killed yourself because you don't want to die. Nobody does; it's a natural state programmed into us like registers in a CPU. So acknowledge that you don't want to die and start focusing on what you will live for.

4. Focus on being more positive. Force yourself to think good thoughts, about other people, and yourself. Think about things you like and enjoy. Surround yourself with beautiful pictures, uplifting music, and [morally] good work. Think about a life that helps people and has a positive, productive purpose to it.

5. Learn to appreciate the world, and think of yourself as but a tiny part of it, rather than as the center of your universe. Right now you're thinking, oh my life, my purpose, my former partner, my job! Hyper-focusing on yourself and your relationships isn't going to lead to positive introspection or compassionate reflection about life. I think you should try to come to a place where you don't focus on yourself at all, where you focus on yourself in relation to the world around you.

I recommend getting some books on mindfulness and starting a yoga practice; it's a good starting point to clearing your mind so your thoughts aren't clouded by fear and pain.

I feel like working on client projects aka work a few months and then taking few months to learn/work on your own ideas seems ideal. I have issues with depression and a hate-hate relationship with my work atm. I constantly fantasize about not working for anyone and spending all my time pursuing my own ideas.