One strategy I've seen and used effectively is speaking slowly and quietly, people will be forced to listen carefully to what you are saying and it will bring the energy of the conversation down a notch.
Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
81–90 of 311 posts
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#82Sometimes it's unfortunately just a personality thing. There are people that are notorious for just needing to be the smartest person in the room, and if they aren't checked, it's just going to be a sucky place to work. I've had limited good luck dealing with them by asking a lot of questions, Socrates-style. Really pinning them down. Particularly if I have an opposing solution that answers my own questions better. T…
"OK, thanks." then go back to whatever else you were doing. Your example at least makes it sound like this person is actually seeking a confrontation of some sort, so just remove that as an option.
Alternately, "let me know when you decide how to handle it."
Or maybe that person is using you for rubber duck debugging[0] and you're not fulfilling your part, in which case buy him a rubber duck.
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#83Sometimes I'll raise my hand every time I get cut off. You have to read the room though.
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#84You have to treat it as intolerable. Getting cut off is like getting slapped in the brain. It's one of the first rules of engagement I make, because I'm usually the most cutoff-able person.
There is only one way to solve it that I have found. Whoever is boss makes a rule that cutting people off is not permitted. Enforcing it is like teaching a dog not to piss on furniture, you must interrupt them in the act; enforcement must be diligent, or it won't work.
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#85That is not a common thing in workplaces. Interrupting someone who's speaking is rude, plain and simple, in any context. People that talk over each other, to be blunt, have no manners. Are the discussions important to your work, or just social though? If work-related, they need to be managed in a setting where everyone has the chance to speak and be heard. I would discuss this with your manager if it's work-related, and hopefully he/she can provide an environment that's managed and not chaotic babble going back and forth. Also, there are books and resources that might help you be more assertive and confident in situations where you have to jockey for attention. There aren't many times that happens, but in competitive business, it does happen. Everyone is looking out for #1. I'd add that people that interject all the time are poor listeners, which is a problem in business(and life). If all they're doing is thinking about the next thing they're going to say to the point they can't even hold it in, then they certainly aren't paying due attention to whoever is speaking and the topic and giving it diligent consideration.
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#86I’ve been witnessing a masterclass in this at work lately. One of the faculty I work with has a habit of jumping in on people when they’re talking. One of our new faculty simple refuses to spot when the other person jumps in—-just simply keeps taking over the interrupter. Doesn’t speak up, doesn’t alter their cadence, simply continues to talk. It’s amazing.
this is a VERY hard thing to learn, but I am trying it. Sometimes it just requires more concentration and determination than I can muster. Also the person doing the interrupting will occasionally accuse YOU of interrupting them. I hate feeling bullied by interrupters so I am constantly working to master any and all tactics for shutting down what I see as this rude/disrespectful/disruptive behavior.
Why? This is passive aggressive.
Am I taking crazy pills? What's the problem with just politely saying, "Can you please not interrupt?" or "Let me finish my point please."
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#87Raise it with your manager, if it's peer's discussion then someone should moderate. When my team has meetings, I moderate. I make sure those remote get to speak first, and then I make sure no one is speaking for too long and call other's by name to add their ideas. If someone interrupts, I cut them off and tell the person that was speaking to continue.
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#88I worked at a place like that. I wasn't even aware of the problem. It was just how things were. One day our director called a meeting and announced that our whole department had a serious issue with interrupting. He noted the results of interrupting each other (not hearing each other out, drifting off topic, just being seen by the rest of the company as jerks). He laid out a bunch of rules for meetings, discussions,…
What do you do when the director / manager is actually the one doing the interrupting?
Oh he was very good at it himself ;)
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#89You say to the other person, loudly and firmly "hang on X, I haven't finished" then you carry on until you're done. There's no magic to it, no reliance on a corporate directive, or gimmick like a talking stick or hacky sack. You just directly address the other persons behaviour.
This is the right way. People know interrupting is rude and if you call them out immediately you can just continue. Adding some gesture helps too, like raising the pointing finger :)
Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constantly getting cut off in work discussions?
#90I have a problem cutting people off- I get way to excited about what I want to say and jump in. I really appreciate when people call me out and don't take it personally. I also try to work on it and try to help steer the conversation to other people who have been cut off when I see it happen. So IMO don't be afraid to politely just let someone know! If you don't feel comfortable during the meeting, maybe speak with t…
Most interrupters are exactly like andrewcarter here, they just get excited. When someone does it they're most likely not trying to be rude, and it's well within your consideration to air your complaint, "I am happy to hear your thoughts, but please let me finish my own before you share yours." It isn't a rude or confrontational sentiment. Nobody likes being interrupted, and nobody likes being called-out as an interr…
I have this issue too, I think it also has to do a bit with cultural background sometimes.
I grew up in a hispanic family in a majority hispanic community, where my everyday conversation with people was people talking over each other. It was common to start making your point while the other person was still finishing theirs.
The difference is, because everyone did it, we would just keep talking, even if we were cut off, and finish our thought. The other person would hear it, while still talking, and the conversation continues naturally. If you were in a group, you had to go louder than the currently speaking person in order to "grab the baton" and get your word in (something I was often too quiet for).
This was my normal throughout childhood.
It was a culture shock when I went to college and eventually someone called me out for cutting people off all the time. It was then that I realized that now, when I cut someone off, they actually stopped talking.
I still struggle with this, because I reflexively expect people to not let me stop them.