81–90 of 147 posts
Have you considered looking at the HackerNewsers world map [0] to see if there are other HN users in your area? Some of the frustration due to the "inactivity" in your area could be offset simply by having a meal/drink/chat with another HN type once in a while.
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Move close in but not with your parents, get a job, and learn programming -- it's very empowering. I had one of my friends over that is doing just that. Six months back when he started he was quite bleak, but now he's close to $0, and on a roll. He seemed not tense for the first time since I've known him.
What is the best way to go about starting to learn programming if you do work a 9-5? I am finishing school and paying for a website to be designed right now but would love to learn more...
I worked on a start-up for almost four years. It received national attention in all the popular tech blogs, as well secured seed funding. Prior to starting up I didnt know how to code, but wanted to teach myself and I thought starting up would be a good way to learn.
Ultimately after the attention and money faded it was time for me to go get a job in my new field. To get my first web dev gig was easy, as my start-up accomplishments were interesting and helped get interview/land 1st gig. THough this 1st gig I was brought on a jr. developer making horrible money, but ended up working my butt off to go from trial period to full time with benefits/better pay. I liked this job because it kept me busy and I always had a full plate of work. Though a month after I was brought on full time my full plate of work shrank(my anxiety/OCD of worrying about keeping job kicked in) to a small plate. A lot of times I would send out office email asking for work(having to do this made me even worry more about me maintaining this job I liked). I would get a small amount of work but not enough to keep me truly busy, thus I ended up taking my time on tasks .. stretching them out. Ultimately, taking my time on tasks led me to being laid off. SO frustrating as I was cranking out stuff left and right in the beginning when I felt useful and needed. Well I was out of work for three months, but didnt really start looking until 2 1/2 months out of work. There again it was easy to get interview/job because my start-up accomplishments were interesting. Well first day at this new job I immediately had those same thoughts/worries/OCD stuff - thinking this job isnt going to last. You know what ....it only lasted six months as similar thing happened. GOt a ton of work first few months then work stalled and thus I slowed down which ultimately led me to being laid off there for being slow :( Also, my worry about keeping the job continued.
Overall any job I enjoy and work hard to obtain I havent been able to keep due to constant worry/OCD crap. I have had no trouble keeping crappy, boring customer service and other medial jobs, but ones that are career oriented Ive never been able to sustain. I always worry them away whether its these web dev jobs or my NYC marketing job I landed out of college. NYC was a place i lived only outside of college. ALl other jobs Ive had have been in a smaller city(hometown) on the east coast.
Its been over 3 months since my last web job and I have been on seven different interviews. This time Im able to get interviews still because of background but since Ive worked for two local agencies for a short period time .. landing a gig I havent been able to do. Some interviews have been horrible ... like one said I just wanted to meet you as your interesting, but Im not going to hire you. Some of the interviewers personally know people ive worked for in this some what small metropolitan area.
I dont want to go back to medial jobs, because what the hell would that teach my future children, as well i really enjoy working on the web and feel I have knack for it. I worked medial jobs for five years after leaving my failed marketing job out of college. Since these medial jobs are just that and not a career, then I do not have the same worries/anxiety/OCD I do with career jobs.
Overall here I am in my mid 30s, dependent on others and like you lost as what to do. Give up any hopes of a career and just work crappy jobs or continue to face rejection until someone else gives me another chance?
While I'm not currently practicing this, I'd recommend finding someone to be an "accountability buddy". One of the parts of my life where I grew the most in terms of self-confidence, concentration and productivity was a 6-month period where I had daily email checkins with what I termed my "accountability buddy". The program is simple - every day, first thing in the morning you send an email to your accountability bud…
She would then make a note of it and hold you accountable for what you said you were going to do and who you said you were going to be. All that she asked is that you do the same for her. It cut down on people saying they were going to do something just to look good or making promises that they knew weren't going to be kept. She became a very popular person to talk to, when people wanted to make changes in their life she was often the person to call since she would hold you accountable without judgement.
Edit: Fixed a typo.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Really good point, how do I go about achieving this? I'd like to believe that I have the skills, insights, strength, and endurance for all these things, but yet, I have to accept the reality that so far it has gotten me nothing. I'm open to change/learning - if my family weren't an issue I'd go anywhere in the world to learn, reboot, start over, grow, etc.
Important edit: I recommend buying books if you can afford it. Many reasons for this. One, it's fun to receive packages in the mail. I get a rush every time I rip a package open. Two, it's good for the ego. It helps you keep perspective on how much you've been reading. Three, you can underline the books as you read them, this can be VERY helpful. Unfortunately I do not recommend loaning books to friends, you will nev…
I'll repeat the advice out of one of Peter Drucker's books: the only way to really improve in life is to feed back from actions to results. Try to do something. When you fail (and you probably will, the first time), take an honest look at your performance, and identify one thing that you could've done better. Then do it again, but this time do that one thing differently. Did you get better results? If so, find something else you could've done better, and practice that next. If not, do it differently again, and measure the results. Repeat until you're doing everything awesomely. You have now mastered the skill.
"People here want their safe, comfortable, 9-5 jobs, and their must-see-TV at night. There is no ecosystem to help drive and create new things." Considering your situation, a stable 9-5 sounds like a better option for you than a new and risky venture.
Yes I actually agree with you. I should have provided better context: 9-5 meaning that people here are mostly content with what they have. They aren't out and about in the city looking to build new ventures, take risks on big, unproven ideas, etc.
Is it really like that in SF? I've never lived there, only visited; and almost got mugged at a gas station.
The description reads like a fairytale or wishful thinking. I hope I'm wrong, though, because that would be amazing.
The getting away from it all for a week or should help clear your head a bit and make it easier to create a plan to execute. Try to clear the depression cloud a bit, let someone look after you since you've been looking after your parents. I swear it'll be easier if you're in a slightly better headspace.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Move close in but not with your parents, get a job, and learn programming -- it's very empowering. I had one of my friends over that is doing just that. Six months back when he started he was quite bleak, but now he's close to $0, and on a roll. He seemed not tense for the first time since I've known him.
What is the best way to go about starting to learn programming if you do work a 9-5? I am finishing school and paying for a website to be designed right now but would love to learn more...
don't just read, but write too
And never, ever stop being an entrepreneur.
A few observations: - Your post is a little judgmental of the people living this area. 9-5 jobs are nothing to be ashamed of and wanting to watch TV after a hard day isn't necessarily a fault. If I were a business leader in this area I'm not sure I'd be interested in working to fix this if such a thing is even possible or desirable. - What is your skillset? Are you a programmer? If so then you should be able to find…
1) Re: 9-5 - Thanks for catching that. My frustration came through on that a bit. I changed the wording. 2) Re: skills - I do everything but program. And by everything I mean everything - funding, prod dev, marketing, sales, operations, strategy, etc. Great point about not doing something driven by guilt. Thanks for your feedback.
If you don't know who you are professionally, it's probably because your heart isn't in whatever it is you do. Quit feeling sorry for yourself and learn to program.