Yes the subject says it all. Obviously technology created new opportunities but it also made the dining table bigger and bigger and bigger until we can't see who is sitting on the other side. Yes you have a bigger pie but now you have to sit alone and dine. But at the same time I believe all is not lost. Technology is also the savior. That is why I can suddenly now chat with my high school friend or connect with him/her over social media even though we are thousands of miles away. One day I believe we will live holograms of our loved ones walk across the room and we can talk to them just if we were next to them. Now if your problem is that you are lonely because you just can't stand the sight of anyone else then I feel sorry for you but it may be better for everyone this way.
The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness
771–780 of 1001 posts
Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness
#772> Especially now that Uber has a STFU option I never understood why people are so against talking to the people that give them a ride. I once was in a very rough spot in my life and talking with taxi-drivers almost daily about the most trivial stuff (weather, politics, traffic) used to give me a very healthy reprieve from the black thoughts I used to have.
Because for some people talking to strangers is hard. Literally - like for some people carrying a 50 lbs bag might be hard, so can be talking to a stranger. Can I take this 50 lbs bag and walk with you for a mile or two because you think it'd be fun for you? Yes, I can. Do I want to? Maybe, if you're my friend or I feel like working out or just in the mood. Or maybe not, because I don't feel like doing this work now.…
Reading this felt like you've been observing me at the gym and documenting my behaviour. I've been trying to establish an exercise habit and at some point I'd like to become comfortable again talking to strangers. It used to be a skill that I practiced unknowingly when I was young and could talk to anyone. Now there are days when I'm done working out and it takes all the effort just to make eye contact with someone and mutter something like "hey, how was your class?"
Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness
#773Earlier quoted context omitted.
Suicide rates have skyrocketed for middle-aged white men in the US. They are now the highest statistic. [0] It's happening already. • Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the US. • The age-adjusted suicide rate in 2017 was 14.0 per 100,000 individuals. • In 2017, men died by suicide 3.54x more often than women. • White males accounted for 69.67% of suicide deaths in 2017. [0] https://afsp.org/about-suicide/s…
> men died by suicide 3.54x more often than women That's a very interesting statistic considering women attempt suicide 1.2x more than men.
Men tend to use firearms more often when attempting suicide whereas women tend to use medication more often. The latter is easier to treat and ambulances are better equipped for overdoses than gunshots.
Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness
#774My own concerns are different. I'm in my 50s now, happily married for over 25 years, with a terrific social life. I'm not at all lonely or isolated. It's my children that I worry about. They're boy/girl twins, now 25. My daughter is in the process of breaking up with the boyfriend she's lived with for the past two years, and moving back home to re-settle her life. She has a career, and wants to get married and start…
25 is very young. You’re not going to find many urban, college-educated 25 year olds willing to start a family that early.
If starting a family is the goal, I don't think "urban, college-educated 25 year olds" are what you'd look for. That gets you fewer kids and a moderately high disease risk.
Optimizing for the goal of a family, you'd look for suburban people who will be reaching your jurisdiction's marriage age within a year. Secondary to that you might look for ones who are smart, but they'd have to prioritize family.
Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness
#775Earlier quoted context omitted.
The Art of Loving was positively one of the worst books I have ever read. He was an unmarried, childless Atheist that wrote a book about love. As a religious, married man with children, his ideas on loving God, a spouse, and your children are almost completely wrong. It was like reading Ayn Rand, "true statement, true statement, true statement, completely illogical and nonsensical conclusion, unsupported by prior sta…
I'm not arguing against you at all in regards to your conclusion about the book (I haven't read it, and the previous poster has me concerned), but I'm a bit confused about the atheist bit here - do you take exception to their understanding of love, or just loving god?
It's obvious where Fromm got his information and ideas about women, love, etc. -- from the history of counseling women, some very unhappy, in Vienna, going back to Freud.
Experience with just one marriage would not be nearly such good information or yield such good ideas.
Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness
#776Earlier quoted context omitted.
At the risk of wading into deeply controversal territory, I'll add some personal observations. One of the harsh realities I have seen is that it's very difficult for women to "have it all" meaning a fulfilling personal, family, and professional life, especially in the most competitive fields. Yet for many years this idea has persisted in a mythical sense as broadly achievable. I am now in my late 30s. I've watched my…
I like to look at this from the perspective of "how are we going to organize society given further technological advancement in the far future" and how do we get there. Ignoring the endgames that come after the cessation of traditional human existence - either robotics replacing organics completely or mastery of genetics leading to the engineering of super-intelligent custom lifeforms to replace us - we are almost al…
This is the plot of Brave new World. The rise of the welfare state naturally replaces the biological family.
Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness
#777Earlier quoted context omitted.
Just move to you home country and enjoy all you like about it! It is that easy! You have to live there to compare, as grass is always greener on the other side, especially when you are on a vacation. You are the master of your life! Make a block party to make neighbor friends, go to a park on a weekend, take a bus (yes, you can't start a conversation at a bus station if you only drive), travel to different US cities.
>especially when you are on a vacation. This. I used to live in Seattle after vacationing there a handful of times, but after living there I found it to be one of the most least welcoming, racist, Progressively Elitist™ places I've ever lived (and I've lived all over the US). It's easy to say "I will commit to making more meaningful connections with people/strangers today", but if this is not received or reciprocated…
Makes you wonder what will be the next political activism replacing feminism and social justice activism? It seems there will always be opposing opinions, no matter where you go, so you are seemingly missing 3. avoid/ignore politics the best you can.
Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness
#778I felt loneliness acutely this week. I live alone, spend most evenings alone, and on top, work's coding and research has been slow for 2 weeks. Collaborators are at conferences and on vacation, so I had much less work and much less face-to-face contact than usual. Given that I code on my own, distribute analyses via email, and occasionally meet if people are around, I barely talked to people some days this week. Goin…
Another idea: be an expat. Move to a foreign country that speaks a different language and take language classes. First, it'll be a big valuable change, and it'll provide plenty of adventure, and expats are quick to make new friends given the shared isolation. I would recommend China or Taiwan.
Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness
#779Earlier quoted context omitted.
Happy birthday mate
Hopefully you're using a redshift/flux type app when you read HN immediately before bed, otherwise the blue light from the screen will prevent your body from secreting melatonin, compounding any other issues you might be dealing with.
HN itself isn't so bad - the background is (246,246,239) which means blue is reduced about 3% from pure white or gray.
Can't say the same for any link you might follow though.
Re: The decline of the family has unleashed an epidemic of loneliness
#780I think what's helped me a lot are teachings by Ajahn Brahm on YouTube that touch on loneliness and how to be at peace with oneself. I've learned that I'm always with a friend - myself. Learning to be friends with oneself also helps one be friends with others for example by being generally happier and much less critical.