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Beyond introvert vs. extrovert

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Re: Beyond introvert vs. extrovert

#81

Post by karaterobot »

watwut wrote: post #69
karaterobot wrote: post #47

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I never understand why people (especially in the US) have a desire to split everything into two opposing sides For the record, I don't think this has anything to do with the U.S., false dichotomies are a more or less equally common human shorthand anywhere and anywhen that I've visited, or studied at all. I've assumed it's because people don't have time or energy to consider all the nuances of everything all the ti…

But, US culture is saturated by them and Americans really tend to create dichotomies much more then French or what have you. There really seems to be some dteong cultural tendency to do this.

Would love to see some evidence for this, but okay.

Re: Beyond introvert vs. extrovert

#82

Post by coldtea »

>This entire introvert/extrovert/ambivert thing just amounts to "most people like to be alone sometimes and around people some other times"?? What's the point?

The point is that we shouldn't be particularly concerned about that group, and it's the people in the extremes that might need special accomondations.

Breaking it down too much can muddle the distinctions, as opposed to illuminating them.

Re: Beyond introvert vs. extrovert

#83

Post by nuancebydefault »

Usually I feel very comfortable with 1-on-1s, but a lot of times at a point I start either to talk too much about myself, or start asking too many questions and people start to feel a bit uncomfortable or overwhelmed, while I just want to interact and learn. Anybody else recognizes this?

Re: Beyond introvert vs. extrovert

#84

Post by rochak »

nuancebydefault wrote: post #83

Usually I feel very comfortable with 1-on-1s, but a lot of times at a point I start either to talk too much about myself, or start asking too many questions and people start to feel a bit uncomfortable or overwhelmed, while I just want to interact and learn. Anybody else recognizes this?

You just described me. I actively try to not do this but I end up doing it every single time. I think there may be something wrong with me.

Re: Beyond introvert vs. extrovert

#85

Post by jghn »

pydry wrote: post #38
akhayam wrote: post #9

Introvert and extrovert is the most widely misunderstood thing I have seen at work and in personal life. This article also doesn’t do justice to the nuance that introverts find interactions with other “draining” … but it’s not necessary that they suck at it. I feel this way: having led teams of hundreds of people, I know I can have deep, meaningful and long conversations… but I don’t find them a source of joy. I enco…

>introverts find interactions with other “draining” I'm pretty sure this is bullshit. Level of drain = lack of trust in that person X overall level of anxiety If you're highly anxious and socializing with people you dont trust (strangers, acquaintances) then the experience will be stressful and draining. Ive met many self declared introverts who have no problem socializing for long periods in small groups with people…

I'm somewhere in that morass. I love socializing with people I know and enjoy. I hate social interaction with strangers and/or people I don't know well, don't like, etc. I'm also completely happy being by myself for long stretches of time. What's draining vs energizing for me is equally a mess.

Don't know what that makes me but I don't worry about the labels

Re: Beyond introvert vs. extrovert

#86

Post by nuancebydefault »

rqtwteye wrote: post #26

I never understand why people (especially in the US) have a desire to split everything into two opposing sides. Liberal/conservative, introvert/extrovert and many others. I think it's pretty obvious that most (all?) people are on a spectrum of many dimensions and can't be categorized that easily. These labels can give useful hints but there is way more detail to look at.

In fact this happens with any form of social or psychological science. If you start with, anything is a spectrum, gray zone, nuance... you are not able to make different categories. Even with music, pop, rock, metal, hiphop, balade,... if you ask any musician they will tell their music dies not fit any category. My point is, making categories is just a starting point for certain sorts of science and literature.

Re: Beyond introvert vs. extrovert

#87

Post by jgilias »

coffeebeqn wrote: post #51
jgilias wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well, no. I guess if you don’t know then you don’t know. As an anecdotal personal example. I love my wife and kids dearly. I trust them, and feel no anxiety being around them. Yet it’s draining. Now they’re gone for a few days, and I feel very good being finally alone for a few days. Likewise I enjoy getting together with friends and family. I’ve also learned to be sociable. But it’s draining. After a day of having t…

You also adjust to a degree. With a family those longer moments can be as rare as a few times a year. I used to be alone for many hours or days almost daily when I was younger. But I’m doing fine. I really do enjoy the moments of solitude but I guess I don’t need them as much as I thought. With this “draining” metaphor you’d think every introvert parent is a mere husk

Recognizing that something takes effort doesn’t necessarily imply that the activity is not enjoyable or worth pursuing.

I mean, I do see how someone might believe that just because one finds an activity draining they’d strive to avoid it at all costs. But that really doesn’t have to be the case.

Re: Beyond introvert vs. extrovert

#88

Post by nuancebydefault »

rochak wrote: post #84
nuancebydefault wrote: post #83

Usually I feel very comfortable with 1-on-1s, but a lot of times at a point I start either to talk too much about myself, or start asking too many questions and people start to feel a bit uncomfortable or overwhelmed, while I just want to interact and learn. Anybody else recognizes this?

You just described me. I actively try to not do this but I end up doing it every single time. I think there may be something wrong with me.

Maybe you would be someone I could easily interact with, without them feeling uncomfortable soon ?

Re: Beyond introvert vs. extrovert

#89

Post by InexSquirrel »

karaterobot wrote: post #81
watwut wrote: post #69

Earlier quoted context omitted.

But, US culture is saturated by them and Americans really tend to create dichotomies much more then French or what have you. There really seems to be some dteong cultural tendency to do this.

Would love to see some evidence for this, but okay.

Agree that evidence is appropriate, but as someone that's not in the US (NZ), we do broadly see it that way. US politics is very pervasive internationally, and you guys definitely appear to be split way more into 'left' and 'right' (as one example).

Compared to NZ's politics... which is more like a blob of parties which sit pretty close the centre, and sometimes parts of the blobs move more left or more right.

But naturally the dichotomy comment doesn't hold true in all circumstances.

Re: Beyond introvert vs. extrovert

#90

Post by InexSquirrel »

costanzaDynasty wrote: post #34
rqtwteye wrote: post #26

I never understand why people (especially in the US) have a desire to split everything into two opposing sides. Liberal/conservative, introvert/extrovert and many others. I think it's pretty obvious that most (all?) people are on a spectrum of many dimensions and can't be categorized that easily. These labels can give useful hints but there is way more detail to look at.

Because it's lazy, and most people don't care enough about any issue to have nuisanced thoughts about a topic. And If they ever did any conversation would break down to A or B. Plus its easier to sell to and manipulate money from both sides. I try to have conversation about complex issues all the time and those conversations never advance past basic talking points that any person who spent time actually looking into…

It feels in part that people like to have opinions, but also lack real information or insight to have a deep conversation about something - hence just breaking it down into basic blobs.

That said for topics I do have some more in-depth understanding (and opinions on), I've started to find discussions around them to be... draining. People seem to want to argue or 'discuss' things heatedly, but that's it. It never leads anywhere or to any meaningful change in behaviours. Not that I'm trying to influence anyone, but it just feels like arguing for the sake of arguing. I'd rather just keep to myself at that point.

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