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My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine

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Re: My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine

#81

Post by qbit »

vr3690 wrote: post #54
reubenmorais wrote: post #52

I'm fairly sure I'm depressed, but I feel like I have to hide it in order to protect my mom, who is also depressed. She's been dealing with her depression for about five years now, and thanks to software I've been able to support our family for the past three years (I'm 22), which is fantastic for her and my siblings, but at the same time it makes me feel like I have to be an emotional/financial anchor for the family…

You should go talk to someone professional about all this. It'll definitely be helpful

I'm curious and I think others might be as well. How does one possibly go about finding a therapist who is a good fit? It seems like searching for a needle in a haystack -- akin to finding a good life partner which requires lots of trial and error.

Re: My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine

#82

Post by milesf »

I've struggled with a serious mental illness for years. Although I've beaten the worst of it, I have to be vigilant for the rest of my life to make sure I stay healthy.

In my experience, one issue that does not get enough attention is the stress and strain mental illness puts on the loved ones of those who suffer from mental illness. I hate that mine has been a burden on my wife and kids, even thought I have taken full ownership of it.

I'm glad to see that awareness is growing. We still have a long way to go, especially in certain industries (I'm looking at you, Hollywood).

Re: My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine

#83

Post by studentrob »

NikolaeVarius wrote: post #53
a3n wrote: post #49

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Anecdote of one: Looking back, I've been depressed most of my adult life, from 20 to my current 58. A few years ago I went to CrossFit for a couple years. I went from not being able to do a single pullup, to being able to crack off 20+. It didn't help. For me. I still wanted to kill myself, and all the while I went to the gym I felt it was pointless. Again, that's an anecdote of one. The cause of my depression and so…

I can relate. I went on a fitness binge a bit back. These days I can run a 10k in 45 minutes pretty easily, hit very good lifts for my weight class, and eat salads basically every single meal. After work and after the gym, all I want to do is drink or anything similar to get rid of all the thoughts in my head about how pointless it all is. Why the hell do I care if I can do all that crap. I feel like how others do. I…

Are you curious about anything? Travel, girls, sports? Could you put yourself in a new environment to renew some curiosity?

Re: My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine

#84

Post by mistermann »

yeukhon wrote: post #21

I don't believe in therapy. I have multiple major depressions throughout my life, and I entered a new one two and a half years ago. I don't believe in therapy because therapists don't offer anything new but the same comments and advice I get from books and television shows. Morning commute and night commute are the darkest hours of my every day life. Sleeping in doesn't help me because my mind is full of ideas and fe…

Have you ever been prescribed medication before, and did you take it as instructed? If not I think it would be logical to investigate that avenue (a few times with different drugs, it's far from an exact science) before giving up all hope.

Re: My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine

#85

Post by mistermann »

NikolaeVarius wrote: post #53
a3n wrote: post #49

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Anecdote of one: Looking back, I've been depressed most of my adult life, from 20 to my current 58. A few years ago I went to CrossFit for a couple years. I went from not being able to do a single pullup, to being able to crack off 20+. It didn't help. For me. I still wanted to kill myself, and all the while I went to the gym I felt it was pointless. Again, that's an anecdote of one. The cause of my depression and so…

I can relate. I went on a fitness binge a bit back. These days I can run a 10k in 45 minutes pretty easily, hit very good lifts for my weight class, and eat salads basically every single meal. After work and after the gym, all I want to do is drink or anything similar to get rid of all the thoughts in my head about how pointless it all is. Why the hell do I care if I can do all that crap. I feel like how others do. I…

Do you hate what you do for work?

Kudos on being able to accomplish all the fitness goals under the circumstances, fwiw.

Re: My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine

#86

Post by nikmobi »

qbit wrote: post #81
vr3690 wrote: post #54

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You should go talk to someone professional about all this. It'll definitely be helpful

I'm curious and I think others might be as well. How does one possibly go about finding a therapist who is a good fit? It seems like searching for a needle in a haystack -- akin to finding a good life partner which requires lots of trial and error.

I think for a lot of people it's trial and error. When I was researching, I went through a list of local therapists, reading their descriptions and website, and eventually narrowed the list down to 3-4. I then set up a session with all of them, and then made my decision. Worked for me.

Re: My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine

#87

Post by jwise0 »

innertracks wrote: post #76

7.62x39 was going to be my bullet of choice. 10 years or so of depression was enough. Until I saw my 3 year old daughter down the hall while I was heading to the closet to get the rifle. In that moment, I chose to endure the pain for her. Not that I didn't think about it again, many times, over the years. A friend happened to call a few days later. He convinced me to schedule a doctor's appointment that day. Tip: The…

Thank you for your courage to post this here.

Re: My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine

#88

Post by jacalata »

qbit wrote: post #81
vr3690 wrote: post #54

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You should go talk to someone professional about all this. It'll definitely be helpful

I'm curious and I think others might be as well. How does one possibly go about finding a therapist who is a good fit? It seems like searching for a needle in a haystack -- akin to finding a good life partner which requires lots of trial and error.

I went to a doctor and got anti-depressants first. I didn't find a good therapist until a couple years later, but the meds helped.

Re: My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine

#89

Post by foxhop »

Nrsolis wrote: post #66
foobarqux wrote: post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Which medication changed your life?

Zoloft. I had a very strong opinion about psychiatric drugs: I hated the idea of them. But when you are desperate, you'll try anything. And I was desperate. SO I made a bargain with myself: drugs for a maximum one year. No matter what happened, I'd only try the drugs for one year. After one year I didn't need them any longer. I was able to understand when I was entering a depressed state and adjust. Knowing what "goo…

I just started Zoloft, 10mg, 4 months ago. I was desperate, I just wanted to be happy for Christmas for once, for my children's sake and it brought me back.

(brought me back: ability to smile and laugh. Ability to find amusement watching television [even my wife's shows], ability to think at work. No longer staring out my window wishing everything would end)

I have not put in the work to find a talk therapist, I really think I'm ready to do that now, I'm going to follow up on Monday and find someone.

Re: My dad hid his depression. I won’t hide mine

#90

Post by biot »

nextos wrote: post #45
novakinblood wrote: post #11

All I can say is you're not alone. I've been diagnosed with major depressive disorder, have 4 kids (youngest is 7months) and I'm going through therapy and working on medication. It's aggravating because for me the medication takes time to make a difference. Also I'm working on 2 engineering jobs to make ends meet. The thing that has helped is opening up to a select few of friends. I am not the kind of person to open…

Have you checked your thyroid? There's a potential causal link between hypothyroidism and depression.

Not sure why you're being downvoted (other than perhaps playing internet doctor). One of the first things a competent medical professional will do is to evaluate where you're at, which includes checking thyroid levels. That said, don't listen to internet doctors; go see a real one and let them do their job... which will likely include the aforementioned check.
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