1-on-1 meeting questions • Hacker News Board

Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#81

Post by dehrmann » Sun, Feb 16, 2020, 5:16 PM UTC

koonsolo wrote: post #73

RotaryTelephone wrote: post #63

My 1on1's at a 100k+ international corporation always went like this: Manager: so how's it going? Me: great Manager: any issues? anything you want to discuss? Me: everything is fantastic! I'm very happy with my job :D Manager: cool cool... well let's do this again next month. Me: yay! I don't want someone in a similar situation like I was to get inspired by lists like these and go into their next 1on1 wrecking havoc…

What a strange, helpless way to look at the world. Employment is not a boss->servant relationship, it's a relationship where both parties gain something. You offer a service, and they pay for that. End of story. They act out? Then you find someone else who needs your services. As a programmer myself, I'm in this great position where there is a shortage of good developers, and plenty of companies searching for good de…

> You offer a service, and they pay for that.

No, the company pays for that. A manager's job is to help ICs be effective and to help the company make the most of ICs' work.

My first manager told me something really good: don't look at it as a boss telling people what to do. ICs manage code, the manager manages people.

Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#82

Post by TeMPOraL » Sun, Feb 16, 2020, 5:16 PM UTC

pbk1 wrote: post #75

koonsolo wrote: post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What a strange, helpless way to look at the world. Employment is not a boss->servant relationship, it's a relationship where both parties gain something. You offer a service, and they pay for that. End of story. They act out? Then you find someone else who needs your services. As a programmer myself, I'm in this great position where there is a shortage of good developers, and plenty of companies searching for good de…

How would your response change if the shortage of "good" developers stops? Or when they decide 2 "bad" but cheap developers cost less than 1 "good" one?

Or when your constraints change as you age and develop your private life. Programming jobs are plenty until e.g. you have a spouse and a kid to provide for, making your salary demands higher and relocation more difficult.

Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#83

Post by yankit » Sun, Feb 16, 2020, 5:16 PM UTC

different_sort wrote: post #78

Thank you for sharing this. I'm a strong technologist who has inherited people management responsibilities for some junior technologists and I definitely consider people management to be the thing that I suck the most at in worklife.

I think this is what happens to a big portion of devs after promotion to management. Do you have any advices for people in your situation?

Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#84

Post by skizm » Sun, Feb 16, 2020, 5:18 PM UTC

hnrodey wrote: post #65

skizm wrote: post #61

As a grunt IC 1 on 1s are a nightmare for me. I never know what to talk about. All current project stuff is hashed out in or after scrum. Career development is more of a once per year thing (at least not weekly). If I had a problem with any of my team members I would have brought it up by now (assuming I thought others felt that way, I don't want to be the only one to bring it up or I'll be seen as the problem). For…

tbh (without knowing anything else about you, maybe caught you at a bad moment) this attitude is going to stunt your career development and growth more than you can possibly imagine. Are you wrong with any of this? Not at all. But letting it drip over in to impacting the quality of your relationships is detrimental to yourself and everyone around you. It's also disrespecting the contributions you make to the team, pr…

Not a bad moment (I don't think at least), and it is good advice to remind myself not to let it affect others around me, but I really do not care about my work, my co-workers, my company, or my career growth. That said, I do all my work on time, with above average quality (I'm pretty sure), communicate well, make sure I am never a blocker, and work to help others who are struggling (we're all stuck here together after all). I just hate the fact that I have to pretend like I'm here for more than the paycheck and the health insurance.

Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#85

Post by throwawaygo » Sun, Feb 16, 2020, 5:19 PM UTC

hnrodey wrote: post #65

skizm wrote: post #61

As a grunt IC 1 on 1s are a nightmare for me. I never know what to talk about. All current project stuff is hashed out in or after scrum. Career development is more of a once per year thing (at least not weekly). If I had a problem with any of my team members I would have brought it up by now (assuming I thought others felt that way, I don't want to be the only one to bring it up or I'll be seen as the problem). For…

tbh (without knowing anything else about you, maybe caught you at a bad moment) this attitude is going to stunt your career development and growth more than you can possibly imagine. Are you wrong with any of this? Not at all. But letting it drip over in to impacting the quality of your relationships is detrimental to yourself and everyone around you. It's also disrespecting the contributions you make to the team, pr…

This attitude reinforces the the problem. There are lots of jobs that are beneath people or just jobs. People still work them and do them well. Do they need to be excited and open about all their thoughts and feelings too? There's no reason a person can't hate to be put on the spot, hate to be interrogated by their boss every week, and still be improving their craft and planning to advance at the next jump.

You were super polite but you're pitching a one-dimensional view of engineers.

Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#86

Post by VectorLock » Sun, Feb 16, 2020, 5:19 PM UTC

RotaryTelephone wrote: post #63

My 1on1's at a 100k+ international corporation always went like this: Manager: so how's it going? Me: great Manager: any issues? anything you want to discuss? Me: everything is fantastic! I'm very happy with my job :D Manager: cool cool... well let's do this again next month. Me: yay! I don't want someone in a similar situation like I was to get inspired by lists like these and go into their next 1on1 wrecking havoc…

I find myself doing those exact kind of 1:1s with my reports and I HATE it. This at least provides, I think, maybe some inspiration on some better questions to ask.

Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#87

Post by yankit » Sun, Feb 16, 2020, 5:19 PM UTC

ratherbefuddled wrote: post #52

Contrived wooden questions like these would be a solid reason to not work for a manager. If someone isn't able to empathise with other humans well enough to discover how they're doing without trying to artificially manipulate a conversation with a checklist, they certainly shouldn't be managing anybody. Just talk. Do it often and do it honestly. That's all.

From my past experience as an Engineering Manager, I can say that some people wait for 1-on-1 meetings and these questions to clarify some things. Not everyone is ok to share their thoughts immediately.

Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#88

Post by dehrmann » Sun, Feb 16, 2020, 5:22 PM UTC

skizm wrote: post #61

As a grunt IC 1 on 1s are a nightmare for me. I never know what to talk about. All current project stuff is hashed out in or after scrum. Career development is more of a once per year thing (at least not weekly). If I had a problem with any of my team members I would have brought it up by now (assuming I thought others felt that way, I don't want to be the only one to bring it up or I'll be seen as the problem). For…

> career development is more of a once per year thing

If you see it that way, it's a never thing. Career development is an always thing.

Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#89

Post by yankit » Sun, Feb 16, 2020, 5:23 PM UTC

dijit wrote: post #6

KingOfCoders wrote: post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What question in particular do you find not appropriate?

“What did you want to be when you grow up” feels a bit out of touch.

I guess it depends on what kind of connection you have with your manager. I saw managers who would rather fire people if they feel they would be happier ion another place.

Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#90

Post by TeMPOraL » Sun, Feb 16, 2020, 5:23 PM UTC

NikolaNovak wrote: post #31

awakeasleep wrote: post #23

Many of these will come off as frustrating and manipulative. When I, a manager, ask “what is the biggest obstacle facing you and how can i remove it,” I’m offloading the manager-level work of identifying blockers for my team on the individual. And hey, that might work, your teammate might have an insight you’re missing. But then, if they do have that insight, you’ve volunteered to do a shitload of work for your team.…

>>When I, a manager, ask “what is the biggest obstacle facing you and how can i remove it,” I’m offloading the manager-level work of identifying blockers for my team on the individual. That gets a bit circular. In my mind, "asking my team members" is THE number one method of "identifying blockers for my team". Think about it - if a manager didn't ask for input from their team members, and instead assumed they can ide…

> Think about it - if a manager didn't ask for input from their team members, and instead assumed they can identify blockers, on their own and in vacuum, how would we portray such a manager?

A smart manager can also observe things, but on top of that, in a healthy atmosphere some employees will provide that feedback on their own. If subordinates trust that voicing their concerns will have positive, or at the very least non-negative impact on how they're seen, they'll tell you all about the blockers and the uncertainties.