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Steps Towards Happiness (2015)

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Re: Steps Towards Happiness (2015)

#81

Post by alexvoda »

TaXaZ wrote: post #66
DecayingOrganic wrote: post #49

Earlier quoted context omitted.

When you have children, why should evolution be seen as under pressure to make you happy? If the ultimate goal is to ensure that you will care for them for the time necessary for the offspring's wellbeing, there are various ways to do this without making the parents happy; in fact, making the parents happy may be counterproductive.

I think it BCZ actually doesn't stem from happiness or even lack of it (say hello to functioning unhappy parents). Children give strong "purpose" and hijack the dopamine circuitry which is the real driver behind human drive, evolutionary speaking (yes they also hijack some other circuitry as well, but the real drive is the dopamine system). TLDR, you're right, it works on another dimension which is even more fundamen…

Just a note, the Triune brain theory, implied by you saying "lizard brain", is not actually part of scientific consensus. It was incredibly popular (even being cited by Carl Sagan) and still retains a lot of popularity among the public, but it seems it is no longer regarded as factual.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0963721420917687

Re: Steps Towards Happiness (2015)

#82

Post by laputan_machine »

Aeolun wrote: post #48
laputan_machine wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For you, perhaps. Public transport for me involves having to fight for a space in an incredibly crowded environment, having to take multiple buses or a bus + tram, it's expensive, smelly and a vector for illnesses. I read a lot of books on my commute, but for me the cons outweigh the pros by quite a margin. No thanks!

Hmm, in my time we’d have said something like that builds character.

I commuted from the age of 11 until 21, when I had finally had enough of the BS to buy a bicycle and learn how to navigate the pot-hole-ridden roads of UK cities, figure out how to avoid getting killed by tired motorists and how to quickly fix a punctured tyre in -4c.

Those things build character. Sitting in a bus just breeds resentment.

Re: Steps Towards Happiness (2015)

#83

Post by JKCalhoun »

zcw100 wrote: post #58

Every time I read something like this I always think they have the causality backward which I think that anyone who has ever suffered from depression can attest to. The food doesn't make you happy, you're predisposed to finding happiness. You wouldn't say that bad food makes you unhappy would you? Disappointed maybe but under normal circumstances it wouldn't cause unhappiness. If you were depressed it might, and you…

Perhaps it is in part the process of making your own food that is also therapeutic.

I think we fill our days with positive and negative "karma" all the time and are unaware of it, losing clarity of even the bad karma as so much background noise.

Perhaps it is only in times of crisis that we are specifically tuned to see the accumulative effect of the negative karma, can see it for what it is. I feel that way myself anyway — and then try to redouble my efforts going forward of pushing away those detrimental influences.

Re: Steps Towards Happiness (2015)

#84

Post by JKCalhoun »

jll29 wrote: post #29

There are some pieces of good advice in there, but it is ultimately a selfish list. "Mingle with others" because it makes _you_ happy implies _using_ other people; a better way is to _serve_ others ("Love thy neighbor like yourself"), which leads to a deeper happiness based on purpose.

They do talk about being a part of a bigger thing — to me this implies serving a greater cause, serving others in need.

Re: Steps Towards Happiness (2015)

#85

Post by tavish1 »

jackhiggs wrote: post #8
nodejs_rulez_1 wrote: post #2

The intentions there are good, but reads bit unrealistic in some places. Being a boomer, author doesn't realise how far financially he is then many people who are younger. > Stop wasting your time on commuting, boring jobs, meetings, TV. Do only things that you feel are worthwhile, with people you like. If this means a cut in income, so be it. TV - sure, commuting - thanks to COVID only, the rest - sorry, but I would…

I agree, but I'm going to go in harder. The author seems to think that people have infinite time. Many points require an allocation of time that most people - in particular those with families and caring responsibilities - do not have. Remove bad actors? What if the bad actor is the mother/father of your kids? What if they're a parent who requires care you/they can't afford so you have to do it yourself? It's all so…

just replying to the part about bad actors - he is talking specifically about narcissists and psychopaths. If you have to cut out your parent because of some inconvenience (and not because they are narcissists and severely affect your life), then that makes you not so empathetic, and that is absolutely not what he argues for in his book psychopath code.

Re: Steps Towards Happiness (2015)

#86

Post by k8sToGo »

virtualritz wrote: post #12

'Commute less' should be taken with a grain of salt unless one talks about cars. Any form of transport I take where I am not driving the vehicle myself gives me time to read, relax, think – even meditate (trains are great for this). I know for a fact that I read most books/month in my life in times I had a job that included at least 20 mins of commute (one way) on public transport.

Personally, I get that time of thinking during driving. In fact, I hate taking public transportation after work since it is always noisy etc.

Re: Steps Towards Happiness (2015)

#87

Post by long_time_gone »

refurb wrote: post #64
pdimitar wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree with your comment a lot. Don't think of me as a nitpicker, I simply want to add a nuance to this statement: > Reminding yourself of everything you could lose drives some appreciation for what you have, whatever it is. I have observed many people having trouble with that and I agree with you that this is very much needed in our lives to give us some humility. That being said, to some people -- myself included…

Interesting comment on appreciation. It’s not easy by any means and I’ve found myself fall into thought patterns where I start to feel like I’ve been cheated by life. But at least for me, a lot of it is driven by distraction. Work becomes overwhelming. Or family becomes too hard to juggle. So caught up in what’s in front of you that you lose the big picture. Where I’ve found clarity is in the “being present mindset”.…

> Often what we value most in the future are the experiences of the past.

Thank you for this phrase.

Re: Steps Towards Happiness (2015)

#89

Post by vgchh »

Few changes that have helped me greatly towards a happier life are:

1. Cutting out alcohol

2. 15 minute meditation before sleeping

3. Regular exercise - e.g from YouTube

4. Eating less…sort of intermittent fasting

5. Reminding myself to do actions/thoughts that my soul would approve of. Others can do what their soul approves of or not. This has been especially useful. For example I am no longer hurt if someone is being mean. Ultimately they have to be a witness to their soul and are probably just having a bad day. I can’t get inside them and fix it for them.

Edit:

These steps have essentially made me more alert - more capable if you will. I am able to deal better with good and bad.

Re: Steps Towards Happiness (2015)

#90

Post by UncleOxidant »

pdimitar wrote: post #37

I don't disagree with the article in principle, but to me it seems that us the modern people are pressured much harder than previous generations. At 41 y/o I have arrived at most of the same wisdom but I can't see how and where can I implement it. As others commenters said, I wish I could take a pay cut and work on things I love more than my current job. I absolutely can't afford it; not because I can't take the inco…

> but to me it seems that us the modern people are pressured much harder than previous generations.

I don't think this is even close to true. In fact we've got it pretty soft compared to many earlier eras. Think about having to wake up prior to daybreak to feed the animals, milk the cows, start fires for cooking, heating (a lot of wood chopping), etc. Having to haul drinking water. Scratching out a subsistence living. No or very minimal medical care. Lifespans in the 30 to 40 year range.

I think much of the pressure we feel is self-imposed striving to keep up with a lifestyle fantasy handed down to us by advertising and peer pressure.

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