Earlier quoted context omitted.
You don’t look a day over 35 on a dating app.
I've been 29 for decades.
Ah yes, I totally want to find the love of my life and start it off with a lie about my age.
How Hinge's algorithm decides who you date
81–90 of 126 posts
Re: How Hinge's algorithm decides who you date
#82Earlier quoted context omitted.
The problem with all dating apps is the monetization. If you're truly successful on the app then you're no longer a customer. I really don't know the solution to this problem but until someone solves it all dating apps will devolve into dark patterns.
A dating app for couples that help them keep the spark alive?
Those exist. They send you weekly messages like "Try talking to your spouse!" "Try playing a board game!" "Have you considered wine?"
Re: How Hinge's algorithm decides who you date
#83Earlier quoted context omitted.
The problem with all dating apps is the monetization. If you're truly successful on the app then you're no longer a customer. I really don't know the solution to this problem but until someone solves it all dating apps will devolve into dark patterns.
It's simple. An Escrow offer. Explain the game to the user and make a package where the company reserves a large-ish sum on the credit card and they get to cash only when the user stops dating after a successful match. The dating app doesn't make any money until a successful long-term. The dating app could also require feedback after dates, to both improve matching and verify that one user is not cheating. If a coupl…
Interesting idea for sure, but how do you distinguish between users successfully starting a relationship and those just not using the service anymore? Can I say "I did not find a relationship with that person and I'm not interested in looking again for a while"? If so, what would stop people from saying that even if it's untrue?
Also, it means zero monetization for people looking for single encounters and/or flings, which I would bet is a meaningful portion of Tinder's income.
Re: How Hinge's algorithm decides who you date
#84Many of the popular dating apps are all owned by Match group -- Tinder, Match.com, Meetic, OkCupid, Hinge, Plenty of Fish, OurTime, etc. etc. It was a huge private equity play under IAC for awhile and then they spun out and IPOed but the universal dark patterns and enshitification isn't coincidental.
It's like Expedia owning many of the familiar travel brands: in reality they are all serving up the same content, but with different marketing, yet many people think it's a different company. You might think a brand is different and it might appeal to a different clientele but underneath its the same entity making all the decisions. It allows the brand to target different people without confusing everyone with a sing…
Same as all the junk food being owned by just 2 or 3 players in actuality. The vertical integration must be excellent for supply-chain dominance.
Re: How Hinge's algorithm decides who you date
#85Earlier quoted context omitted.
I agree that it’s terrible, but you can still meet people in real life. This isn’t really aimed as a refutation your comment, but as pushback to people who are frustrated by these apps. It’s good to get away from them whenever possible.
Society has changed, though. I've seen it during my lifetime. The pandemic certainly changed everything as far as in-person socialization is concerned. But even before the pandemic, people were becoming increasingly isolated and antisocial, and there are a lot of factors at play here. Technology has changed how we interact. Instead of looking around and striking up a conversation with a stranger, they have their head…
This is a great comment. The world (at least the US) has changed and IRL interactions are more fraught than when I was dating. So glad I'm married and don't have to go back to the scene. Especially your point about the danger of flirting. The difference between flirting (wanted attention) and creeping (unwanted attention) is entirely in the mind of the recipient, so you don't know which one you have done until they respond. I'm sure this causes people to play it cautiously.
Re: How Hinge's algorithm decides who you date
#86Earlier quoted context omitted.
I've been 29 for decades.
Ah yes, I totally want to find the love of my life and start it off with a lie about my age.
Play to win. You want to get in front of someone before a competing dating market participant does, and people are tolerant of “white lies” when necessary (“dating apps are the worst amirite?”). If you can’t excuse it away, work on your sales skills.
Hate the fact that third spaces have evaporated and you need a dating app to meaningfully participate in the dating marketplace, not that you have to take liberties with facts to increase your opportunities and potential to close into a relationship.
Tangentially, love is grown, not found. Find someone you can grow to love (ie trust and mutual respect, shared values and belief systems).
Re: How Hinge's algorithm decides who you date
#87Many of the popular dating apps are all owned by Match group -- Tinder, Match.com, Meetic, OkCupid, Hinge, Plenty of Fish, OurTime, etc. etc. It was a huge private equity play under IAC for awhile and then they spun out and IPOed but the universal dark patterns and enshitification isn't coincidental.
It's like Expedia owning many of the familiar travel brands: in reality they are all serving up the same content, but with different marketing, yet many people think it's a different company. You might think a brand is different and it might appeal to a different clientele but underneath its the same entity making all the decisions. It allows the brand to target different people without confusing everyone with a sing…
I've been thinking of late that we need to add some sort of five year sunset rule about brands and acquisitions to antitrust laws. So after an acquisition the buyer has a couple of years before they have to stop using the acquired companies name and brand.
Re: How Hinge's algorithm decides who you date
#88Earlier quoted context omitted.
If you could see the code, that’s the code you’d want to look at? I wanna see what my world ranking is lol
My point is show me the proof. None of the details of how their app works are public and you're telling me what I've seen from personal experience, isn't true.
What you describe matches perfectly with most users just putting their preferred age to 25-40 or something. No need to blame Tinder here.
Re: How Hinge's algorithm decides who you date
#89> There are plenty of alternatives, but it’s less of a choice than you might think. With the exception of Bumble and Grindr, almost every popular American dating app is owned by a single company called Match Group, including Hinge, Tinder, Match.com, OkCupid, Plenty of Fish, and many others.
I don't know how that situation is allowed to persist. There should be some serious antitrust action is this space. What Match Group is going is 100 times more blatant that anything Facebook's done. At a minimum they should be forbidden from acquiring any more competitors.
Re: How Hinge's algorithm decides who you date
#90Earlier quoted context omitted.
Ah yes, I totally want to find the love of my life and start it off with a lie about my age.
Play to win. You want to get in front of someone before a competing dating market participant does, and people are tolerant of “white lies” when necessary (“dating apps are the worst amirite?”). If you can’t excuse it away, work on your sales skills. Hate the fact that third spaces have evaporated and you need a dating app to meaningfully participate in the dating marketplace, not that you have to take liberties with…
I met my ex-wife on Match. Things didn't work out in the long run (10 years) between us for reasons that had absolutely nothing to do with online dating.
But, I certainly know that if I had lied initially, it would have never worked from the start.
Your attitude on this matter ("play to win" and "work on your sales skills") is what makes the whole scene really horrible. I feel for your partner, I wonder if they realize that is your train of thought.
After saying what you did, I find your advice at the end contradicts what you said above. "play to win"... but grow love with trust after lying about my age? Weird.