I Won’t Buy My Teenagers Smartphones

My initial reaction is to agree with this parent's policy because I don't really like smartphones. The problem is you just kind of need them even if you're not a big social media user.

As a grown up, I've considered giving up my own smart phone but friends use whatsapp/viber, traffic in the city is getting worse every year and an app like Waze becomes essential, depending on what you do, reading and replying to email while on the go can be pretty important. Similarly, growing up in a society where your peers connect pretty much exclusively via social media, you simply need it if you want to even remotely fit in (like others have pointed out). Not having a smart phone is not the end of the world (for me or the teenagers in question) but there will be daily negative consequences.

The problem is not the tech itself but the way it's being used. It's the whole reason I don't really like having a smart phone (while also enjoying many of its features). I want a utilitarian tool that gets done what I need done. If I use a socket wrench to remove a bolt, I expect the wrench to just do it. I don't want it telling me about some fancier wrench available or a better bolt to use in the future or anything else I didn't ask of it.

What I get instead is a platform where I can be targetted, sometimes obviously, sometimes invisibly, as a potential customer of some business. On top of all that, you know the device is easily damaged and doesn't last very long because of a quickly degrading battery. And good luck finding a good quality battery after 2 years or even easily replacing it. Screws are the biggest faux pas you can now commit as a manufacturer. You'd probably sell more units if some of them spontaneously combust than if they aren't all smooth and glossy.

Any attempt to make a human-centric smart phone (and underlying OS) is doomed to failure because of cost.

But hey, current smartphones is what people want so what do I know. Anyway. Did I mention I don't like smart phones?

I feel like this article conflates 'smart device' with 'phone' in a way that can often happend

My 8 year old has one of our old phones with WiFi only. It's still plenty addictive with with the thrill of games and TV. If you wait to talk about smart phone addiction until your kid gets cell service you're probably going to miss the boat.

As my kid gets older - well the author may sneer at your kid waiting a few minutes to get picked up from soccer practice but that minimizes the issue. When I was a kid it was a collect call from "I'm-at-the-library-pick-me-up-by-5". I think there's a lot to be said for giving a kid flexibility in their movements. That may mean a 'dumb' phone, which I would consider, but it doesn't mean no phones whatsoever.

I think the other counter-point I would make to the author is that the best time to start talking to your kids about smart phones may well be while they're still on premise, and still respect and trust you. I've ( somewhat reluctantly ) setup my kid with ( facebook ) kids messenger and a Roblox account. She only has access on my phone so her time is limited, and it's also led to a lot of good discussions about internet predator and pressure to pay for in-game upsells.

Most importantly ( IMO ) is talking about how easy it is for social interactions to lead to problems - getting bullied, being a bully, the blow to her self esteem if her friends seem to be chatting with each other and leaving her out. It's really hard to navigate, and it doesn't go away if she gets her first smartphone at 18. I don't know if I really can protect her from it but perhaps I can let her know that I understand, and she can talk to me

I think my point suggests the opposite conclusion: arbitrary electronics bans are counterproductive. if your kid chooses the device over interacting with you, that is a strong sign that something is wrong; this is the signal you are looking for! if you remove the choice by prohibiting the device during "family time", you are just removing a source of information.

my parents never told us we couldn't use our phones at dinner, but they did explain that when we did it, we were signaling that what we were doing with the phone was more interesting/important than family dinner. I decided that wasn't the message I wanted to give my parents, so I would only pull out the phone for time-sensitive communications. a little bit of respect can go a long way.

My own approach is to treat the phone as a tool, not as a social media consumption gadget. GPS, quick point-and-shoot camera, weather apps, music player - those are my main uses. Spending all day with my face buried in my phone? No thank you.

> If they're the only ones without a smartphone, they'll be single out

From South Park, season 3 episode 11, "Chinpokomon":

Kyle: Please Mom? Everybody else has Chinpokomon.

Gerald: Well, Kyle, that's not a reason to buy something.

You see, son, fads come and go. And this "Chin-po-ko-mon" is obviously nothing more than a fad. You don't have to be a part of it. In fact, you can make an even stronger statement by saying to your peers, "I'm not going to be a part of this fad, because I'm an individual." Do you understand?

Kyle: Yes. Yes, I do, Dad. Now let me tell you how it works in the real world. In the real world, I can either get a Chinpokomon, or I can be the only kid without one, which singles me out, and causes the other kids to make fun of me and kick my ass.

Gerald: Hm... Good point; here's $10. [hands it to him]

Kyle: Thanks.

Gerald: Wait, here's 20. Get one for your brother, too. [Kyle receives the other $10 and walks out]