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Failed entrepreneur, broke, unemployed, now taking care of aging parents. Help.

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Re: Failed entrepreneur, broke, unemployed, now taking care of aging parents. Help.

#71

Post by pgroves »

It's difficult, but you really need to move your parents to where you can get a good enough job to support and care for them. If your main concern is money, being willing to move anywhere is quite attractive to many employers (e.g. they need someone at the Dallas office, but the geeks all want to live in Austin).

Their desire to stay put does not override all other concerns. If you were rich, you could hire a full time nurse, but you aren't, and your whole family needs to accept that.

I saw this when my grandmother couldn't take care of herself anymore. My parents dragged her to their house kicking and screaming and moved her into my old room. There just wasn't enough money in the family for anything else.

Forgoing building a life of your own so they can stay in their comfort zone is asking too much of you.

Re: Failed entrepreneur, broke, unemployed, now taking care of aging parents. Help.

#72

Post by thedeuce »

Yes lifes hard..suck it up kid. If the area sucks and you want to be an entrepreneur...be the first to change it. With this current attitude I'm not quite sure how anyone would ever want to follow you into the tough road of startup hell/fun.

Sorry if this seems harsh, but I have little patience for self loathing, especially with the many greater tragedies that happen daily in the world.

Re: Failed entrepreneur, broke, unemployed, now taking care of aging parents. Help.

#73

Post by Daniel_Newby »

If they have lots of fears, they may be ashamed of needing help and imposing on others. Naturally they will fight the source of that shame by withdrawing from the help. If this is the case, a good strategy might be to maximize recreational contact and limit assistance to emergencies involving imminent death.

Re: Failed entrepreneur, broke, unemployed, now taking care of aging parents. Help.

#74

Post by alttab »

Todd wrote: post #63
pavel_lishin wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You do not need to be building a new venture, or taking risks, or trying out unproven ideas. You need to get a job and make money so you and your family don't starve to death. It sucks that you're in a place where nobody shares your motivation, but you still need to eat.

I don't think this is helpful. He can provide for his family with out a "9 to 5". He could contract remotely, for example. And he could work on side projects with an eye to the future, which would help keep his spirits up through this period.

I think the important message isn't that a job is from 9am to 5pm, but that you have a job that pays a regular paycheck based on hours worked. mattman is not in a situation to not be making any money.

Re: Failed entrepreneur, broke, unemployed, now taking care of aging parents. Help.

#75

Post by r0s »

hugh3 wrote: post #59
r0s wrote: post #47

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sounds like those people would like more media, like movie rentals. Buy a redbox machine? Start a rental store?

Start a video rental store? In the age of Netflix?

Sure, maybe he lives in a remote location with crappy internet service. with Blockbuster going down it's a perfect time to offer friendly customer service and enlightened selection.

Or, like I said, buy a vending machine.

Re: Failed entrepreneur, broke, unemployed, now taking care of aging parents. Help.

#76

Post by puredemo »

Duff wrote: post #49

Here's what you need to do. 1 - Practice humility and drop the attitude. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. 2 - Come up with a plan to have a net worth of $0 in 18-36 months -- owe nobody anything. If that is impossible to conceive of, make sure that you are exploring all avenues -- including bankruptcy. 3 - Get off the couch. Establish social connections. Go to church. Volunteer somewhere. Join a book club. Work in a…

Seriously. What keeps OP from working anywhere with an internet connection? I would see this as a massive opportunity to learn various skillsets.

Re: Failed entrepreneur, broke, unemployed, now taking care of aging parents. Help.

#78

Post by mattacurtis »

I just want to say that I am incredibly touched by the volume, sincerity, and generosity of responses. This community is incredible - so proud to be a part of it.

Mattman, I can't offer much in terms of advice or connections that have already been posted, but I will pray for you and your situation.

Re: Failed entrepreneur, broke, unemployed, now taking care of aging parents. Help.

#79

Post by erikstarck »

Wow! Extremely low cost of living and close to your family. The opportunities are boundless!

A perfect time to build an app, write a book, learn new skills. Cherish this time. Squeeze every opportunity out of it like it was a wet blanket filled with golden drops.

You don't have to be in San Francisco to get started. Do it from a barn! We're here if you need us.

Re: Failed entrepreneur, broke, unemployed, now taking care of aging parents. Help.

#80

Post by stellar678 »

While I'm not currently practicing this, I'd recommend finding someone to be an "accountability buddy". One of the parts of my life where I grew the most in terms of self-confidence, concentration and productivity was a 6-month period where I had daily email checkins with what I termed my "accountability buddy".

The program is simple - every day, first thing in the morning you send an email to your accountability buddy. Include a list of the two or three most important things to accomplish today, and a short report on how your list went yesterday. (What kind of absurd mental acrobatics you went through to justify avoiding something, successes, failures, whatever...the stories can be pretty pitifully funny at times.)

Since it's a mutual thing, you'll probably also respond to your buddy's report from the day before. But the important part is looking at your situation and behavior in a way that lets you explain it to someone else.

I started this when I had a relatively high-burn lifestyle ($1k+ monthly rent, etc...), maxed credit cards, 10k of student loans, essentially no work experience and had been laid off my first real job after only 6 months.

Making daily promises to my accountability buddy allowed me to get over the daily fear and embarrassment of my situation and just do the things I knew would move me forward. (In my case I started a freelance career that has cleared all my debt and have several ongoing clients with more work than I can really handle.)

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