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What you learned after having kids that questioned the decision of having kids?

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Re: What you learned after having kids that questioned the decision of having kids?

#81
post #12

Having kids is a personal choice. In order to have them, you should want to have them. It's a gut feel. Conversely, if you don't, you shouldn't need any supporting arguments or evidence to justify that choice to someone else. It's your life. I get the sense that you already have the gut feel, but are looking for supporting evidence and I would ask "why?". The worst thing someone can do is have kids when they don't wa…

The problem is when your gut is inconclusive, or when there’s a biological clock. Anecdotally from my experience, those are both common.

My experience has been "I want kids but I don't feel ready". To which I can now say "you never will". Not even with the second one. So jump in when you have a decent job and that's it.

As for the gut feeling, the problem is that it's hard to be exposed to what make children amazing because some if these things are obviously reserved to parents.

Letting your child fall asleep on your lap, because it trusts you completely is always a fantastic feeling.

Just get ready to forego a good chunk of your freedom for a few years, but be aware that it happens gradually. At 3 months you still have a somewhat decent life. At 2 years you need to be mostly dedicated to them.

Re: What you learned after having kids that questioned the decision of having kids?

#82
HAving kids changed my "ambivalence" about it... After infertility treatments for years I was just done focusing on it...wife wasn't....then we got our two boys...

So glad I didn't give up or say "enough is enough"... my life wouldn't be worth nearly as much as it is now...

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