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I Won’t Buy My Teenagers Smartphones

theatlantic.com

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Re: I Won’t Buy My Teenagers Smartphones

#31

Post by lancesells »

y4mi wrote: post #7

This is clearly written by an adult who forgot how most children behave. If they're the only ones without a smartphone, they'll be single out. Especially with how prevalent online communication has become. They might not be bullied (though they probably will be), but growing up as the outsider comes with is own can of worms. They'll most likely survive it, but it'll have it's effect... But everything has consequences…

I have a son around the same age as the authors and I've definitely thought about it. It's an addicting device to both adults and children so there is some merit to not having one. That said, my kid is a musician and gets to connect and collaborate with other kids in different states and countries from all walks of life. I find that pretty amazing and a plus to him having a smartphone.

Re: I Won’t Buy My Teenagers Smartphones

#32

Post by josephwegner »

leetcrew wrote: post #18
docker_up wrote: post #11

My friend recently got his sons a smartphone and he says their relationship has been irrevocably damaged because of it. Not because they are rude, etc. But when they used to talk, now it's complete silence and them looking at their phones, chatting with their friends or girlfriends. He hates the phones now because there is no socialization whatsoever with his kids. The power of the phone is that strong, and he had su…

one possible interpretation of this story is: when given the option, the son prefers to talk to his friends instead of his parent. the phone is not the culprit here; it merely revealed a pre-existing preference.

I think you're spot on, and this is part of the reason I will have "no phones* after dinner/school/whatever" when my kids become smartphone age. I expect I will have similar rules about headphones in cars, or tablets at restaurant tables.

If my relationship with my kid's is falling apart, I want to have some sort of signal that alerts me to it happening. I want it to feel awkward, so that I know to fix it. If the damage is masked behind a screen, I might miss it and never know to repair it.

* or whatever the new distracting device is in ~10 years.

Re: I Won’t Buy My Teenagers Smartphones

#33

Post by lowken10 »

y4mi wrote: post #7

This is clearly written by an adult who forgot how most children behave. If they're the only ones without a smartphone, they'll be single out. Especially with how prevalent online communication has become. They might not be bullied (though they probably will be), but growing up as the outsider comes with is own can of worms. They'll most likely survive it, but it'll have it's effect... But everything has consequences…

You sound like someone trying to justify lazy parenting.

Re: I Won’t Buy My Teenagers Smartphones

#34

Post by jonstokes »

I think it's amazing that on a site that's supposedly filled with tech geeks, so few commenters seem to know the difference between spending time alone in your room in front a non-networked PC learning to code, and being glued to a networked smartphone no matter where you are, taking in a feed and waiting for the dopamine hit from a "like" or a share.

Anyway, the public-spirited side of me sees responses like the ones here and is depressed, but my secret inner libertarian sees them and thinks: "Score! My three kids will have attention spans and social skills, and will out-compete the smartphone-addicted children of these fools in every arena of adult life. So by all means, cripple your kids by handing them one of these pocket slot machines. Mwuahahaha"

Re: I Won’t Buy My Teenagers Smartphones

#35

Post by ihuman »

pradn wrote: post #19
docker_up wrote: post #11

My friend recently got his sons a smartphone and he says their relationship has been irrevocably damaged because of it. Not because they are rude, etc. But when they used to talk, now it's complete silence and them looking at their phones, chatting with their friends or girlfriends. He hates the phones now because there is no socialization whatsoever with his kids. The power of the phone is that strong, and he had su…

It's time to move past the idea of "self-control" as an option against the onslaught of addictive apps. I've been leaving my phone at home on the weekends when I go out for a few hours, and it's been liberating. It's easier to leave my phone at home completely than to stop checking it when I'm away. And yes, this does require some self-control. I mention this to friends and they say they can't at all leave because of…

If I understand correctly, what you're saying is you use self-control to create situations where you don't need to rely on self-control? That seems like a good compromise between having a smartphone 24/7 and no smartphone ever. I've done similar things in the past; when I needed to study for an upcoming exam, I setup a web filter that would block distracting websites if I browsed them for too long.

Re: I Won’t Buy My Teenagers Smartphones

#36

Post by holdenc »

gwbas1c wrote: post #26

Just curious: Any parents in this thread? When did you give your kids smartphones? We're at the point where we replace our phones every two years, and plan on letting our kids use the old ones. (Probably wifi-only, mostly to keep costs under control.)

It's a short trip between 15 and 18 years old. Treat a 15 year old like a baby, and they'll be making up for lost time their first year away from home. A 15 year deserves a smart phone, but should respect the house rules on when it's ok to use.

Re: I Won’t Buy My Teenagers Smartphones

#37

Post by snow_mac »

My son is 8... there is no way in hell I'm going to let him have a smartphone. I mean, he poops in pants still and can't hold his pacifier in his mouth on his own. Why am I going to give him a $1,000 smartphone? His crib wasn't that expensive... 8 is too early to a kid to have a smartphone.

Re: I Won’t Buy My Teenagers Smartphones

#38

Post by helpPeople »

grahamel wrote: post #12

it's a shame we don't hear the kids side in the article people I know who have done this have eventually changed and allowed/bought a phone as the in school peer pressure was huge and the kids ended up feeling excluded from their social groups as not fitting in (nothing wrong with kids finding their own path btw)

I think there is going to be a major technology gap next generation.

Nerds vs Luddites vs Apple users.

Each will have a vastly different understanding of technology.

Re: I Won’t Buy My Teenagers Smartphones

#39

Post by [deleted] »

holdenc wrote: post #36
gwbas1c wrote: post #26

Just curious: Any parents in this thread? When did you give your kids smartphones? We're at the point where we replace our phones every two years, and plan on letting our kids use the old ones. (Probably wifi-only, mostly to keep costs under control.)

It's a short trip between 15 and 18 years old. Treat a 15 year old like a baby, and they'll be making up for lost time their first year away from home. A 15 year deserves a smart phone, but should respect the house rules on when it's ok to use.

[deleted]

Re: I Won’t Buy My Teenagers Smartphones

#40

Post by [deleted] »

chuckgreenman wrote: post #6

I see the smart phone addiction problem as similar to the food addiction problem, you have to eat and if you want to have a good modern job you have to have a cell phone. Part of becoming an adult is learning about the temptations of life and how to manage them. Ultimately I think this is a disservice in the long term, by shielding their kids from technology they also shield them from the development of the self cont…

[deleted]
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