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Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

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Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#311
It is not a father's job to be the person a child goes to for emotional support. A father is indeed supposed to pass down masculinity and how to manage it and how to become a socially functional and acceptable man.

Mothers on the other hand are supposed to be the primary person that provides emotional support and care. But, the immediate community is supposed to provide that support as well.

This is how human society has functioned through history. This is how we naturally function.

Fathers being emotional support, mothers being distant and the community being a cold and harsh distant group of people does not work.

Teachers and social workers are not "the community". Children don't need psychoanalysis and being taught to think of themsleves as victims if their parents are too busy to attend their school presentations and sports activities and all that, because you have the community right there embracing you and supporting you.

"It takes a village to raise a child" not paid employees of schools and governments and psychoanalysts helping politicians draft policies.

The entire context of how this question is even being asked is wrong imo.

"A child that is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth"

Asking masculine fathers to be emotional or telling children the entire burden of their successful upbringing is on the shoulders of their parents is not only incorrect, it reminds me of the proverb "don't grade a fish on its ability to climb a tree". If it is unnatural for a father to support a child a certain way and it is natural for a mother, what is wrong with that?

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#312

We don't need a critical theory of boyhood, we just need to stop institutionally empowering people who hate their dads. I know many good men, and the defining characteristic of every single one of them is that regardless of who their father was, they accept him, and by extension they accept themselves. If you are still mad at him or have contempt for him, I recommend considering how it's manifesting in your beliefs a…

Err… what? So people with abusive or absent dads should just forgive and love them?

[dead]

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#313

Earlier quoted context omitted.

[flagged]

I watched my wife (and our lives) before and after children and I disagree. She was always strong, but nothing challenges her, or us, like raising kids. Especially after the toll pregnancy had on her body. That's not to say it's the only virtuous thing a woman can do, but it's so incredibly selfless to continuously drain your body and mind intentionally for the sake of a child's well-being.

I think their point may be women who can’t have children enduring that

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#314
post #184

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Last year there was some graffiti near my house: "Trans rights are human rights!" Okay, fair enough. Then a few metres later, in the same colour and obviously by the same person: "Kill all men!" People will say "yes, but it doesn't mean literally kill all men", and of course it doesn't. But it's not exactly positive, is it?

I really wanna ask whoever wrote that if trans men are included

The dogma among certain groups of feminists is that trans men are "really" confused lesbians, and that those feminists are entitled to their bodies because they "should" be in lesbian relationships as opposed to transitioning.

Claiming those feminists aren't feminists does nothing to stop them from calling themselves feminists.

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#315

Can somebody define what "emotional support" even is? I have no clue what they are talking about. From reading the article I would say men might need mentors who give them good advice and wisdom. That is what I felt I needed at times, anyway.

The opposite of emotional support is if you're crying, people around you say "don't be a baby."

Actual emotional support can take a lot of different forms. I'd say that it includes someone recognising the emotions you're having, not judging them, not stopping you from expressing them, and talking about the emotions afterwards if you're up for it.

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#317

As a black guy I don't remember a friend ever saying "black people suck" to my face. But I've heard people I'm close with, both women and men, say that "men suck" countless times. I think a lot of people who don't see themselves as "biased" still carry a lot of bias when it comes to gender, and it has an impact.

[deleted]

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#318
post #260

I'm mid 30s now and my childhood is full of instances of me being treated with contempt for being a boy by my teachers and female peers. Like, outright mocking in ways by teachers that in retrospect I would consider nearly traumatic and abusive. Maybe public, unashamed contempt is more recent?

Can you give some examples?

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#319

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> absent fathers issue seems like something concrete and impactful There is a general corruption of the concept of masculinity in American culture. It’s similar to what’s happened to the symbol of the American flag, but more insidious. When I say masculinity, or masculine values, what do you think of? When you think of someone who values their masculinity, who do you perceive? Now do the same for femininity. Which mo…

I don't understand the link with the flag. Can you explain?

Many (mostly to the left of center) increasingly associate it with far-right nationalist groups, Trump supporters, or any group considered undesirable. As a result, the flag is gaining an undeserved negative connotation in the same way that masculinity has.

Re: Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

#320

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Maybe in a society where leadership is based on challenges of physical strength (i.e. 1v1 combat for the right to rule). But that hasn’t been true of most cultures for millennia. It goes deeper than that.

You are saying that women are inherently 'less wise' or 'mentally weak' or some such? What are you saying?

Well, read the room. It is obvious what the tone of this discussion is - and it's pretty gross!
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