> Fathers should absolutely be there for emotional support, especially for small kids.
A CEO should know about corporate finance but that doesn't mean he should also be the CFO. Both roles are important enough to have separate execs. Parenting is similar. I did not advocate for an emotionally shutoff and cold father, but rather the responsible person and the person the child runs to for emotional support is the feminine parent which is the mother (usually at least). Similarly, boys need to be taught how to be men. Women have their own unique perspective and as such, mothers should take part in this but ultimately, the parent who should be responsible for masculinity education is the masculine parent, who knows how to handle a testestrome filled body and the specific society's expectation of men and how to address or confront that, and the father (usually) is the right person for this due to biology.
You and others are saying both parents can do this. I am saying, the parent with the most experience and qualifications should be the responsible parent without excluding the other parent entirely. You can blame the CEO for being ignorant about the company's financial state but you can't hold him/her responsible for mismanging finances without making sure the CFO did his/her job right.
> Also, distant mothers are not a modern creation, there have always been distant mothers.
100% agree with this. But so are fathers that teach boys weakness, cruelty and cowardice or who themselves don't know how to be a man (like abuse their wives). Parents who suck at their roles exist and that sort of is my point. If a mother is cold and distant then should the father take on the role of an emotional support primary parent as well as masculinity training? What is the mother doing? Neglecting the child? Is that really ok for the father to be expected do both things or maybe should the mother teach the boy to shave and to fight off bullies and succeed in the sport of the boy's choice? No problem with that so long as you are not saying one parent is responsible for everything. That's the root cause, you and others are caught up in politics and appearances and avoid holding both parents responsible. Neither fatherhood nor motherhood is a shared duty, parenthood is. These terms are not some patriarchal social construct that you must rebel against. They simply mean children have specific needs that need to be met and parents need to choose which role to take on and be an expert in that role who will meet that need. If a father doesn't know how to take on the role of emotional support for the child because the mother is distant and cold, then why are you blaming the father for not being two parents when you should be asking what could be done to help both parents figure out a way to share parenthood and decide who will take on what role?